


Learn To Love Again

by sulphuriccherry



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider Riders - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Falling In Love, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:54:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sulphuriccherry/pseuds/sulphuriccherry
Summary: Mr. Stark gets the call that Peter has been hurt, and had no one to look after him. So now it's on him to look after the kid, what could go wrong?// love you Lizzie 💖
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 79
Kudos: 276





	1. Peter Fucking Parker

Things crashed around Tony the moment he put the phone to his ear. He knew something like this was going to happen, that the world was just being too good to him for too long. Sure, he was alone after a messy divorce with Pepper. But he was alive, he was okay. His reign as Iron Man was still going strong, the public loved him and he had friends again. People loved and cared about him.

Peter was his intern, and yeah he was still kind of a kid. Okay, he was 19, but he was a kid to Tony. They worked a lot together, and Tony realised that he isn't such an annoying kid as he thought he was. Tony wasn't sure if it was because Peter had grown up, or because Tony had learned to like every little Peterism. 

He still saw the younger man as less than an equal, and although Tony cared about him, he NEVER showed it. He didn't want Peter to get too close to him, because one day, he might be gone again, and he didn't want to keep leaving the kid with a broken heart. Peter had lost so many people, and he already lost Tony once. He deserved better than this.

So the older man kept him at an arm's length and spoke to him like a stern father would his son, just to keep the personal lines from becoming something else. For Peter's own protection.

This also meant he wouldn't dare let him feel anything for the younger man. If Peter fell over, Tony told him to grow up. If Peter broke something, he paid for it. If the kid overstepped his marks, he got a lecture. That was the relationship the two of them had.

Happy and May were married, and had been for a while now. They seemed so happy, like they were just meant to be. They played father and mother to Peter, and Tony couldn't be happier for them all. 

This day in particular started off great, business meetings that he knocked out of the park, followed by a session at the gym. He waltzed into his penthouse with a smile on his face, reaching into the fridge for a bottle of water.

That's when the phone rang.

It wasn't a normal phone call. It was from May, and he'd never had a call from her. She was crying, hysterically. She couldn't get a single word out, she just cried and cried. Tony tried to get her to calm down, but she wouldn't. 

Happy had to take the phone from her and talk to Tony instead. He said something that wiped the smile clean off of Stark's face forever. Nothing would ever be the same. 

Peter.

\---

Last week, Tony had been in the lab, working away. Peter was begging him to let him go out and let him do some missions by himself. Tony was completely opposed to it. Peter wasn't ready to go unsupervised. If anything happened to that kid, he would never forgive himself. 

Adding onto that the hell he would get from Happy and May if he let anything happen to their son.

"Never in a million years." Tony told him. "I have to keep you safe,"

"But I'M NOT A KID!" Peter retorted. "I'm just as much an Avenger as the rest of you! You never trust me!" 

That conversation went on for ages. And Tony did not back down, why would he? It would be irresponsible to send a young man into battle alone. He vowed to keep Peter safe, whatever the cost. Peter finally conceded, and apologized for yelling at him. 

The rest of the day went by normally, comfortably. And Tony really thought he had won the conversation. But apparently not. 

\---

May and Happy were halfway across the world. They were taking a holiday somewhere sweet and romantic in Europe, which left Peter to run his apartment. They had been gone for a week, and weren't due home for a while. Unfortunately, Happy got sick while there, he wasn't too bad, but he couldn't fly back.

All Tony knew was that someone had called them, and told them the news. The horrible news. They didn't have anyone else to call, they didn't know what to do. The only person who would do anything was Tony.

He had to get to the hospital and get there quickly. There was nothing else going on in his mind except praying to god the kid was okay.

When he got there, everyone spotted him. They knew who he was, so he got star treatment. The nurses asked him who he was there for, and then hurried him along the corridors and halls, up the stairs and into a room that had at least 12 patients in it. 

And there he was. 

Peter Benjamin Parker, lying there in bed, covered in bruises, cuts and hooked up to machines. He was unconscious, but luckily not in a coma. Tony's face dropped, his heart could have stopped right then and there. That boy that he swore to protect, lay still in a hospital bed, with beeping everywhere. 

He truly felt like crying. But he didn't. There were too many people around. And caring is NOT an advantage. If Tony cried, then he wouldn't be able to stay strong for Peter. His parents were half a world away, and he needed someone to be strong for him.

"He was in pretty bad shape." The nurse told him. "We had to do an emergency surgery when he got here, he'll pull through, but he won't be fit for much for a long time. He can go home but he needs round the clock care, he needs someone to look after him. I'm afraid he's stuck here until his guardians come back."

Tony clenched his jaw and stared down at the younger man. Peter couldn't sit in a depressing hospital for a month, no way. That wasn't fair at all, he  _ needed  _ someone. 

And it wasn't like Tony didn't have the space. He had ample room, banks full of money and he was fit enough to run around. Christ, Nurse Tony eh? He hated being that type of person.

Sure, Tony flew around the world, defeating bad guys and saving lives, but this was a hard task. To be alone with someone who's vulnerable, who needed his undivided attention? That shit is scary. That's why he and Pepper broke up, she needed him to be that guy and he just… couldn't. 

It wasn't him. But he would hate himself forever if he didn't do something for Peter. The kid would wake up here alone, surrounded by strangers who wouldn't sit and talk to him. The beds were uncomfortable, the lights were always on. And the food? Ghastly. No way. 

He knew what he had to do.

"Can I take him home today?" Tony asked the nurse. 

She blinked a few times and gaped. "Sir, you don't have any obligations to this man. We have the room."

Tony shook his head, "Although I appreciate that, I have all the time and money to look after him at home. Peter needs friends, I'm his  _ friend. _ "

Well, that was the first time he had said that. It felt weird, but also kind of comforting. He shook it off and watched the nurse as she replied.

"Yes, okay, that sounds fine. We just need to check him over and set up a payment plan for the surgery, medication and treatments. I need to call his mother back for that information." She said as she looked over Peter's chart.

"That's okay, I'm settling the bill here. If I pay it right now, and someone checks him over, can I bring him home in the next hour?"

The nurse, confused, nodded. "Yes of course, sir. You know that you don't have to do this."

Tony cocked his head. "Why are you trying to talk me out of this? Please just get the forms, check him over and I'll bring him home. Thank you for looking after him 'til now, hm?" 

The nurse nodded and took her leave, arranging for this to be sorted asap. Tony sat down at Peter's side and watched him sleep. He didn't want to wake him up just yet. The kid needed his sleep. 

Tony hated seeing the marks across that face. He was such a sweet young man. A sweet, stupid young man. Oh, Peter was going to be in so much trouble when he woke up. Tony specifically said NO SOLO MISSIONS and here they were. 

He was torn from his thoughts when the nurse walked back in and they went over the forms together as someone checked Peter to make sure he was okay. 

\---

When Peter woke up, he could hear Tony's voice talking quietly beside him. The first thing he noticed when he opened his eyes was that he had no clue where he was. The place smelled clean and clinical, so he guessed a hospital. His body ached, but he knew that was going to happen. 

Man, he was just happy to be alive. That fight was pretty insane. He hadn't planned to fight them, just track and report back to Tony. But something happened, and as Peter surveyed them, he heard their plans to destroy Tony. There was no way he could sit there and listen to that, his blood boiled and before he knew it, he was in a battle with seven men, all bigger, taller and stronger than him.

He was lucky to be alive. 

Peter tried to focus on what Tony was saying as he slowly opened his eyes, letting himself regain his senses.

"It's going to be okay May," Tony reassured her. "Peter's coming home with me, and I'll look after him until you're home." 

Peter couldn't help but feel happy, even though his entire body was in pain. His mentor, the man he spent his whole life looking up to and trying to impress, was going to look after him. 

Peter turned his head to see Tony sitting in a chair beside him, talking into the phone and looking down at the ground. 

"Take your time, just get yourself better. I'm not going to leave his side. I've already called Pepper and given her the reigns of the company for the next month."

Wow, that's massive. Tony Stark was taking an entire month… no, you don't understand. An  _ entire  _ MONTH, off of work to make sure Peter was going to be okay. He had never realised Tony cared this much. 

The older man was slumped in his chair. "I know May, just look after Happy, okay? I'll look after your man, you look after mine? Deal?" His eyes drifted up to Peter's body and made their way to his face. 

The moment Tony saw Peter was looking at him, awake, he nearly dropped the phone. "May, I have to go sign some stuff. I'll call you later." He hung up the phone and turned his attention to the younger man. 

"Kid, you okay?" He asked, shuffling his seat closer. 

Peter tried to nod, but it hurt. He winced. "Uh, no. What did the doctor say?"

Tony wanted to reach out and touch Peter's face, giving him some kind of comfort. But that's not how they did things.

"You're going to be okay, but you need to stay with me for a while. I'm going to look after you." Tony's voice was soft and comforting, it made Peter feel reassured. Even though he was in pain, he knew he would be safe and okay.

\---

It was annoying to get Peter home to say the least. The kid was in a lot of pain and could hardly walk. Tony bought one of the wheelchairs from the hospital for three times its worth, so he could get Peter into the car, and then into the penthouse.

Once all that kerfuffle was out of the way, Tony brought Peter to the spare bedroom. He changed the sheets, and helped Peter into them.

"Do you need a shower? The bathroom?" Tony asked, pulling the covers over him. 

He knew that helping Peter do any of that would be embarrassing and uncomfortable for the both of them, but it was better him than a stranger. 

Peter shook his head, "Maybe later." He told him, "I just want to rest." 

"Okay," Tony replied, tucking him in. "I'm gonna go to your place and get some of your stuff. Is there anything in particular you want me to get?"

"Just my bag," Peter told him, slowly moving to cuddle into the pillows. "It's got my charger and laptop in it. Bring whatever you think I'll need."

Tony nodded, picking up Peter's phone from the bedside table. 

"Use this. If I'm not here and you need me, even if I'm in the other room, call me and I'm here. Promise me you will?" Tony looked into Peter's eyes. The younger man could sense how much Tony was trying, how he found this hard but really wanted to be there for him.

Peter nodded and took the phone, "I promise."

Tony smiled, "Good. Now get some rest. I'm going to head off now, I shouldn't be long." He stood up and watched Peter for a moment, before heading out of the door. 

He pressed his back against the closed door behind him, sighing deeply. 

This was going to be a long month.

  
  



	2. Washing Away the Pain

When Tony got to Peter's apartment, he had no idea what to pack. He hadn't been here in years, and he had forgotten how depressing it was. Especially compared to his penthouse. Peter's place was small and poor, rundown and sort of depressing.

He entered Peter's room and looked around. It wasn't a typical young man's bedroom. Instead of posters of girls and bands, it was the Avengers. He had framed photos of his parents on his desk, next to a few others. Tony sat down and picked up one of the biggest ones, peering at it. The photograph was of him and Peter, one where they had been working outside in Bruce's garden, helping him fix a machine. It was such a good day, and Peter was videoing and taking photos of everything.

Tony smiled as he put the picture into the little bag he was holding. If Peter was going to be around for a month, he wanted him to have as much as he could. He wanted Peter to feel at home. He rummaged around to find Peter's luggage, finally finding two huge suitcases. "For God's sake." Tony huffed as he looked at them. They were Star Wars themed… of course they were.

The older man began to go through his stuff. He felt kind of weird about it. Firstly realising that Peter would need underwear, he hesitantly opened the drawer and picked out a load of them.

Tony felt dirty, like he was doing something wrong. He looked at them as he counted them, 20 pairs should be enough, he had a washing machine. It was amusing to see that Peter had themed underwear too. Star Wars boxers, Green Day boxers and… "Oh my god."

Tony was holding up the cutest pair of panties he had ever seen. They were pink, and had little hearts on the front, the back… was a thong. They couldn't be Peter's… surely?

He could feel his heart going into overdrive as he tried his best NOT to imagine the younger man in them. Instead, he went back to packing. Trousers, shirts, jumpers, socks, and any other clothing item he could find that Peter might need. Tony then packed his bag, his laptop, chargers, some photo frames and books. 

When he opened the cupboard, he was sure he was dreaming. Inside, was a small walk in, that on one wall, had a small collage of photos of him. Tony blinked, looking over it. The words "My Hero" were written on the wall which was surrounded with selfies they had taken together, beside cutouts from newspapers.

It turns out that Peter really did look up to him. It was a weird sense of pride Tony had right then and there. Peter admired him, and looked up to him. Probably saw him as a father, a mentor, someone to teach him and guide him. That was incredibly touching. He didn't realise anyone could look up to him, not after they really knew him. 

His phone rang as he put the bags into the back of his car.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Stark?" Peter sounded like he was trying his best not to cry.

"Kid? What's wrong?" Tony asked, closing the doors to the car and walking towards the driver's seat.

"I tried to take a shower… and I fell, and I need help," his voice wavered, a lump stuck in his throat. 

"I'm on my way, stay right there." Tony told him, starting the car. He shouldn't be on the phone whilst driving but it was an emergency. He didn't want to accept it, but he was worried. "I won't be long, how do you feel? Did you hurt yourself?"

Peter sniffled, "Yes, my… ow! My legs, they were already sore before but they are worse."

"Peter, it's okay. I'll be five minutes, keep talking to me, it'll pass by fast. If you want to cry, you can cry."

That did it, Peter burst out into sobs as he lay on the bathroom floor, needing help. Tony's heart ached listening to him cry, it was horrible. He HATED Peter crying. It made him want to cry. Long ago, he vowed to kick anyone's ass who made Peter cry. Not that Peter ever knew about that.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay." Tony kept repeating, "You're going to be fine."

"Mr… Mr. Stark," Peter whimpered, "It hurts."

"I'm coming kid, I'm just parking. Two minutes maximum," 

"Okay," Peter sniffed, "Hurry, I can't move."

Tony stopped the car and headed straight for the elevator. Fuck, he wished he was in his suit and could just fly up. He raced through the penthouse towards the bathroom, opening the door to see his mentee, lying across the tiles in pain, only wearing his underwear. 

"Pete, I'm here." Tony told him as he crouched down beside him. "I'm here."

Peter seemed so vulnerable, his big brown eyes were in so much pain as he looked up. There were tears in his eyes, and streaks down his face. It was horrible to see, in fact, it made Tony want to break down himself.

"Can you move at all, kid?" Tony asked, trying to figure out the best way of doing this. 

Peter shook his head, "Only a little, I hurt so much."

Tony pursed his lips and nodded. "Okay. I'm going to have to pick you up and bring you back to bed,"

"But… but Mr. Stark, I need a shower. I feel gross, I'm not comfortable." Peter cried, trying to move and wincing as he hurt his shoulder. "Ooow," he sobbed. 

The older man sighed heavily, "Here's what we are gonna do, I'm gonna bring you to your room, run you a bath and then I'll bring you back through. Is that okay?"

Peter nodded, his body shivering in the cold as he lay on the tiles. Tony wasn't going to lie, he hated this. He never thought he would ever have another man's practically naked body against his. He wasn't against anything gay, it just wasn't him, and this wasn't just anyone. This was Peter. 

But Peter was scared and shaking, he needed his help. So regardless of anything, Tony was going to help him. "I'm gonna lift you up, Pete. Try to put your arms around my neck, can you do that?"

Peter nodded, watching as Tony's hands slid under him and pulled him closer. The younger man let his arms wrap around him loosely as he was being lifted off of the ground. Tony tried not to think about how soft Peter was, how nice it was to hold someone so close. He walked through and lay Peter down on the bed, covering him up.

"I'm going to run the bath, and bring up your suitcases. Are you gonna be okay for five minutes?" Tony asked, sitting down on the side of the bed.

"I think so," Peter whispered, cuddling into the covers. 

"I won't be long." Tony stood up, as he started walking out of the room he heard Peter's quiet voice ask after him.

"Promise?" 

Tony turned around and smiled down at him, "I promise."

\---

He came back seven and a half minutes later, out of breath from bringing up the bags so fast. Tony decided to let Peter use his en suite bathroom tub instead of the guest one, this one had way more room, and was almost like a jacuzzi. Plus, there was way more expensive body washes there. 

"Okay, bath's ready. You ready?" 

Peter nodded and let himself be carried through towards Tony's bedroom. He looked around, "Wow… I've never been in here before! It's huge!" Peter gaped as he tried to memorize it. 

Tony's bedroom was massive, and had the biggest flat screen tv on the wall. There was, what looked like, a walk in closet and shelves and shelves of books around the room. 

"Nobody's been in here really," Tony commented as he walked into his bathroom.

"Oh my god! Mr. Stark! This is your bathroom?" The room itself was huge and expensive, as you would imagine it to be. It was probably half the size of Tony's bedroom. 

Tony chuckled, "Yeah well, when you have the money. Okay, Kiddo. How do you want to do this?" He asked as he stood with Peter still in his arms. 

The bath was filled with hot water, bubbles and bath salts. It smelled amazing.

"Uh, I don't know. I need to take my underwear off…" Peter said quietly. Tony tried not to think about how awkward this was, it was something that had to be done. So he placed Peter down to sit on the side of the bath. 

"This is gonna be weird for both of us, but you need help so I'm gonna help you. Is this okay?" Tony looked up to him sincerely. 

Peter blushed and nodded in reply. Tony prepared himself and got down to his knees. "Hold onto my shoulders, when I pull them down, stand up a little so I can get them passed your hips."

Peter clenched his eyes shut, in embarrassment. "This is awful. I'm sorry you have to do this." He commented as Tony tried not to look at what he was doing. He slipped the material down and Peter gripped onto him to get them down further. Tony was fully aware that his face was mere inches away from Peter's cock, but he tried his best not to look. 

"Let's just get you in, okay?" Tony replied, helping the younger man turn around and slip into the water. 

Peter lay amongst the bubbles as Tony perched himself on the toilet seat nearby. "I'm staying in case you fall in." Tony commented coldy.

"Okay… Mr. Stark?" Peter's voice was innocent again. The bubbles completely covered his body, as steam rose up into the room. He felt so relaxed.

"What is it, Peter?" Tony leaned forward to rest on his knees. 

"Do you hate me?" 

Wow. That's heartbreaking. Tony rubbed his face and groaned. "No. But I'm really angry at you." He looked to Peter. "What made you think it was a good idea to defy my orders?" 

Peter stayed silent, looking down into the water. 

"You could have gotten yourself killed?! What were you thinking?!" Tony's voice became angrier as he gave the younger man a lecture. 

"I just… " Peter gulped, feeling his eyes water. "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me, kid," Tony told him. "Because I'm the one looking after you."

Peter lifted his arm slowly, his face scrunching up in pain as he placed his shaking hand to his face. He shook his head, feeling a lump in his throat.

"I'm sorry," Peter whispered. "I'm just… so sorry."

Tony couldn't handle seeing him like this. It was horrible and hard. He crouched down on the floor next to him.

"I'm sorry for yelling," Tony replied softly. He didn't know whether to reach out and touch him or not. Peter probably needed comforting, so he placed his hand on the younger man's hair, softly stroking it. 

Damn it this kid was softening his iron heart.

"I didn't mean to get angry at you," Stark confessed. He didn't want to tell the kid what he meant to him. That he was terrified of hurting Peter, or Peter getting hurt. Stark felt incredibly protective, and didn't want to lose him in any way. But the older man was way too proud to admit that, and now, Tony was just going to give the kid a little bit of what he needed. 

"You're going to be okay, I promise. I'll yell at you when you're better, hm? Something to look forward to?" He tried to laugh. 

Peter slowly inched towards the side of the bath and laid his head on the older man. "Thank you," he whispered. 

"It's okay. Do you want me to wash your hair?"

Peter nodded. "Please,"

The older man reached over and grabbed the jug he had brought in earlier, putting it under the water. "I'm gonna need you to sit up,"

Peter attempted to do as he was told, but it hurt too much. He shook his head, clenching his eyes shut. "I… I can't."

"It's okay, it's okay," Stark whispered, he comforted him. "I can't hold you up and wash your hair at the same time, uh, can I get in behind you? Is that okay?"

Peter looked up at him, "Naked?" 

Tony shook his head, "No, I'll keep my boxers on. I'm not getting in with jeans on, but I'll keep my top on if it makes you feel more comfortable?" 

He didn't know why he was offering this, but he really wanted to get Peter better with the least amount of pain caused as possible. Peter moved back against the back of the tub as Tony stood up and stripped down. Peter didn't watch him, he focused on holding onto the sides so he could try and pull himself up, but his arms hurt so much.

The older man held onto his back. "I'm going to sit behind you," he told him as he slipped into the tub slowly, wrapping his legs around Peter. 

The younger man felt the bare legs keep him up as he moved forward a little. Tony was only wearing his boxers, not wanting to soak his shirt through. He pulled Peter back against him to lean against and put his arms around him.

It sort of felt nice? Tony loved it. He had to admit it, the younger man's body was so soft and sweet. He fit so comfortably there. And Peter loved it too, he felt safe and warm. Tony's chest was so fucking beautiful, and it felt better than he could have ever imagined. 

Okay, so yes, this was a very intimate thing to do. And no, Tony had NEVER done this with anyone before, and he was sure the younger man had never done that either. It was a romantic thing normally, but right now, it was a comfort thing. The kid NEEDED this level of touching, needed to feel connected to someone.

"This is weird," Peter mumbled as he rested back against the older man's full chest. "But I like it."

Tony smiled, "Yeah it is." He replied, "I uh… I don't usually do this kind of thing."

"Me neither." Peter whispered, letting his hand touch Tony's and wrap them around him. 

"What are you doing?" Tony whispered, putting his face against Peter's brown curls. 

"It feels good," the younger replied. "I just want to feel something good."

The older man breathed against him, wrapping his arms around Peter's stomach, pulling him closer, if that was possible. "You're going to get better, Peter."

Peter cleared his throat, "I know… I just. I'm sorry you have to do this. I know you'd rather be up here alone… I know I'm annoying…" he sniffed, "I should have been better."

Tony shook his head. "No, don't say that. None of that's true," he reached over for the jug that was floating in the water. He picked it up and helped Peter sit forward a little.

"It is," Peter whispered, as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. Tony slowly poured the water on his hair, using his hand to make sure it didn't go down Peter's face.

"Why do you think that?" Tony asked, pouring more water over his curls. 

Peter sighed, his hands sitting against his own legs. "This is the most we've ever been nice to each other." He whispered. "And it's because I fucked up again… like I always do."

The older man reached for the shampoo and opened it, squeezing some onto his hand. "You're supposed to fuck up. You're still young." He said as he rubbed the shampoo through his hair, massaging it in.

"But what you're  _ not _ supposed to do," Tony kept going as he finished and grabbed the jug again and rinsed it out. "Is to get yourself killed."

"I'm not dead," Peter told him.

"No, you're not. But you could have been. Do you have any idea what May would have gone through?"  _ What I would have gone through? _

Peter licked his lips and closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of being so close to another human being. The hot water felt great against him, he could feel his body just reacting. 

"I wasn't going to let myself get killed." Peter explained as the older man reached for the conditioner and lathered that into his hair. 

"No, just terribly injured and in the hospital." Tony replied flatly. "Not exactly the best of ideas. I told you to what?"

"Track and report." Peter whispered sadly.

"And you couldn't do that." The older man said as he cleaned the conditioner out, picking up a sponge and cleaning Peter's body.

"Yeah well. I'm obviously an idiot, so." Peter huffed. 

Mr. Stark cocked his head and furrowed his eyebrows. "That is NOT what I said, now is it?"

Peter shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it." He told him, "Can we just leave it for now?" 

The older man nodded and wrapped his arms around him again, resting his head against Peter's now clean hair. "Of course."

"Mr. Stark?" Peter whispered. "Why are you being so nice to me? I thought you didn't even like me?"

Tony closed his eyes and held him close. "Can we just leave it for now?" He hesitated before kissing Peter's hair. 

"Sure," Peter replied. "I kinda want to eat and go to bed."

"What do you want to eat?" The older man started to clean him with the sponge again. "I'll cook you anything you want."

"Uh. I kinda want chinese. Can we order in?"

Mr. Stark nodded. "Yeah, of course. Now let's get you into some clean clothes." He held Peter up as he himself slipped out of the bath and dried himself off. He then helped Peter out and wrapped a towel around him, lifting him through to Peter's room and lying him on the bed. 

"I'm gonna get out your clean pyjamas, you're not wearing actual clothes until you need to. I'll sit them on the bed and you can try to get ready while I call the takeout place."

"You know you can just do it on your phone?" Peter offered to him, smiling. "You're so old, pass me your phone."

Tony raised an eyebrow, "Well, yeah that's how I was going to call them."

Peter giggled as he waited for the older man to hand him the phone. Stark shoved his hand in his pocket and handed it to Peter before going to retrieve Peter's bags. 

The younger man downloaded an app and started looking for food. Tony walked back in, pulling the luggage along, he opened one of them and pulled out the first pair he could find and placed them on the bed. He looked to Peter.

"What are you doing?" He asked, sitting beside him.

"You know," Peter smirked, "For a genius, you're an idiot. I can't believe you don't know about online takeout. Give me your bank card." 

Tony rolled his eyes and went to retrieve it, coming back and giving it to Peter. As the younger man played or whatever on his phone, Mr. Stark breathed in and watched over him.

Peter was actually really good looking?? Why had he never noticed that before? His cheekbones were just kissable. Tony cocked his head and watched as the younger man typed some things into the phone, smiling slightly. 

That smile was so pretty. Before Stark knew it, he was smiling at the younger man. 

Tony realised how fucking weird that was and shook himself out of it. As he did so, Peter handed him his things back. 

"Food's on it's way." Peter grinned. 

"What did you get?" He asked, leaning forward with Peter's top. "Arms up,"

Peter did as he was told and helped the man dress him. "I got your favourite, and mine."

The older man then handed him his trousers, "How do you know my favourite?"

The younger man looked up at him, "I know more about you than you think. I'm going to try to put these on myself," he said as he held his trousers. 

Mr. Stark nodded. "Okay kiddo, I'm heading through to my room to get dressed. Maybe we could watch a movie with dinner?"

Peter nodded, "That'd be nice."

\---

The dinner came within forty odd minutes, and Peter and Tony were lying on opposite sides of the couch in the living room. Peter was snuggled under a cover, and Tony had his legs up on a recliner as they watched some kind of movie that Peter wanted to watch as they ate. It was quite normal, and yet extremely strange.

"We've never just hung out like this before." Peter mentioned, eyes still on the tv.

"No, we haven't." Mr. Stark replied. 

Peter looked at him and then back to the screen, he had to admit it, he loved this. He loved his mentor taking this time to spend time with him. He had wanted to just chill and be with this man for such a long time, and now he was finally getting it. Peter decided that the pain was worth it.

"I like it." Peter smiled, eating his noodles from the takeout container. "You feel more human to me now."

"I was human before," Tony retorted, "I just like to keep my distance." He shrugged.

"Why though? Is it because of your parents? Or Pepper?"

Stark turned to him, "Kid, that's not a subject to bring up right now. That's my own business."

Peter picked up his drink from right beside him and drank from the straw. "Deflecting." He commented, watching the TV. "You keep people at bay so when they leave, they don't hurt you." 

Mr. Stark gaped at him, eyebrows furrowed, "Whaa… what happened to the sweet little Peter who didn't talk back?"

"I didn't talk back. I'm calling you out. And yeah, you're right. I wouldn't have spoken to you like this before. But you literally had your naked legs around me earlier, so I feel like a little honesty won't break your ego that much."

The older man had no idea what to say, it was shocking that Peter had the balls to speak up to him like that, but he also weirdly really liked it? Peter being blatantly honest was… kinda hot?

"Uh," Tony sat back and turned back to the TV. "Yeah… I mean. I guess you're right." His head wasn't in the movie, all he could think about was how the hell things were changing. 

"My body hurts." Peter sighed, "I feel like I'm never going to walk again."

"I'm gonna get you better, Peter." Tony said sincerely. 

"I don't understand why you're being so nice, but I have to admit, I love it. How far can I push you?" Peter smirked, looking at him.

"Depends, how much do you want?" Mr. Stark asked him.

Peter bit his lip and looked rather nervous all of a sudden. "Uh… nevermind." 

Stark was intrigued now, "Come on, don't go all shy Peter on me now." He watched as Peter chewed on his bottom lip. 

"Uh… well… I was gonna ask… if uh, I can…"

Tony raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Can I… cuddle into you?" The younger man looked up at him with pleading eyes, tugging at Tony's heart strings. 

"Fine." Tony huffed, "Come and cuddle up."

Peter slowly moved over the sofa, bringing his cover with him as Tony reached his arm up. Peter snuggled into his side and pulled his blanket over both of them. Stark waited until he was comfortable before putting his arm around him. 

"Thank you, Mr. Stark." Peter closed his eyes and breathed him in, curling into his sides with his knees up against him.

Tony stroked his hair gently, watching him as he relaxed against his chest. "You're welcome, Kid."


	3. The Darkness

Peter fell asleep in Tony's arms that night. And for a while the older man watched him snore softly. This was a surprising turn of events. He never in a billion years thought that maybe having a close relationship with the younger man was going to mean so much to him.

In fact, he really liked it. He sort of hated himself for keeping Peter at a distance, because Peter was actually interesting as hell. Before he fell asleep he was telling Tony about the old films he loved, and the older man was amazed that the kid had so much knowledge on things that meant a lot to him. 

The younger man was smart, no, intelligent in the field of science and technology, and he was always the second smartest in the room - Tony being the first. But this was more than that. This was a brain that was so close to Tony's, it made him feel a connection.

He fell asleep on the sofa too, he didn't want to wake the younger man up and move him, plus, he kinda liked the feeling of someone sleeping on him. 

It was weird how much he had always detested and been opposed to the idea of looking after someone. That's why he never wanted children, because it was responsibility, it was caring about people and it was allowing someone in. Allowing someone into his space, his heart, his home. 

But it just seemed so EASY with Peter, he fit right in. He didn't make a mess, well, he was making a mess of Tony's feelings. Because now all he wanted to do was die for him. That's it. Tony wanted to protect that cute little pale face, and make sure that those hazel eyes NEVER cried again, ever. And if they did, then the cause of that pain would have the fear of god put into them.

\---

In the morning, Tony lifted Peter up so he could get himself ready, leaving the younger man cuddled up in the couch with a pillow under his head and his blanket wrapped around him.

He managed to grab a shower and get new clothes on before entering the kitchen to make pancakes for the younger man. He was serving them up on a huge plate when he heard stifled crying coming from the other room.

Immediately he put down the utensils and walked through to where he had left Peter. Peter was crying in his sleep, his face scrunched up. He was panicking, his breathing all over the place. Tony rushed to his side and fell to his knees beside the sofa.

"Mr… Mr. Stark no!" Peter cried, shivering. His chin was shaking as the tears flooded out of him, "Don't go!" Peter sobbed. 

Tony couldn't fathom what was happening, what the fuck was the younger man thinking about?? He placed his hand on Peter's shoulder and tried to shake him out of it.

"MR. STARK DON'T LEAVE ME!" Peter cried loudly in his sleep. The younger man looked like he was in so much pain, Tony couldn't handle it anymore.

"Peter, kid, wake up, please!" He shook the younger man, holding him tighter 

Peter's eyes opened and they landed on Tony, who looked relieved when he did so. Tony placed his hand on Peter's cheek, using his thumb to wipe some of the tears.

"Kiddo, it's okay, I'm here." He whispered in a comforting voice. "I've got you,"

Peter's face was red and tear stained, water still lingering around his face and on his nose. 

"Mr. Stark?" Peter whispered, his voice wavering. "I'm scared,"

Tony's heart shattered, that was one of the worst things he had ever seen happen to Peter, and there was no enemy to defeat, just the younger man's own mind. 

"I know, buddy. I've got you. It's gonna be okay, what do you need?" Tony asked, watching him caringly as he stroked the man's hair until Peter calmed himself down.

"Uh… I don't know. What do you do when you're scared?" Peter whispered, reaching out to hold Tony's hand. As the older man locked his hand with Peter's, he realised how much he liked it. How much he really liked it.

"Well, things we can't do. Drinking, the gym, working in the lab. Flying in my suit." Tony explained to him, "Back massages, you know, all the good stuff."

Peter smiled weakly, "Do you… uh, ever take people flying with you?" 

Tony's lips curved up into a smile. "You want me to fly you over the city?" 

Peter nodded nervously. "I've been wanting it for ages… just… too scared to ask." 

The older man licked his lips and raised his eyebrows, thinking about it. "Okay, wait right here, I'll be back in a minute." The younger man's eyes lit up as he watched the older man stand up. He scrunched up his face in a playful way down at Peter before heading out of the room. 

Peter then pulled the blanket up to wipe away his tears. He was doing so well! Usually he had these nightmares earlier on in the night, and he normally had a few of them. But tonight, it was just the one, and it was really late on. 

He thought about it, until he realised the only difference between other nights and last night… was Tony. And it had to be him, because cuddling up with anyone else didn't work. When he had sleepovers with Ned, and they slept in the same bed, the nightmares were still there. 

Tony was the answer.

Peter was brought out of his thoughts as he heard a loud noise coming towards him. He looked up and gasped, a wide grin on his face as he watched Iron Man walk into the room. 

"Oh my god," Peter marveled as Tony walked up to the sofa with his suit on, his helmet moving so he could see Peter. 

"Okay then Spiderman, do you want to go flying?" 

"More than I've ever wanted anything." Peter nodded enthusiastically as he beamed up at him.

Tony crouched down and slid his arms underneath Peter's body, picking him up like a prince would his princess. He held him in his arms and walked over to the wall window that he had opened earlier. 

"You're going to be okay," Tony looked down at him. "Ready?"

Peter nodded and curled into him as the older man held him as tight as he could. Tony flew off the side of the building and into the air, soaring over the city. The wind wasn't too bad, but Peter's hair was going all over the place. Tony knew exactly where he was going, and he went slower than usual just to make sure that Peter was kept safe. 

He watched as Peter's eyes were in awe. Sure, the kid could swing from building to building, but to fly above it all, to not have to worry about where he was sticking to next, it was very freeing. 

Tony flew down and around a building or two, slowing down near a fairground. There were lights and music everywhere, and people pointing up to them. Tony flew Peter up past the ferris wheel as the people inside waved at them. 

Tony dove down to get Peter candyfloss as they then continued to fly around, high and low, around the streets. Peter was happy, grinning and really enjoying himself, and yes, Tony enjoyed it too. 

Eventually, he brought Peter back to the penthouse. "So the pancakes I made you are going to be gross," Tony laughed as he sat Peter down on an armchair near the open kitchen. "I'll need to make you something else, candy floss isn't exactly a nutritional meal."

Tony deactivated his suit and headed back to the window. Peter couldn't wipe the smile from his face as he curled up and watched Tony lock the window and head to the kitchen. "I had fun," Peter told him. "Thank you."

"It's no problem," Tony replied as he looked through the fridge. He turned to Peter, who looked adorably windswept. Why did that make his heart flutter???

"What can I make you?" He asked the younger man, trying to push away the thoughts in his head.

"Uh… maybe just cereal? I still can't move my arms too much." Peter was glowing.

"No, I'm cooking for you." Tony smiled, "I  _ can  _ cook you know " 

"Whatever you want to make then!" Peter told him with a happy tone, "I'll be more than happy with whatever you make."

Tony nodded and got to work. Peter sat in the chair and just watched him. He watched Tony as he danced around the kitchen, chopping and frying things. It was so weird and so domestic. He loved it.

"Did you ever cook for Pepper?" Peter found himself asking. 

Tony looked up at him as he prepared the food, smiling. "No," he told him, "We went out a lot. And she liked to cook more than I did. She had me on this vegan diet thing." He explained as he carried on cooking.

"Not  _ so _ bad, could be worse." Peter leaned against the pillow. 

Tony shook his head, "No, not too bad. But I did miss the feeling of being full, I used to love me a good steak, but," He shrugged. "Oh well." 

"Do you ever miss her?" Peter questioned. 

Tony made a noise as if to say he wasn't expecting such a hard question. He poured the vegetables from the cutting board into the pan as he carried in talking.

"Uh, sometimes. I don't think it's  _ her _ that I miss, because when I see her it doesn't hurt. I don't really feel anything for her anymore. I guess it's the other things I miss."

"You mean sex?" Peter asked as if it was a normal subject to bring up with your mentor.

Tony's eyes shot up to look at him, startled slightly by the question. He paused for a moment before answering. "Amongst other things." He nodded. 

"Like what?"

"Well… like, waking up with someone. Coming home to someone. Being loved. Being in love. That sort of thing, I do kinda miss it sometimes,"

"Especially when your mental health is bad." Peter joined in, "Because then you feel more alone and you wish someone was there to look after you and kiss it better." 

Tony furrowed his eyebrows, "Kid, what the hell? We've  _ never _ been anywhere near as deep a topic as this."

Peter shrugged. "I was talking about me."

The older man mixed the stir fry as he continued the discussion. "Is your mental health bad, buddy?"

Peter pursed his lips and nodded. "Parents are dead, uncles dead, you and I  _ both died  _ and came back to life, and now I'm in pain. Yeah, mental health isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows."

"Not to mention that nightmare of yours." Tony commented as he grabbed two plates from the cupboard. 

"Mmm." Peter agreed nodding, letting his eyes fall to the floor in front of him. 

Minutes later, the older man came over and sat on the coffee table before passing Peter his food. Peter held it in his lap as he slowly moved his arms to eat it. He winced from the pain and dropped his fork.

"Fuckk," Peter felt like crying, he couldn't even fucking eat. 

"Hey, hey," Tony said in a calming tone, putting his own food down and picking it up for Peter. "I'll help you, here." He smiled as he got some food on the fork, bringing it up to Peter's mouth.

Peter let Tony feed him, and although it was unnatural and would have made him feel like a child with anyone else, it actually made him feel warm and cared for. 

"There," Tony smiled warmly as he finished feeding him, leaning back to pick up his own food. 

"Thank you," Peter swallowed and whispered as he observed the older man eating his lunch. 

"Anytime," Tony winked at him. "So tell me, what's the deal with these nightmares you have?" 

Peter sighed and deflated a little. "They're uhm, constant." He told him. 

"What are they about?" Tony questioned him.

"I don't really want to talk about that right now, it's not a good thing to think about."

"If you're living with me for a month, I need to know so I know how to help you. Is it every night??"

The younger man nodded, looking down. "Every night." He confirmed. "Therapy didn't work."

"Hey, kid." Tony put his finished plate down and leaned over, touching his knee. "If anyone knows about nightmares it's me."

Peter tilted his head, "You get them too?" 

The older man nodded. "All the time. Not every night, but three or four times a week. It's always Afghanistan. Well, there's some other stuff, but it's not important." 

_Losing you was worse than Afghanistan._ **He wanted to say.** _At least I came back stronger, because when you turned to dust, so did any chance of happiness I had._

But he couldn't tell Peter that. No way, no how. If he admitted to that, then he admits to having a heart for a long time. He was Iron Man goddamnit. Sometimes he wished his heart could be made from iron too, so he didn't have to care and feel. 

He tried to live his life by something Sherlock Holmes once said; "Caring is not an advantage." And "I don't have friends." But looking at Peter, he knew that was all wrong. 

Tony had to throw his belief system out the window now, he had to realise that he did care about people. He needed to work on being open, on being caring, even if it was JUST to Peter. And above all he had to figure out why the fuck his heart skipped a beat when the younger man looked into his eyes and smiled. 

After lunch, Peter napped in his room as Tony sat beside him on the bed whilst on his laptop. He wanted the younger man to catch up on some sleep.

"And you'll be here if I have another nightmare?" Peter gazed up at him, so sweet and innocent. 

Tony nodded and looked back at him, "I promise Peter, I'll chase the monsters away."


	4. Realisations

Tony watched over Peter as he slept. He was supposed to be doing work, but instead, he put down the laptop and watched him. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he was growing to care about Peter. How after everything they had both been through, seeing him cuddled up asleep beside him made him feel peaceful. 

Peter was so innocent and sweet, and it was weird that he was the one who was getting Tony to act like this, considering Tony thought himself the opposite. 

Sometimes it didn't feel real, the fact that they were both alive and safe. Well, not that Peter had kept himself that way. The thing that panics him more than anything, something he would never admit, was the fact that he could lose the kid again. And he would rather lose the use of both his legs, than go through the pain of losing him again.

Stark felt strange. Suddenly, it's like this kid wasn't just a kid anymore. It wasn't  _ just _ Peter. Everything about him was more interesting, more endearing. He never let himself really speak to him, or get close to him. Now that they had discussed a few things, Tony was struggling to understand what it was that he was feeling.

Tony lay down beside him, facing him as he stroked his soft, sleeping face. He thought back to when Peter read him like a book, talking about how he was scared to let people in, because people always hurt him. 

That was true. People always left him, hurt him, spent their time trying to destroy him, and it hurt. He tried to build walls around him so it never happened again, but Peter had employed himself as the person to break them down again. 

That's when Tony realised. Peter had the same issue, everyone left him, everyone hurt him, but the difference is that Peter never stopped trying to love and be happy. He was reaching out for Tony, because Tony was all he had. And he was completely oblivious to this fact.

Peter's face turned into a frown as he slept, his brows knitting together. Tony watched as he stroked his face, sensing that a nightmare was coming on. 

Immediately, Tony wrapped his arm around Peter's waist and pulled him against his body tightly, holding him tenderly and as close as possible. Peter curled into his body, breathing heavily, his hands fisting in Tony's shirt.

"Shhh," Tony soothed him, rubbing his back gently. "You're okay,"

Peter started to sleep-talk quietly, sobbing a little into Tony's shirt. "Miss you, Mr. Stark."

Tony didn't know what to say or do, so he just held him close and waited it out. He was probably thinking about that horrid day. That was one of the days that came to Tony in the middle of the night too, but it wasn't his death that hurt him, it was the look on Peter's face as he died.

"My fault you died." Peter sobbed. 

The older man's heart broke right there and then, he gripped Peter and hugged him tight. His eyes threatening to water as he rubbed his back continuously.

"I failed you," Peter's voice cracked. 

Tony couldn't handle it anymore, this was way too much for him to deal with. His own eyes were threatening to spill with tears as he watched the younger man's face reddened and looked utterly miserable. "Peter, Peter you have to wake up now." He shook the younger man slightly. 

After a few seconds, Peter opened his eyes and looked up at Tony, he was worried. "Mr Stark?" His little voice came out, scared and weak. His eyes were red and filled with fear.

Tony sighed in relief that he was finally awake. "Go back to sleep, I've got you. Just remember, I'm alive, I'm here, and I'm never leaving you again." 

Peter breathed in deep, shakily as his eyes shut again. He smiled and burrowed himself back into Tony's body, falling into a nightmare-less sleep. 

Tony watched over him for a while. Cuddling the younger man was really weird. All of this was really weird. But as he held the precious younger man close to him, he let himself melt into it. He was being held so tightly, like Peter needed him, and he loved it. He hadn't been held for a long time.

Not like this anyway, this was caring and sweet, this made him feel warm. Tony closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax, breathing him in. Peter smelled sweet, in fact, he smelled really good. He hated himself for how much he was getting out of this. Before he knew it, he was fast asleep, cuddled into Peter.

They woke up a few hours later. Peter woke up first, noticing that Tony was there for him. He had to admit, he LOVED nurse Tony, it was like a whole new side to him. Peter slowly turned around so Tony was spooning him, and oh god, that was amazing. 

Peter had never even done this with a partner before, and now his ass was pressed against his mentor's crotch. Tony's back was against his, his arm wrapped around him. The younger man played on his phone for a few minutes before holding tightly to Tony's hand, which lay against his stomach.

"Mr. Stark?" Peter spoke, trying to wake him up. 

"It's time to get dinner,"

Tony groaned, "Nooooo." He pulled Peter against him tighter, curling into him. " 'm comfy."

The younger man giggled, "I've ordered us food, it'll be here soon. You've got to carry me through to the living room and I'm picking a movie for us to watch."

Eventually, after ten minutes of coaxing, Tony begrudgingly got up and carried Peter through. He got the coffee table ready for food as Peter put some comedy film up on the big screen. 

It was so weird for both of them how comfortable it was. In fact, Peter and Tony just settled into a routine. Anytime Peter had a nightmare, Tony would run through and wake him up, soothing him back to sleep before returning to bed. They would eat together and watch movies, sometimes even go flying. They were really enjoying the time they had together. 

It made their relationship grow a lot closer, although they only spoke about superficial things, they seemed to grow a greater appreciation for each other. Tony continued to bond with him, bath him when he needed it. The feelings that Tony had kept growing, and he hated himself for it. Because inside, deep down inside, he knew what was happening, and he didn't want it to. But now he had to come to terms with it, when he realised that this wasn't going to last forever.

Here we are a week later, and Peter's body was healing pretty well. He still had cuts and bruises everywhere, but now he could walk some distances.

Tony took himself for a trip down to the lab to collect his laptop, and when he came back, Peter was waiting for him with a blanket wrapped around him. "The stars are out." 

Tony smiled, "They are. Do you want to go flying?" 

Peter shook his head. "I was thinking, maybe, we could go onto the roof? Watch the stars?"

The older man wanted that way more than he would ever admit. He pretended to not be interested, but when he saw those pleading eyes of the cutest man alive, sparkling at him, he had to say yes. 

"Come on then," he smiled warmly, walking towards him.

Peter shined. Tony helped him up to the roof, his arm around his waist, stopping to grab a premade basket that Peter had put together. When they got up there, they lay down on the blankets, inches away from each other. 

"What's in the basket?" Tony smiled as he lay down and watched the stars. Peter shuffled closer to him, nudging his arm. 

"Move your arm please," 

"Huh?" Tony looked down and raised his arm, and before he knew it, Peter was snuggled into his chest. "Oh, okay."

"Chocolate, crackers, fruit, chips, random things." Peter told him. "That's what's in there. In case we get hungry." 

Tony smiled, his arms fell around Peter as they cuddled under the stars. "Peter, this is so strange."

Peter nodded. "I agree. I know that you're not into friendships, Mr. Stark, and I get that. But I like to think that I'm breaking you down."

Tony chuckled, "Against my will!" He exclaimed. "I could have just as easily left you in a room to get better on your own."

"But you didn't." Peter said quietly, "You chose to be here for me. Why?"

Tony sighed heavily, waiting a few seconds before speaking. "I uh… I know how much you look up to me… and, I guess. Pete, you were so hurt in the hospital, and you don't have anyone here. Whether we like it or not, I'm here to protect you."

Peter smiled, snuggling into him. "You didn't have to. You could have left me there."

Tony shook his head, "No, no I couldn't. Your parents aren't here, your uncle isn't here, Happy and May are a million miles away. It's not like I don't have the room since Pepper left, and you've already lost me once." Tony felt like crying just thinking about how he would feel or cope in Peter's position. 

"I don't know how you do it." He confessed. 

Peter looked up at him, moving from his arms to open the basket and pull out a chocolate bar. "What do you mean? You've been through worse."

Tony watched him worriedly, sitting up. He reached over to check what was in the basket as Peter sat in front of him. "Not when I was as young as you. You've lost everyone. You've died, you watched  _ me  _ die. I can't…" a lump formed in Tony's throat. He tried to breathe before he carried on.

"You're so young and happy," he watched as Peter ate his chocolate bar. "And you went into battle, alone, got hurt, and you're still smiling. If I were you, kiddo. I'd be long gone."

Peter looked up at him with a frown. "I don't like thinking about you going dark."

Tony's heart pounded as he tried not to let it show. Peter was really something special. He knew from the tone of his voice, that he meant it. "It happens though. I have self destructive tendencies, or at least that's what my ex wife used to yell at me."

Peter scoffed. "Yeah you do, but fuck her for making you feel bad for it instead of helping you." 

The older man watched Peter's face. "Why do you look up to me, kid? We are polar opposites."

Peter shook his head, "We really aren't."

Tony put his hand up to shush him. "We  _ are. _ I am old, I screw things up. I'm arrogant and negative, condescending, rude, and extremely materialistic. And  _ you _ are young, happy, sweet, kind, caring, equal, loving and supportive."

Peter hid his face as he lay back down, he looked as though he was trying to hide his blush. "When you put it that way. But try seeing it my way." 

Tony listened intently, getting comfortable in the blanket again, but instead of watching the stars, he watched the brightest thing he could see; Peter.

"We are both broken, without parents, without a proper family. Now I'll never be as smart as you, but our minds are a lot alike. And at the end of the day, we just want to be loved." Peter's sweet voice explained itself.

Tony turned on his front as he grabbed an orange from the basket and began to peel it. "What makes you think I want to be loved?" 

Peter shrugged. "I just know you. You're nicer when you're with someone. Although, Pepper was horrible in the end." 

"I thought you liked her?" Tony questioned. 

The younger man shook his head, "No. Not since I heard that fight between you both. Do you remember?"

Tony was drawing a blank, there were so many fights in the end. Pepper was just the worst, she changed and became this monster, who didn't care about Tony's mental health at all. He shook his head, trying to focus on his orange as he tried to peel it all in one piece. 

"Well," Peter whispered. "I was walking into the lab to get my suit, and you and Pepper were approaching, yelling at each other. I ducked behind one of the benches. When you entered, she was telling you that you don't care about anyone or anything."

Tony nodded, of course he remembered that. 

Peter's voice went irritated as he continued to speak, rolling onto his stomach too. "And she called you names, she told you that you'll never be anywhere without her. Pepper told you, and I remember this word for word that; "The world was better off without you." 

As Tony's heart hurt at that memory, he watched Peter and realised that it hurt him just as much, if not more. "Pete, you okay?"

Peter wiped his eyes. "I hate her." He said through gritted teeth. "So much." He turned to look at Tony with a hurt expression and eyes turning red. "Because you DO care about people, you care about  _ everyone  _ else over yourself! Even if you don't know them! And you're NOT a cunt, like she said. You don't need her to be worth something, you are worth EVERYTHING!" A tear fell down his cheek as he began to shake with anger. "The whole world was a mess without you, Mr. Stark. I was a mess without you. And I'd rather be right here with you, than take away all the bad things that had ever happened to me."

There it was. Peter had finally opened up as much as his happy little spider soul would let him, and he kept headbutting that brick wall around Tony until it crumbled, and now, the older man had no idea how many bricks he had left. 

"Come here," Tony replied, sitting up and opening his arms. "You need a hug," 

Peter was over there within a second, cuddling into the older man's arms. He sobbed sweetly into Tony's chest as the older man hugged him.

"I care about you too," Tony whispered. They sat like that for a while, as Peter calmed down, Tony started to hope that somehow maybe, his feelings might just be reciprocated.

"This sucks, I'm gonna have to go home soon." Peter wiped his eyes and sat up. "I don't want to go home."

Tony's heart stopped, he completely forgot that Peter didn't live with him. He was going to be taken away from him, and Tony was going to be all alone again. Suddenly he felt dark, knowing that he was just going to be him again. 

_ I don't want you to go home either. _ He thought. Tony let his fingers reach out and gently move the brown girls from Peter's face, looking at him with sadness. 

That's the moment Tony realised he was falling for the damned man. He sat back and looked up at the sky, recoiling from the touch. 

"As long as you need a place, you have here." Tony spoke as he brought his knees up and he cuddled into them, "You always have here."   
  



	5. My Person

Peter didn't sleep all night that night, instead he worried about what would happen as soon as he was better. Would Tony send him back to his flat until May and Happy were home?? The only thing going through his mind was that he was really starting to love the life he had right now, being close to his mentor in such a sweet way. Tony was, and always will be, his most treasured human being. 

He wanted to stay there, and stay there as long as Tony would let him. Every night he was too scared to sleep, worried that the horrible memories would come crashing down on him as they always did. When Peter was curled up next to Tony, the nightmares faded, but when he was alone it was horrible. 

He wondered how angry Tony would be if he snuck into his bedroom. Before Peter could change his mind, he swung his legs over the bed and stood up, tip-toeing through the room and into the hallway. He was wearing a large shirt with a pair of boxers. Slowly, Peter opened the door to Tony's bedroom, hearing it creak softly. 

As he walked in, he saw Tony lying in bed. The duvet was draped over him as he slept on his side, face digging into the pillow. He looked so handsome. Peter took this time to peer around his room. 

Tony's room was huge, and filled with cool gadgets. Peter noticed how every shelf was filled up with books and empty picture frames, ones that used to house photographs of Pepper, but now held nothing. It was actually kind of sad and Peter took pity on him. 

The younger man walked over to the bed and slid into it, inching closer to his mentor, inching his back towards Tony's chest and moving his arm around him. He managed to do it without getting a startled reaction from the older man. Peter snuggled into him and closed his eyes, smelling the older man around him. God he felt safe.

"Couldn't sleep, huh?" Tony's voice spoke softly into the back of Peter's neck. Peter almost jumped, but instead he grasped Tony's arm and kept it around him.

"No," Peter whispered. "I sleep better with you here."

Tony smiled, pulling him closer. "Me too. I think we should talk about these dreams, don't you?"

"Do we have to?" 

"Uh… yes. We do." Tony confirmed, "Because you talk during an episode, and you always say my name."

Peter closed his eyes, "And if I pretend I'm asleep?" He asked.

"I'll keep waking you. Come on, I'll talk about mine too." 

Peter took a few minutes to think about it. This was yet another way he could get closer to the older man. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad? I mean, they are going through the same things. 

"Okay," Peter whispered. "I'll talk about it. But you need to know, I've never told anyone about it before."

Tony sighed and gave him a squeeze of comfort. "I'm honoured it's me, do you wanna talk like this or do you want to do it face to face."

Peter was kind of embarrassed about how he wanted to do this, he took a deep breath before he answered. "Uh… can we do it like… like we do in the bath?"

"Of course, up you get." Tony spoke as he sat up, setting the pillows up behind him and sitting up against them. Peter crawled up and between his legs, sitting the other way, his back to Tony's chest again. 

"Comfortable?" Tony asked, wrapping his arms around Peters. He placed his head on Peter's shoulder next to his neck.

Peter nodded, settling down into his warmth. He watched as their legs sat together, it was actually really cute. He kept getting this weird feeling whenever the older man touched him, and it confused him. "Very. So uh, what do you want to know?"

"What do you see when you have a nightmare? Hm?" Tony asked him softly.

Peter's fingers fiddled with the duvet as the older man pulled it over their legs. "Uh. You."

"Me?" The older man questioned, debating whether to put his hand over Peter's to let him know he was safe.

"Yes." His voice broke. "When you… when you died. I couldn't stop it. And you were just sitting there, dying in front of my eyes." Peter clenched his eyes shut, trying not to cry again.

The older man could feel his soul getting crushed. Of course, that was what he expected, but actually getting told that he was right, that was hard to hear. Every night the poor boy was reminded of that terrible day, and it was haunting him, making him miserable, making him too frightened to sleep. Tony held him close, feeling the younger man's warm body press back against him. All he could smell was Peter, and he closed his eyes as he put his face against the other man's hair. He breathed in deeply. 

"Is it always me?" He whispered. 

Peter nodded. "Always you. That is the only memory I can't deal with, everything else, therapy has worked or I've learned to deal with." He said in a broken voice, trying not to sob again. He hated how much he sobbed in front of Tony lately. 

Tony let himself sit in silence for a few moments, what he wanted most was to stop this growing feeling inside him. He let himself melt into cuddling Peter, not knowing how long this would last. He continued to breathe him in. It panicked him a little to realise he was falling for a much younger person, and that younger person wasn't just  _ anyone.  _ It was a man, which Tony had NEVER been into before. And even then… it wasn't just a man. It was Peter fucking Parker. 

"Say something." Peter whispered. "You've gone quiet."

"Sorry," Tony replied, rubbing his arm. "It's just a lot to think about." He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry kiddo, I wish I could make it better."

Peter smiled, "You do." 

"Yeah? How?" 

Peter shrugged. "I don't want to tell you, you'll think I'm weird."

Tony chuckled against him, "Why would I think that? Come on, boost my ego."

Peter giggled before leaning his head back against Tony's chest. "Well. I don't get them when you're there, you know, with your arms around me. They kind of, stay away." 

The internal monologue inside Tony's brain was going insane. His heart felt like it was racing as his stomach filled up with that nervous feeling you get with your first crush. 

_Well then you'd better stay in these arms forever._ **He wanted to say.** _And I'll keep them away forever._

But he couldn't ask Peter to stay. He was probably straight, and NOT into gross old men, and was definitely NOT looking for forever. Every time that came into his head, he squeezed Peter tighter to remind himself he had right here and now.

"I'm glad I can help you." He told him. "Since you've been around I haven't had one." 

Peter gaped, "Not one?" 

Tony shook his head. "Nope, which is really weird. But apparently we help each other."

Peter smiled sweetly, closing his eyes and enjoying being in the other man's arms. "Mr. Stark… Tony even…"

"Yes?" 

"What are your nightmares about?" 

Tony sighed heavily, squeezing his eyes closed as he prepared himself to talk. "I kinda lied before… when I said it was Afghanistan."

"Why did you lie?" Peter asked him.

"I didn't want to make you feel bad, because I know you would." Tony spoke softly and slowly, "It's hard to talk about… it's you, Peter."

Peter moved, pulling away from Tony and turning around to look at him. "Me? What did I ever do that was so bad?"

Tony's saddened hazel eyes looked down at his hands, missing the body heat against him. "You cried. When I died… your face was one of the most miserable things I had ever seen."

Peter gulped and nodded, sitting cross legged as he watched Tony's hands too. "What was the other one?"

Tony's hands shot up to his face and covered it, willing himself to not get emotional. "That… when… kid." He broke as he let his hands fall beside him. He looked Peter in the eyes with tears forming in his own. "You turning to dust. That's what I have nightmares about. You're fucking helpless sad face as you were taken away from me and I couldn't STOP IT." Tears fell down his face as he shook, tilting his head and wiping his cheek. 

Peter didn't say anything, he moved around to Tony's side and led him to lie down, cuddling into him, but this time, face to face. Tony still sobbed as Peter pulled the cover over them. 

"It's okay," Peter whispered, putting his arms around the older man, and feeling Tony's hands fist in his shirt as he cried. "I'm alive."

Tony nodded. "Pete… promise me," 

"Anything." He said in hushed tones, trying to calm the older man down. It was such a strange turn of events for his mentor to break down in front of him, but they had gotten really close lately, and it was sort of a turning point for Tony.

"Don't  _ ever _ ," his voice cracked. "Go into a battle like that again."

Peter pulled back, "Were you scared Mr. Stark?' He looked over Tony's sad face with a confused expression. 

Tony closed his eyes, waiting a few moments before connecting their eyesights again. "Of course I was, Peter. If you die again, so do I. You need to know that."

Maybe it was what Tony said, or how he said it, but Peter broke down into hysterics, crying his eyes out and shaking as if he had never cried so hard before. That was it, the one thing that could totally tear him down. 

Tony panicked, fuck this was an awful night. "Peter, Pete, it's okay, I'm here." Tony cuddled him as tight as he could. "I'm here, please stop crying, please." 

Peter sobbed into him, both of them upset and shaking. "We are both alive, I promise, it's gonna be okay."

After ten minutes of trying to calm each other down, the sobbing subsided a little. Tony knew that sleeping wasn't on the schedule for them tonight. He looked over at the clock, and then back to Peter.

"Come on kid, let's get some late night dessert take out and cuddle up on the couch? Hm?"

Peter smiled, tears still clinging to his cheeks. "Sounds perfect."

So Peter and Tony made their way into the lounge with all their pillows and duvets, and they ordered midnight cheesecake whilst the tv played reruns of an old sitcom. As they sat and stuffed themselves with cake, they managed to make themselves feel better.

"I'm glad we are close now," Peter admitted. "I've literally lost everyone, having you wanting to stick around means the world to me.  _ You _ mean the world to me."

Tony looked over at him, his heart going insane. Peter was snuggled up beside him, comfy and happy, dishing down his second helping of strawberry cheesecake. 

"You mean the world to me too." Tony found himself replying, dropping his arm around Peter and pulling him closer. "You really do."

"I have a sort of… question." Peter told him, not looking his way. Instead his eyes were stuck on the screen, the laugh track filling up their silences.

"A question? Should I be scared?" Tony raised an eyebrow and chuckled. 

Peter shook his head. "This is important to me, so I need you to really pay attention, and think about it. I don't need an answer straight away, I need you to want to."

That really set of Tony's nerves, he HATED set-ups like that, now his mind was going through a billion scenarios! 

_ What could it be? Does he want set up with Nat? Does he want a ton of money? Does he want a murder-suicide pact?  _

"Please just ask me," Tony blurted out, "I'm panicking here."

"Well… have you ever heard of Grey's Anatomy?" Peter asked him, finishing off his cake and setting the bowl on the coffee table. 

"Uh… no? Should I be aware of this?"

"Not really. It's a TV show, anyway, that's not the point. The point is that the main character has this best friend, and they're each other's 'person', which is stronger than best friends or romantic relationships, it's like… they are the most important person to each other, through everything."

Tony tried to follow him, nodding along and thinking it through. This 'Person' idea was actually really cute, it was like a promise to always be there.

"Okay, sort of like platonic soulmates or something?" Tony questioned.

"I guess, I like to think it's stronger than that." Peter said quietly, "But uhm…" suddenly the younger man got all shy, blushing as he toyed with a string that was coming off of the duvet. 

"I was uh wondering… maybe… and you totally don't have to… but… well… would you like to be my person?" Peter immediately covered his face in embarrassment, he was sure Tony was going to laugh at him and say no. 

A few seconds passed before Peter felt the older man breathe again and make a sound. Tony's hands removed Peter's from his face and made him look at him. 

Instead of the look of horror that Peter expected, he was met with a soft and comforting expression. 

"Peter." Tony smiled, licking his lips. "I would be honoured to be your person. If you would be mine as well." He raised his eyebrows. 

Peter broke out in a huge grin and nodded, "Really?! Yes!" Peter exclaimed, "You're my person!?"

Tony chuckled and nodded. "And you're mine."


	6. Panic

Although things were looking up for them, things were also looking down. Peter was getting better which meant that he would be fine to go home soon, which was both good and bad. He really didn't want to go home! Yeah, he loved May and Happy, and their new parent dynamic, but living with Tony was a dream come true, and being close to him made him glow. He never felt more safe in his entire life.

Unfortunately in the morning, Tony got a phone call from someone in his offices, begging him to come into a meeting because Pepper hadn't turned up today and it was an important meeting, one that couldn't be rescheduled. He felt utterly terrible about leaving Peter behind, but Peter assured him that everything would be fine, it would only be two hours.

When the older man left, he stopped by Peter's room and said goodbye, realising that the room wasn't really Peter-fied yet. The younger man was sitting up in bed with his laptop in front of him.

"That's me off," he smiled at Peter. "Say hi to May and Happy for me, I shouldn't be too long. Call if you need me."

Peter smiled back at him, "Of course. Get home safely." 

Okay, so that was the cutest fucking thing anyone had ever said to him and that confirms it. Tony had definitely developed a huge crush on him. His heart skipped a beat as the younger man's eyes sparkled, smiling up at him.

"I will, I'm gonna swing by your place and get more of your things. We'll make this place into your bedroom."

Peter looked around it and then back to the older man, "But I won't be here for much longer."

Tony shrugged, "Yeah, but you'll come back sometimes right? Like if you're away working in the lab all night? Hopefully? You don't have to… it's just a thought. Ignore it." Tony cursed himself, he felt ridiculous. 

The younger man beamed back at him, "I'd love that! I can't wait! Thank you!" 

Tony winked at him and checked his watch. "Right, I'll see you soon. Bye!"

"Byee!!" Peter shouted after him as he walked out the room. 

As Tony left, Peter skyped his parents. It was so great to see them and hear their voices again. Happy was nearly all better from whatever virus he had apparently contracted, and May was all tanned and had bought herself an entire new wardrobe. They were so happy to see how well Peter was doing, and how much time and effort Tony was putting into him.

"And you've been eating okay?" May asked, she'd been asking every question she could think of. She was all tanned and dressed up, her face lit up as soon as she saw Peter through the camera, sitting up and looking healthy.

"Yes, mom." Peter smiled, "Tony's been cooking for me every day, though we have had a few take outs."

"That sounds good! And have you been outside much?" 

"Well, sometimes we sit up on the roof, Tony's unsure about me going out properly until I can prove I can handle myself without him."

May nodded, "Good man,"

Happy sat down beside her and waved at him, "Hey Pete! How are you doing?"

"Better," Peter told him, "What about you?"

"Still got the sickness but the doctor said within a week I'll be fine. How's Tony been?"

Peter put his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands, grinning, "Actually fantastic. We are on a first name basis now… and he's been amazing."

"Amazing? How so?" May asked him.

"He uh… he's taken me flying. And he cooks for me… and he… uh, he bathed me when I couldn't move -"

Happy held up his hand, "Wait… wait, Tony bathed you?" 

Peter blushed and nodded, "Uh, yeah. He's really been looking after me." He explained, "He said he cares about me. I think I'm finally a part of his life."

Happy and May looked at each other with a smile and then back to the camera. 

"We bought you presents for when we come back in two weeks!" May told him.

"IF we come back," Happy commented, holding his stomach, "God, I'll be back in 5 hours." He ran off camera towards the bathroom as May watched him. 

She looked back to the camera, "Don't mind him, he's still unwell. Anyway, what would Mr. Stark like as a present?"

"A present?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, for looking after you, we should get him something, to say thank you." May explained.

Peter thought for a moment, that was a great idea! He could go out and get Tony something cute to say thank you, and it would brighten his day! It means he could help Tony back! But what do you get a man who has everything? Tony had all the money in the world!

But maybe something special from Peter, even if it was small, would be more meaningful because it was sentimental? He knew he had a good $50 in his account. That was the best idea. 

"I'll get back to you, I have to go, but we'll call again soon!" Peter smiled, "Love you mom."

May blew him a kiss, "Love you too pickle, speak soon!"

As soon as the phone call was over, Peter got dressed as fast as he could and left a note in case Tony got home before he did. He was so excited, he had no idea what it was going to be, but it was going to be special. 

He was kinda terrified about going outside, he hadn't been outside since he was hurt. Peter knew he probably shouldn't go out his first time alone and so far away from Tony's place, but he felt inside that he could do it. 

He had NO idea what a bad idea it was.

Peter walked out of the building, and as soon as the wind hit his face, he got a horrible feeling inside him. As he walked down the streets, with a forced confidence, he tried his best not to panic, his head was spinning and going dizzy as he slowly walked past a line of shops. 

A group of 30 year old men were walking towards him, all wearing big jackets and hoodies. For some reason, they reminded Peter of the thugs he got into a battle with. 

Automatically he got a flashback to the night he ended up in hospital, his heart started to race as his body heat rose. Shaking slightly, he didn't know what to do, he looked both ways and backed up, reaching for the first door he could find to escape. 

He ended up heading into a shop, jumping in and shutting the door behind him, breathing heavily as he clasped his heart, closing his eyes.

"Are you okay, Sir?" A shop assistant asked him, startling him. 

Peter looked up, worriedly, "Uh sure." He bit down on his lip and looked around, realising he was in a stationary shop.

"Can I help you look for something?" She asked him in a calming voice, realising he probably had some sort of anxiety.

Peter breathed for a few moments, looking to the window and then to the lady. "Uh yes, actually. I need a gift,"

She nodded, "Price range? Who's it for?"

The man walked further towards her and spoke nervously. "Well, uh, it's for someone really special. I don't have a lot of money, but he needs to know how much I care about him."

The lady nodded, "Understood," she smiled. "My name is Jane, and I can tell you're not used to doing this, is this your first present for  _ him. _ "

Peter nodded, blushing heavily. Automatically Jane knew what to do. "Come on then, let's have a look around, and you can even use my discount."

\---

After exiting the shop, he had to try and get back to the penthouse without having a panic attack. He turned to look at the path, which was filled with people! Peter stayed as close to the walls as possible, trying to not make eye contact with anyone. He had never had this horrible feeling before, like there was a weight on his chest, and that everyone around him could be looking, judging, planning to get him. 

The man looked up and realised there was a lady with a pram coming straight for him, so he moved out the way out of his inner politeness, but now he had positioned himself in front of hoards of people. He jumped to the side, off the curb for a moment before attempting to get back on, but the next thing he knew, was that a man was screaming at him.

"GET OFF THE BIKE LANE!" Was the last thing he heard before a metal bike crashed straight into him, knocking him to the ground as he hit his face on the curb. The man on the bike went flying, and hit the ground, but since he was wearing protective gear, that man was fine. 

Peter shakily tried to get up, but the moment he did, he got knocked down by a group of teenages pushing past him. He hit his head, and didn't remember much after that. Peter was terrified, and sore, and as people gathered around him to see if he was okay, the only thing he could say was "Stark." 

\---

When he woke up, he was in his bed at the penthouse. Apparently someone took Peter's phone and called 'Mr. Stark' to come and get him. Tony came to his rescue within minutes. 

His head was killing him and his neck was equally as sore. It didn't help that his legs were covered in bruises from where the bike hit, and his arms were in pain too. He scrunched up his face as he tried to move, noticing from the scent where he was. 

THANK GOD it wasn't the hospital again.

As he opened his eyes, he noticed that Tony was there too, sitting on a chair, facing him. He had fallen asleep as he was watching over him. Tony had his arms crossed over his chest as his head leaned forward, snoring softly. Peter watched him for a minute, thinking about how much he cared about him. Tony really was so important to him.

_ Shit! Where's the gift?! _

Peter looked around, scared that he had lost the present he bought specially, but he was relieved when he saw the bag sitting on the floor next to his coat. He settled back down, wincing at the pain. 

"Mr. Stark?" Peter spoke, trying to rouse him from his sleep. "Tony? I'm awake."

Tony's face twitched as he slowly woke up, rubbing his eyes of sleep before he realised where he was. His gaze fell upon Peter, and gave an expression that was really hard to read. It changed from five different emotions in a heartbeat.

Relief. Guilt. Pain. Anger. Pity. 

"Kid," Tony spoke, clearing his throat and getting up. "What the fuck were you thinking?" He kneeled down on the floor next to the bed, trying to keep a straight face instead of how he was truly feeling.

"I needed to get something," he spoke in a small voice. 

"What?! I have all the food and clothes you need here! Christ, Peter," Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked irritated. "Do you know what could have happened?! It's like you didn't even think about your safety!"

Peter's eyes welled up as he nodded, "I'm sorry." He whispered, "It… it was important."

Tony glared at him, "More important than your safety? More important than keeping yourself alive? Jesus, Peter I was so scared when I got that phone call!" He wasn't shouting, but he wasn't exactly talking either.

Peter licked his lips, "I'm so sorry, please forgive me," his voice broke as he looked Tony in the eyes. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Scare me? Peter, I was fucking frightened." Tony reached up and took his hand. "Don't do that again, let me be there next time."

Peter nodded, "I promise. I don't like it when you're angry at me."

Tony half smiled at him, pity in his face. "It's okay, we're okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." The older man confirmed.

Peter nodded and lay for a moment before he spoke up again. "Tony? Something weird happened when I was outside." 

The older man looked worried again, "What? Did someone say something to you?"

Peter shook his head, "I uh… I was getting something, but then it went strange, and my chest hurt." The younger man tried to explain.

Tony raised an eyebrow, not liking what he was hearing. "Strange? Why strange? Describe it to me?"

Peter closed his eyes, "Like my chest was heavy, and I was panicking, and felt sick, and everything terrified me." He explained, wincing as he dried to move his arm to scratch his face. 

Tony sighed, holding Peter's hand in both of his, patting it softly. "Kid, that's anxiety, you may have had an anxiety attack." He said in a calming tone, he could tell that Peter was worried just hearing those words.

"You're in luck Pete, because I happen to be an expert at handling anxiety. I've got you," he comforted him in the most soothing tone he had.

"Are you not… mad at me?" Peter whispered. 

Tony nodded, "I am, but I promised I'd yell at you when you're better. I'm not going to lecture you while you're unable to move." 

Peter half smiled, closing his eyes. "Thank you, Tony. I appreciate it."

"But we are going to have a discussion about this. Now, what was so important to put your life on the line?" Tony tried to lighten the mood, smiling as he sat up on the side of the bed. "Were you able to get it?"

Peter nodded, "Yes, but uh, can we talk about it over dinner?"

Tony smiled warmly, "Of course. I did manage to pack a lot of your stuff, so uh, maybe we could make this room more… you? I bought a bookcase and a chest of drawers which are being delivered tomorrow, maybe we can decorate this place?"

The younger man couldn't be more excited. 

However, Tony was having a horrible day. His anxiety was going through the roof, and he had to fight off his own fucking panic attack when he got the phone call about Peter. I mean, of course he was angry! Who wouldn't be?? But there was no way that yelling at Peter was going to help.

After helping Peter to the couch, having to carry him again, which he really did not mind AT ALL, he made them dinner and sat on the sofa eating their food. 

"Okay," Peter said, putting his now empty plate on the table, "I want to tell you what I bought."

Tony smiled, turning in his seat and looking at him. "I'm all ears."

Peter paused for a second, before reaching onto his covers and pulling out the bag, which luckily was not see-through. He held it in his hands and tried to think of the right words. 

"I'm not rich," he blurted out. "I don't have a lot of money… it's hard to see how this will mean anything, but I uh, spent the rest of my money on this." Peter started off, eyes flicking from the bag and nervously up to the older man. 

Tony's smile had faded slightly, his eyes fixed on Peter's, frowning slightly. "Go on,"

Peter took a deep breath in. He talked fast as he tried to get it all out. "Okay, so I wanted to do something special for you, and I don't know if you're gonna like it, but it was super hard for me to get and I really like it, and you mean a lot to me so uh, so this is for you."

He handed it over to Tony, who looked completely touched and heartbroken at the same time. "You… you spent all your money on me?"

Peter shrugged, "It's not much. It's all I can afford, you don't even have to pretend you like it." He chewed his bottom lip as he waited for his mentor to open it. 

The older man could feel every single nerve in his body turn on, like he was feeling with every part of him. He was genuinely shocked that Peter put that much thought into him, putting himself in danger just to get him a present. He was really affected by how much love he felt right now, god yes, it was love. 

That was the moment right fucking there, looking into Peter's eyes, holding the present. He didn't even need to know what it was, but he loved it. He loved the present, and he loved Peter.

He was  _ in love  _ with Peter. Fuck.

"Well, are you gonna open it?" Peter whispered.

Tony grinned and nodded, "Of course, I just want to say thank you. Pepper never bought me presents, she said I didn't deserve them. So this… this means a lot to me."

Peter's face was in a frown, "Fuck her. You deserve the world."

The older man felt a rush of love flow through him as he opened the bag, pulling out the gift from inside. As he held it in his hands, he marveled. It was a thick, real-leather bound journal, with a golden inscription on the front. 

Peter nervously bit at his nails as the older man let his fingers trace the lettering. Tony didn't know what to say, he adored it. The inscription read;

_ 'Dear Tony Stark,  _

_ Forever my person, _

_ Love Peter Parker.' _

He couldn't keep his eyes off of it, the paper was the highest quality. He would be too scared to even write in it in case he ruined it. Tony held it close to his chest and looked over at Peter. 

"I don't know what to say, I love this more than anything. This is the best gift I've ever been given."

Peter blushed, smiling his adorable little smile. "Even better that the 'Tony Stark has a heart' thing?" 

The older man nodded, "Even better than that, this is my favourite thing ever. I love it. Thank you," he smiled, settling the book on the table. "Now come here so I can hug you,"

Peter snuggled into him. After a while, they headed back into Tony's bedroom and fell asleep in each other's arms, a nightmare-less dream for the both of them, and love growing in Tony's hollowed heart.


	7. The Bitch That Came To Dinner

The next morning, Tony got them both up and dressed pretty early. The delivery came at ten, so he wanted to spend the morning with the younger man, fixing up his room. Obviously, he wasn't going to let Peter physically exert himself, but they could do it together in spirit.

Peter was sitting on the floor in among pillows and covers, looking at the instructions as Tony put together the bookcase.

"That doesn't go there," Peter pointed over at the nail he was using.

"Kid, I built the Iron Man suit, I can build a bookcase." Tony smiled, screwing it in. 

"You can do anything," Peter whispered as he continued to read over the instructions. Tony looked over at him, he wasn't sure whether he was supposed to hear that or not, but he did. He felt a blush creep over him as he watched the younger man enjoy himself over the leaflet.

"You know," Tony started as he put more pieces together. "I've never had a friend like you." He added the last shelf, standing up and marveling at his work.

"That makes me sad," Peter told him, "You deserve good friends. Was Pepper just the worst person ever?"

Tony nodded, looking around the room. "Oh yeah, she used to not let me eat because I came back from the lab too late."

Peter frowned, he was so angry, his face reddened as he furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest. He had to take a few breaths in to try and calm down.

"Pete?" Tony kneeled down, "You okay?"

"Yeah. I just need a second to calm down." Peter huffed, balling his hands into fists. "Where are we gonna put the bookcase?" He wasn't actually interested right now, but he wanted to divert Tony's attention from his anger. 

The older man stood up and pushed it against the wall, "That looks pretty good, if I don't say so myself. I can start putting your books on there - oh wait!" Tony had an idea and left the room, "Wait right here!"

Peter wanted to smile at the older man, he loved how goofy and domestic he could be. But he couldn't shake the fucking anger inside of him. That bitch. That ridiculous, horrible, piece of shit bitch. 

When Tony returned with a grin on his face and a box in his hands, he noticed how different Peter seemed. He got down on his knees, putting his box to the side. 

"Wanna talk about it?"

Peter scoffed. "I'm just so angry." 

Tony nodded, "I get it. Let's discuss it, okay?" He smiled and took one of Peter's hands in his.

Peter nodded in reply.

"I was in a relationship with Pepper for a long time, and she was my wife. And when we couldn't conceive, she blamed me, and got mean. She started being abusive,"

Peter's eyes widened, "Did she  _ hit you? _ "

Tony clenched his jaw and nodded. "Don't tell anyone, kid. This is between you and me. No one else knows. But yeah, it happened once or twice. She was mainly emotionally abusive, manipulative even. It was horrible, and it sucked."

Peter's eyes welled up and his chin began to shake, trying his best not to cry. Tony touched his sweet little face and stroked his cheek. 

"I'm out of it now. I'm happy, I'm safe. I'm alive. And I'm here with you," he spoke softly.

Peter took his hand and held it tightly. "I'll never treat you like that." He spoke quietly. "You didn't deserve that," he broke down, "Why didn't I see it? Why… why couldn't I help?"

Tony looked practically devastated, like his heart had just shattered. He had never in his life, known that someone could care THIS much about his well-being. "I didn't want you to know. Ever."

Peter looked up at him, "But why? Why wouldn't you let me help you?"

Tony sighed and slumped, sitting down completely and looking down at the carpet. "Honestly? I didn't want  _ you _ to think I was weak. I thought I was the one person who you could look up to, and I uh, didn't want to let you down."

Peter shook his head, "Tony. You have never let me down, and you  _ never _ will. You're not weak, you're amazing." He moved forward and touched Tony's face gently, leaning in and placing his lips softly on Tony's cheek, lingering and giving him a gentle kiss. 

He pulled back and sat back down, "Show me what you brought."

Tony's eyes were closed as he took a moment to himself. His whole body tingled with warmth. When he opened his eyes, he smiled warmly and picked up the box, bringing it between them.

"I went around my room, and the house, and found stuff that I have two of. For example, my bedside tables, I don't need two lamps, because I only use one side. So, you can have the other." Tony explained as he pulled it out of the box and set it aside.

Peter gaped, "Tony, this is so nice, you don't have to give me your stuff."

"No, I want to. Also, here is a phone we can hook-up in here, it has its own line, so we can put that there too - oh, and this!" Tony grinned as he pulled something else out of the box. 

Peter watched Tony's face. The older man was such a warm and caring energy, and this was the first time where he was close enough to really admire how good looking he was. He noticed how the lines at the side of his eyes moved when he smiled, and that smile was such a lovely thing to look at. It always made him feel better. 

Tony held up a picture frame, with a picture of both of them in it. "We can put this up, and then I'll make you a desk which you can have in here, uh, and a tv if you want."

Peter smiled widely, "You keep treating me like this and I'll never want to leave."

_ That's the plan. _ Tony thought, standing up and putting the picture frame above the bookcase. 

"I can get you new bed sheets as well, is the bed comfy enough? Because if you need a new mattress -"

"Tony, calm down, one thing at a time. Let's just fill up the bookcase, yeah?"

Tony nodded, "Uh, sure."

After lunch, Peter was sorting out the last of his things, placing some of his Star Wars figures on the shelves that Tony put up. The older man in question was cleaning up in the kitchen as he was finishing up a phone call.

"So you'll come over?" He asked the person on the phone.

"Of course, uh, we can be there in twenty minutes." The voice replied. 

Tony smiled, "Perfect, see you then."

After Tony finished the dishes, he walked through to see Peter flicking through a photo album. 

"Look how cute I was!" Peter exclaimed, handing it up to Tony. There was a cute little picture of baby Peter dressed up as superman. Tony's heart melted, that was so precious.

"Dead cute." He smiled as he sat down on the bed, "I have a surprise for you."

Peter raised an eyebrow, "What is it?" 

"You know how you haven't seen your friends in ages? And you miss them a lot?"

"Yeeees?" Peter replied slowly.

"Well, I called Ned, him and MJ are coming over for the rest of the day. They are on their way, and I'm gonna cook you guys something. They can even stay over if you want them to." 

The younger man lit up, he felt so touched that Tony would do that for him, would allow more young people to come into his penthouse! 

Peter beamed, "That's amazing! Oh my god thank you!" He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the older man, thanking him.

Tony closed his eyes and breathed him in, hugging him back.

Half an hour later and Ned and Mj were sitting with Peter in his new room, catching up and having a laugh. Tony had brought them soda and snacks, and then totally left them alone. He wanted Peter to feel normal and to be able to see his friends, keeping Peter inside and safe was one thing, but he didn't want the poor kid to feel closed in and alone.

Stark didn't mind at all, in fact, he was happy that Peter was happy. He could hear laughter from down the hall, and that made him smile. He looked around in the fridge to see what there was to cook with, when Friday decided to alert him.

"Sir, you have an unwanted guest coming up the elevator. She had a passkey."

Tony spun around, closing the fridge. He looked like he was about to panic, he knew he had a few minutes, so he rushed down the hallway to Peter's room and stuck his head in.

"Hey guys, don't come out for a while, uh, business thing." He said quickly before walking back to the main part of the penthouse. He didn't want Peter to know what was going on, and he certainly didn't want him to hear what Pepper had to say. He had enough to worry about.

Peter frowned, that didn't sound normal. He looked at his friends with worry. He didn't like the way Tony spoke, and he knew something was up.

Stark stood by the kitchen island as he heard the elevator open, and a pair of high heels walk towards him. He froze up, anxiety spinning inside him. This hopefully won't be so bad, now they weren't married.

Pepper came into view, a sour expression on her face. She wore a tight black dress and worse heels to match. She stopped in front of him, looking down at him. 

"Tony." She spoke.

Just hearing that voice brought back bad memories, making him panic. He had to be strong, he wasn't that person anymore.

"Pepper, what do I owe this visit? He asked flatly, trying to stand strong.

Pepper peered around the room, unimpressed. "I see you haven't changed anything, still the same boring man you used to be."

Suddenly Tony was missing Peter. You see, Tony Stark was a strong man, a confident man, a powerful man, but a lot of that was for show, because he was also a very broken man, and he let the people he loved hurt him because that's what he thought he deserved. 

Although his parents, his friends, his exes all treated him like dirt, he never had it in him to give it back to them as hard. Because he  _ knew _ what it felt like to be kicked down, he didn't want to be the person someone else feel that way. 

And even if he did, he didn't have it in him to treat a woman like that. Even if she deserved it. 

"I guess so." Tony nodded, leaning back on the stool. "What do you want?"

"What I want is the full company." She said to him matter of factly. 

Tony chuckled, "That's a no from me, anything else?"

Pepper tapped her feet. "Listen, you idiot. I'm the backbone of this company and you know it. You took a whole month off to, pft, I don't know, sit in self pity -" as she carried on with her high horse pre-scripted rant, they had no idea that Peter was slowly walking down the hallway. 

He stopped at the corner, listening to what was being said. He realized straight away that it was Pepper, and suddenly he was filled with rage.

"- you pathetic little man, why don't you just accept you are a has-been and give me what's better off in my hands? You ruin everything anyway."

Peter couldn't understand why Tony was being so quiet, why he wasn't standing up for himself. Peter peered around and saw his mentor, deflated, looking down at his shows as she towered over him. 

_ No. No way was this fucking happening. If he won't stand up for himself, I will. _

Peter used all of his strength to storm into the room. 

"Who the FUCK do you think you are?!" Peter shouted at her, grabbing both of their attention. Tony looked terribly embarrassed and ashamed, and Pepper looked rather shocked that someone would speak to her like that.

"Excuse me?" Pepper turned to him. 

Peter walked right up to her, anger in his face. "You heard me! Who the hell do you think you are? This man right here is better than anybody we've ever known, and you're gonna sit here and make him feel like THIS?!" He shouted.

Pepper opened her mouth to speak, but Peter put up his hand. "I wasn't finished!" He snapped.

"You are a poisonous, abusive, piece of shit, and you are ONLY in charge of the company this month because Tony was looking after me! You come in here thinking you're owed the world, but guess what? You're not worth ANYTHING! NOT LIKE TONY, WHO is the BEST FUCKING THING that has ever happened to both of us!" He spat as he shouted. 

"The company is in Tony's name, and he gets to decide what happens to it, and you will not be able to manipulate him again, because I won't fucking let you!" He finished, moving so he was standing in front of Tony, almost like he was protecting him.

Peter stood her down, glaring at her as his hand went behind his back and held onto Tony's. The older man squeezed his hand, letting him know he was okay.

Pepper raised both her brows. "You're just a stupid kid, Peter. One day you'll figure out how fucking useless this man is, this isn't your fight."

Peter snarled at her, "Tony's fights  _ are _ my fights. If you  _ ever _ treat him like this, talk to him like this, or lay a FUCKING FINGER on him, then mark my words, me and the rest of the Avengers are gonna make your life hell. Now get out, before you 'accidentally' fall out a window."

Pepper took a step back, looking between the two men. "I'll be back."

Peter walked up to her and took the passkey away from her, "No you won't, now piss off." He spat at her. 

She huffed and walked back to the elevator, leaving immediately. Peter didn't turn to look at Tony, instead he spoke to Friday as he walked back to his room.

"Friday, could you please block Pepper's access to every part of Stark Industries, and change all the passwords and locks, send Tony an email with the changes."

"Of course, Sir. Consider it done."

And with that, Tony was left alone in the kitchen. He tried to stand up, but it was like his body was shaking with anxiety and fear. He thought he had put all of his behind him, but as it turned out, his PTSD wasn't just about Afghanistan and the war, but also about that bitch.

He couldn't understand what just happened, his heart was racing, his body was sweating, and all he wanted to do was collapse on the floor. 

Moments later, Peter walked back through, holding onto his leg in pain, alongside his friends. "Thanks guys, it was really nice to see you, we'll do it again soon, but for longer, I'm just so tired."

"No problem!" Ned exclaimed, "Thanks for having us up Mr. Stark!" He threw over to the frozen solid billionaire. 

Mj thanked him too, "The place is dead cool, thanks for inviting us, see you both soon!" 

The two of them waited for the elevator to come back up and left. Peter stayed silent until they were alone, and as soon as they were, he looked over at the broken man. 

Immediately, Peter walked over to him and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in for a hug. 

"I was gonna make you guys dinner," was all Tony could say. Peter chuckled, shaking his head as they hugged. 

"I'm making you dinner tonight." He smiled.

Tony's hands slid around him and he snuggled into the younger man, breathing him in. "Thank you." He whispered. "No one's ever stood up for me like that before." 

Peter squeezed him. "Remind me to beat up everyone you've ever known because real friends are  _ supposed _ to do. But first, we gotta talk." 

Peter pulled back and walked over to the couch, leaning on the back of it and held onto it. He looked at the floor and then back up to Tony.

The older man looked completely torn down, miserable, like the colour was just not going to his face. It stung to see him like that, but he had to do this, it had to be done. Peter could no longer stand the man being beaten down. He missed the old Tony, not the times he talked down to Peter and kept him at an arm's length, but the confident one who was always so strong and sexy. 

"Pete, now's not the time." Tony sighed, sitting on the stool.

"Oh yes it fucking is." Peter spoke, "I can't watch you like this anymore, I need you to yell at me." He said flatly. 

"What? I'm not gonna yell at you, Peter. You're unwell,"

The younger man rolled his eyes, standing up. "You need to get back into the mood of being you, I need to see that energy, it's gonna kick start your confidence. Yell at me."

Tony rubbed his forehead, shutting his eyes and shaking his head slowly. He let out a slow and long breath as he licked his lips. "For what?"

Peter shrugged, throwing his arms up in the air. "For getting beat up when you told me to stay safe! For going out without permission and putting my health at risk! For being pathetic! Yell at me!"

Tony stood up, "I don't want to-"

Peter interrupted him. "Yell at me! I disobeyed you!" He shouted, trying to get him all riled up. 

"Pete, please -"

"YELL AT ME!"

"FINE!" Tony shouted, standing up. "You want me to tell you off, here you go! You were being a fucking idiot! I told you NOT TO GET HURT! To stay away from danger! And what do you fucking do? You take on a group of people! You're not strong enough for that!" 

Peter bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, he didn't want to be phased by this, he asked for this. Tony  _ needed _ this, he needed a boost of energy. Though what the older man was saying did sting him, he didn't want to let him know that.

The younger man nodded, "Carry on,"

Tony took a deep breath in, his face going red as he straightened his back. "You are so SELFISH! You didn't even think about how your aunt would feel! How I would feel?! I swear to god, it's like you don't care! I HATE that you went outside, I should have been with you! You could get hurt, you moron!" He looked extremely angry.

Although it was staged, Peter still felt like he was starting to panic. Being yelled at by angry men is terrifying, but one he looked up to was even worse. He didn't know that this was how he would feel.

Wait a second, did Tony just say how  _ he _ would feel?

"AND do you know how dangerous it could have been for you to take on  _ Pepper _ like that? Christ, if she had laid a hand on you!" Tony kicked the stool beside him and hit the table with his fist, making Peter jump slightly. "Do you at LEAST have an excuse for ANY OF THIS?!"

Peter nodded, gulping. "I do." He said slowly.

"WELL? I'm aaaaall ears!" Tony raised his eyebrows and waited for a reply.

The younger man blushed and looked down, nervously trying to come up with the right reply.

"You." He peered up sadly to Tony 

"ME?!" Tony exclaimed, "I'm going to need some explanation here!"

Peter stood up, "Well, uh, you know that day I was supposed to track and report?" He started.

Tony nodded, speaking coldly. "Vividly."

"I wasn't gonna fight them." He said quietly, "But then I overheard their plan, and uh, they were talking about how they were going to take everything away from you, and uh, ruin your life." He explained nervously, looking embarrassed. 

Tony softened, "So what happened?"

Peter shrugged and watched as he swept his foot across the floor. "They were laughing about how they would torment you, make you lose your mind. I just, I lost it. The next thing I knew I was flying in and attacking them."

Tony closed his eyes, understanding finally how the kid could be so reckless. He spoke softly and calmly, "You got yourself hurt… to save me?"

Peter nodded, "Uh. Yeah. And I left the house to get you the present. And Pepper, well, she deserved it. I can't let her treat you that way. Not while I'm alive."

Tony's eyes filled up with tears, his voice broke as he tried to reply. "You." He bit down on his lip, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Peter's eyes shot up to him, "What? Really?" 

Tony nodded in reply, "But I'm furious at you still. What if they killed you? Huh? What if they captured you and tortured you?!"

Peter walked over to him slowly, "Tony, this doesn't sound like you're angry. It sounds like you're scared."

The older man nodded, "Terrified." He whispered, slowly looking up to Peter. "I am  _ terrified  _ of losing you again. Since the moment you came back, I've been protecting you."

Peter realised at that moment that that was true, all those discussions and fights about solo missions, all those extra safety lessons in the lab and with his suit. Tony had all but baby proofed the building, he just wanted to keep the younger man safe.

"But you acted like you didn't care." Peter told him as he leaned against the table. "You acted like you hated me."

Tony agreed with him, bobbing his head. "I did, because of the whole trying not to be close to people thing. But uh, I don't want you to go again. I'd uh, miss you too much." Tony stood up, looking to the other side of the room, not wanting to see Peter's expression. 

Peter had the urge to touch the man, but he didn't want to embarrass him any further, this had been a long hard day for his mental health, and Tony needed to relax.

Peter settled for standing next to him, side by side, crossing his arms. "I think you should go and have a Peter-free hot bath and get into some clean clothes, and I'm gonna make you dinner."

Tony half smiled and nodded, "Sounds good."


	8. It Doesn't Mean Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning - mentions of self harm, not the actual act of doing it, but before and after. Hurt / comfort.

Stark did what he was told. He walked through to his bathroom and started to fill the bath. He sat on the side of it and took his pulse, god today's been a rollercoaster. One minute he was fine, happy even, in love, and then he was scared and miserable, deflated and humiliated. Then, he was angry, and scared and worried. The next thing he knew, he was back to what was supposed to be calm, but instead he was freaking out.

Tony's anxiety was going insane inside his body, his heart was racing and his body was shaking, but feeling hotter than normal. He tried to calm himself down but it wasn't working.

It was like he was reverting back to the way he was when he was with Pepper. He was not himself, completely out of sync with his own mind, worrying about every single move he made, not knowing how to think or feel. 

Everything was in his head now, the water running, flashes to losing Peter, flashes to Pepper hitting him, flashes to being held captive, flashes to finding out about his parents, it was like everything was attacking him. His hand was on his chest as he tried to breathe, it was harder now than it had ever been before.

He grasped a hold of the side of the bath. He had no idea how his whole body could be in so much pain. Tony needed to get it out, he physically couldn't handle this anymore. 

As he sunk into the water, turning off the taps, he reached for his razor.

\---

Peter was walking about the kitchen, getting everything ready. He had no idea that Tony had so many levels to him, especially all the traumas he had suffered. He always saw Tony as this pillar of strength, knowledge and wisdom, but after breaking down his walls, he didn't realise how much the older man was hiding.

It didn't make Peter feel anything less for him, in fact, it made their connection stronger. Tony had always been a big part of his life. For God's sake, he had looked up to the man for years, he wanted to be just like him, make him proud, be worth something in his eyes. 

Peter realised that he wasn't the only one broken. Mr. Stark just needed a supportive friend like him, a friend that made him smile, a friend who encouraged him to be the person he wanted and needed to be. And there was a level of happiness to it, because Peger could finally be there for him and look after him, show him exactly how much he cared. 

The older man meant everything to him, and with his lack of funds, Peter couldn't do too much for him. But what he could do was make him feel happy that he's alive again.

He finished making food and realised that Tony had been gone for a while, he figured that he had probably fallen asleep, exhausted from all the emotions today.

Peter made his way to the bedroom and pushed the door open, expecting to see him on the bed. "Tony?" He asked as he stepped in, looking at an empty bed. Peter walked through to the bathroom, knocking on it.

"Tony, are you still in there?" He asked him.

He heard a sniffle from the other side of the door, a shuffle and a groan. Peter pushed the door wide open and his heart fell out of his chest.

Tony was sitting in the bath, his arm lying on the rim of the tub, stretched out, and covered in blood. Peter gasped and ran to his side, falling to his knees and trying to figure out what was happening.

"Tony?!" He exclaimed, shocked and worried. Tony was awake, pale, and looking drained as he lay in the bath. Peter slowly looked over his arm, the cuts weren't deep enough to pierce a vein, but they were deep. "Oh god, no, Tony."

There must have been about twelve deep cuts across his arm. Peter panicked, trying to put himself into protective mode again. He placed his hand on Tony's face and brought it to look at him, "Tony,"

The older man closed his eyes, "Don't yell at me, kid." He told him, "Please don't yell at me."

Peter's heart couldn't hurt anymore than it did right now, he turned around and picked up the closet towel, dipping it in water and then wrapping it around his mentor's arm, patting down softly to soak up the blood. 

"Why would I yell at you?" Peter said softly, taking Tony's hand. "There's nothing to yell about, here, I'm going to look after you."

Tony shook his head, "I hate that you're seeing me like this." His eyes were red, stinging, swollen even.

Peter stood up to grab the older man a towel, before pulling out the plug in the bath and trying his very best not to scan the man's body and embarrass him anymore. He then turned back to Tony.

"Up you get, we are gonna eat in bed. You're going to be okay, I need to bandage you up, okay?" He said in soothing tones, trying to keep him calm. 

Tony peered up at him, lost and scared. "Pete. This isn't okay, you can't see me like this."

Peter smiled, using his strength to help him out of the tub and wrapped the towel around his body, leading him into the bedroom. He didn't cry, he couldn't let himself. Peter needed to be strong, he helped Tony onto the bed and fetched some clothes for him, sitting them beside him.

He moved back and sat on his knees in front of him, "Okay, I'm going to go and get the first aid kit. I'm coming right back, you stay here okay?" Peter said softly, letting his hand sit on the side of Tony's face. "I've got you, it's okay."

Tony nodded, "Promise?" He asked in a whisper.

Peter nodded, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I promise. Stay here."

As the younger man hopped off to retrieve the first aid kit, he first went into the bathroom and picked up all the razors he could find, making a show of carrying them out, so Tony could see that he was looking out for him.

Peter left the room moments later, leaving Tony alone in his bed. For a moment it was silence, but as soon as the door closed, he heard soft sobs coming from Peter, standing at the other side, crying into his hands.

Tony felt ashamed, hurting Peter like this. He had probably all but fucked any chance of the younger man being into him, he hated himself so much right now. Right now he just let himself focus on the pain. He looked at his arm, the blood staining through the white towel. He left it on as he slowly dried himself off, pulling up his pajama trousers. Wincing, he leaned back against the headboard, setting a pillow behind him. 

Peter came through a few minutes later, with a tray of food in his hands and a first aid kit under his arm. He placed the tray down on the bed and climbed up next to Tony, opening the box and getting out what he needed. 

The older man watched him, his body feeling weak, his heart even weaker. His eyes attached themselves wearily to Peter's face. The younger man was carefully getting everything he needed, focusing on the task even though there was still reminisce of tears hiding under his eyes. 

"I'm gonna take this off you now," Peter said quietly, moving forward so their bodies were closer. He slowly lifted the towel and placed it on the side. Tony watched as the younger man sadly looked over his wounds. 

Peter swallowed and clenched his jaw, licking his lips and trying to keep a straight face. His fingers gently lifted his arm to rest on his own legs. "This might hurt,"

He opened a few of the antiseptic wipes and slowly cleaned up all the blood. Tony hissed as it stung a little, his arm shaking. Peter looked up at him, speaking softly and caringly.

"You're okay." He half smiled, eyes sad. "Let's talk okay? A little distraction while I fix you up?"

Tony shrugged. "I don't know what to say,"

Peter nodded, continuing to clean off the blood. "That's okay, I do. I just want to tell you how…"

He looked down at his arm, making sure not to prod the wounds too heavily as he slowly cleaned away the dried blood. "How strong you are."

Tony could feel himself filling up with love again, as the younger men tended to his ailing arm, his heart swelled up with the feeling of being taken care of for once. "Strong?" He repeated in a whisper.

Peter nodded, "Very. You're alive. You're here." 

"I don't know if I want to be half the time." Tony admitted, "It's not that fun struggling like this alone."

"I'm glad you're alive. You have me," Peter changed the wipes and continued to clean the wounds. 

The older man sighed sadly, "Until you leave. And then I'm alone. You're the only one who's ever cared this much about me."

Peter put the wipe down and picked up a roll of soft bandages, holding the pad against the wounds. "You need to know, Mr. Stark, and please don't think I'm hitting on you. But, platonically." He explained as he put Tony's other hand on the pad to hold it down as he started to wrap the bandage tightly around him.

"What is it?" Tony questioned, letting his hand all as the bandages were tied up. 

Peter looked up at him in a soft gaze, raising his hand to sit on Tony's jaw. "I love you."

Tony's heart exploded, Peter said those words. Platonically yes, but just hearing it was the best feeling in the world, better than anything he had ever heard. Tony wanted to cry from happiness, a lump in his throat.

"I love you too." Tony confessed, holding his hand. He meant it though, both platonically  _ and _ romantically. He didn't feel the need to explain more, but he needed to live in this moment.

Peter smiled up at him, "Do you mean that? You don't have to say it just because I did."

Tony pulled him close, "I mean it. I've meant it for a while. People don't love me, Pete. I'm not worth it."

Peter pulled back, sitting his soft hand against Tony's face. "That's what's wrong. You're not getting the love you deserve." He looked over Tony's unsure eyes and licked his lips. 

"I'm gonna…" he whispered, eyes flicking down to his lips and then back to his eyes. "Don't shout at me."

Tony's entire body began to buzz, like shivers against his skin. Seeing Peter so close, close enough to kiss, close enough to love. The younger man leaned forward, touching their noses together. 

He whispered against Tony's lips as he heard the older man's breathing hitch. "This doesn't mean anything," he said, "I want you to feel something good, you deserve it." 

Tony's eyes fell shut as Peter's soft lips touched against his. It was like magic all of a sudden, his body bursting inside like fireworks. He pushed against his lips, kissing him back. Peter kissed him slowly and softly, letting each movement tantalise his partner. Tony got lost in the kiss, his hands gently smoothing around Peter's waist, clasping in his clothes and pulling him in tighter. 

Peter's hand found Tony's neck, the other on his jaw, tilting his head. The kiss was perfect. He was actually KISSING Tony fucking Stark. It continued on, both of them pressing against each other. Tony opened his mouth slightly, trailing his tongue over Peter's bottom lip, practically begging Peter to open his mouth too. When he did, Tony let his tongue enter his mouth, feeling Peter press harder against him.

They nibbled at each other's lips, breathing each other in. Peter's body moved closer, keeping their lips together as he rose up and moved his leg over Tony, so he was straddling him. The older man's hands went from his hips, to the small of his back, and then wrapping his arms completely around him, hugging him as he made out softly. 

"Mmmm," Peter moaned as his body fitted perfectly against Tony's. Tony could feel himself smiling into the kiss, he let one hand softly touch Peter's perfect jawline. 

Tony moaned too, tasting the beautiful man wasn't as weird as he thought it would be, it felt right, it felt real, and his heart was so full of love he could hardly believe it. 

Peter slowly pulled away, his cheeks flushed, his eyes dreamy. He sweetly gazed up at his mentor, blushing and looking like a loved up school boy. "Uhhh," he said before giggling. 

A smile played over Tony's face too, he could feel his cheeks go red. "You're a good little kisser," Tony told him, "Had much practice?"

Peter blushed, "Not a lot. Mainly just thought about it. Do you feel any better?"

Tony nodded, "I do. Thank you. That was certainly a mood lifter. So uh, that's a pity kiss?" He asked, still letting his thumb brush over Peter's cheek. 

"I uh, I just wanted you to feel something. It doesn't mean anything, we're both straight, you know?" Peter explained to him. "I was surprised you didn't push me off and throw me out, I expected it, but you needed it. So now, we go back to normal."

Tony understood, but honestly, it hurt to hear that Peter was straight. However, that kiss confirmed how much he was in love with him, and if he couldn't have him, he would damn sure keep protecting him. It seemed to be, everything they did lately, was like they were already in love, except from the intimacies such as kissing and having sex. 

Maybe he could learn to deal with that?

"Sounds good to me," Tony lied, "Let's eat."

\--- 

So the two of them sat together and ate their food, sitting side by side on the bed. By the time they went to sleep, Peter's back was snuggled right into Tony's chest, his arms wrapped around him. It felt nice, it felt like love, to Tony. 

He couldn't sleep, instead he watched Peter sleep, listening to him breathe. He was incredibly adorable. It was everything now. Peter's enchanting laugh, his sweet smile, those deep eyes. Even his scent, the way he cared, the interesting things he says and how his mind worked. God, Tony could sit in his arms for as long as Peter would let him. 

The younger man loved him, even if it was platonically. He cared enough to put his life on the line for him, to act as though Tony was more important than him. Peter adored him, took care of him. 

The last time he was found self harming, Pepper shouted at him. She told him off and then laughed at him, and she kept bringing it up in casual conversations, it was really hard. So when Peter found him, he was just expecting to be told off and humiliated, but no, soft and sweet Peter fixed him up, fixed his dinner and reset his heart. 

Tony cuddled into him as if it was the last time, digging his face into Peter's neck. He was frightened of losing him, now more than ever, now because he knew that he couldn't live without him. No one was as pure and loving as Peter Parker. 

Everything now made so much sense, and being right there in the bed with him, made Tony want to be happy again, to be that person who's in love. Suddenly he felt as if he wouldn't mind putting himself in that vulnerable situation as to be in a relationship again, but this time everything would be right. 

Peter could be the person he had been waiting for. But no, Peter was straight. 

"I love you, Peter." He whispered, kissing his cheek softly and lying down close against him. "I really do."


	9. Painful Goodbyes for the Emotionally Unstable

The next two days were pretty normal, in fact, it was perfect. They were both pretty much healing up, and they would cook together and watch TV together. It was great. Tony got a taste of what it was like to be domestic with Peter, and he soaked up every minute of it like it was the last ray of sun.

Luckily, there had been no sad scenes, no crying, no emotions bursting out. Just two guys who cared so much about each other, hanging out together. Well, that was aaaall going to change today. Peter was in the shower, listening to music and singing along, he was walking on sunshine and he didn't mind belting it out.

Tony was reading a book whilst sitting on his armchair, smiling as he hummed along to Peter's tune. Suddenly his phone rang and he put it to his ear.

"Hello?" He asked, putting a bookmark on his page and closing it over. 

"Hey, Sir!" Happy greeted him, "Guess who's home!"

It suddenly came crashing down on Tony that a goodbye was near him. "Oh, uh, that's a lot earlier than expected. I'm glad you're back to your healthy self."

Happy laughed, "I am indeed. Hey, we are gonna pop round in an hour or so and get Pete, how's he doing?"

Tony felt a weight on his chest, "He's uh, he's great. All better. You're coming to collect him today?"

"Yes, May is super excited to see him."

"Uh, Hap, there's something you should probably know, uh, the kid's developed anxiety. He needs a little more understanding." Tony explained, slouching down. 

"Oh, yeah that's okay, I know how to handle that. He needs family around him, we'll be there in an hour."

They said their goodbyes and hung up the phone, leaning forward against his knees and put his head in his hands. He thought he had more time, and now everything was going to be bad again, cold turkey. 

Peter waltzed through not fifteen minutes later, wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt, he looked adorable with his brown curly hair in a complete mess. He was singing a little tune to himself as he sat down on the sofa.

"Why do you look so sad?" Peter asked, looking up at the man who had been staring out of the window with a blank expression.

Tony shook himself out of it and raised his eyebrows, turning to face him. "Nothing. Hey, is it bad if we take a nap? I need more sleep, and I sleep better with you there."

Peter smiled, "Of course. Your room or mine?" He got up, leaning on the arm of the couch. 

"Mine, please."  _ One last time. _

Peter nodded, "Meet you in there." He skipped back down the hallway and slipped into Tony's room.

He only had 40 minutes left with the kid, and he didn't want to panic him too much about leaving. Peter and Tony had become attached to each other, and if Peter was anything like him, he was going to have a hard time leaving.

He stood up and walked down the hallway, slipping into Peter's room. As quickly as he could he packed all the necessary items he would want to take home, before going back to his room. 

Tony slipped into the bed, both of them clothed. He wasn't tired at all, but he needed the closeness. "Maybe, this time, turn around?" Tony asked him. 

Peter shuffled around and smiled, cuddling into his chest. He wrapped his arm over Tony's stomach and snuggled his face into him. The older man stroked his arm, living in the moment

"I love you, Peter." He said, "Platonically or whatever."

Peter giggled, "Is that your way of saying 'no homo'?" 

"I guess." Tony chuckled, "Do I have to say that every time?" 

Peter shook his head. "Not at all. I know what you mean. I love you too, Tony." He closed his eyes and smiled. 

Within ten minutes, Peter was asleep, and Tony held him close the entire time. It wasn't until Happy texted to say they were outside that he slipped out of bed to bring the bags into the kitchen. He sadly walked back through to his room and took a last look at Peter sleeping in his bed. 

"Tony? Peter?" May called out as they entered the penthouse. Tony closed his eyes, took a breath, put on his Stark persona and walked right through to see them.

"Hey, guys!" He smiled, walking through. "Did you have fun on your trip? I mean, virus aside?"

They both laughed, "It was great!" Happy told him, his arm around May. 

"So where's my boy?" May asked him, looking around the apartment. 

Literally three moments later a sleepy Peter walked through, rubbing his eyes. "Tony, where'd you go?" He continued to walk and stopped, looking up to him with a cute little smile. 

"Peter!" May exclaimed as she threw her arms around him. 

Peter's eyes went wide as he hugged her back, "Uhh, what are you guys doing back so soon?" He asked as his eyes flicked between the three of them.

"We managed to get an earlier flight, we missed you! Happy, can you take his bags?" She smiled at her husband.

"Of course," Happy said as he walked over to them. Peter's face snapped to look at his bags and then back to May and then to Tony.

"What? What's happening?" He started to panic, his breathing began to fasten as he stepped backwards.

"You're coming home with us," May said, looking at him with a confused expression. 

Peter shook his head, "I… I can't go… I don't… Tony, say something." He looked hopelessly up to the older man, who in tern looked just as torn up about this.

"Peter, they're your parents. Go with them." He told him sadly. 

Peter's panic got more obvious as his body was beginning to shake. His face going red, "No… no, Tony I don't want to go, I don't want to leave you. Don't make me go," Peter began to cry, swiftly walking up to Tony and holding onto him tightly. 

"Come on, honey," May said to him, "We're not that far away, don't you wanna come home?" 

Peter sobbed loudly into Tony's chest, "Don't make me go," he urged the older man, "I want to be with you." Tears spilled out of his big brown eyes.

Happy and May looked at each other, terribly worried and saddened by the new Peter they came home to. "Pete, come on." Happy said to him. 

Peter was almost attached to Tony, holding onto him with all his strength, sobbing. The older man hugged him back with one arm, "Pete, you need to go."

"No! I don't want to go!" He exclaimed, "Tony please, please let me stay!" 

May put her hand on his shoulder and tried to pull him away, "Come on, you're being a child, we can go back home and back to your old room." 

Tony had to bite the inside of his cheek as he got Peter to stand up, separating them both. "Petie, you need to go home."

Peter was a complete mess, his chin shivering in misery, his face red as tears streamed down his face. "You want me to go?" He peered up at him, "You don't want me here anymore?"

Of course Tony wanted him to stay! He wanted him to stay forever! Tony placed a hand on his cheek, "Come on kiddo, they are your family. I'm on the other side of the phone, it's okay." He told him sincerely. 

"But… but… you're my person?" Peter shivered, "I wanna stay, let me stay!"

It was just an upsetting and horrible moment for everyone. May was completely heartbroken, she had missed Peter so much when she was away and she came back to a completely altered personality. It was like he reverted back to being a kid again, crying over not wanting to go somewhere. Unlike the others, she never had to deal with anxieties before. 

Tony smiled sadly at him, "I'll see you soon, okay?"

It took a long time before Happy and May managed to get Peter home. Tony had to promise to call him every day, which worked out well for him. 

Stark really wanted to keep him, really wanted to. It broke his heart to send him home. He was still in the same place as he was in when Peter left half an hour ago. The place was quiet and he hated it, he wanted Peter there to talk to, to cuddle into. 

He rubbed his chin and crossed his arms over his chest and tried to think of something to do which could take his mind off of things. Suddenly he felt like he'd never been more alone. He decided to work his frustrations out in the gym, and get some extra serotonin. 

\---

That night, that's when things changed for Tony. He had to drink a little to get to sleep, because it wasn't coming naturally. He was hugging the pillow the younger man slept on earlier, because it smelled just like him. As he finally drifted off to sleep at 1am, his mind took him on a journey he didn't want to go on.

_ His mind was black, and it faded in on Peter's face. "I don't feel so good," And all of Tony's body could feel the pain, like it was happening all over again. The kid turned to dust in his hands, looking scared and alone.  _

_ The next thing he knew, he was sitting in the bathroom, razors deep in his arm as Pepper stood before him, laughing at him, encouraging him to go "deeper, deeper! Come on iron man, see how deep it goes!" _

In his sleep he was crying, tears coating his warm cheeks. 

_ "I'll never love you, Tony." Peter's voice flew through his mind. "You're old, you're gross, I'm too good for you." And suddenly the voice turned into Pepper's. "You're not good enough for ANYONE!" _

_ The images of Peter's crying face when he, himself died, began to stick in his mind. "I'll never love you." _

Tony was sweating, crying in his sleep. He tried his best to will himself to wake up, and finally he did, shooting up in a aura of sweat and pain, breathing heavily as he tried to calm down. Tony put his head in his hands and sobbed, trying to breathe.

Suddenly his phone went off, ringing loudly beside him. Tony picked it up,

"Hello?" He tried to keep a strong tone.

"To… tony?" Peter whispered, "Tony, I'm scared."

The older man became alert, "What's wrong, Petie?" 

"Nightmares are back," Peter told him. "Can't sleep without you, need to know you're alive."

Tony's eyes fell shut, "I'm alive, honey. I'm alive. And so are you, I had a nightmare too."

"You did?" Peter's sweet and innocent voice came through.

Tony nodded, "Yeah, a bad one. Wish you were here, this sucks." He admitted.

"Was it… was it about me?" Peter whispered sadly, trying not to be too loud. 

"Uh, yeah kiddo. It was about you. Christ, Pete, I've grown so used to you being here." Tony sighed as he lay back down with the phone, cuddling into the pillow again. 

"Tony?" Peter asked, "Can you come over?"

Tony smiled, "It's 2am, your parents will kill me if I knock on the door and ask for a sleepover."

"I'll open the window! Please, I have a double bed, we can see each other, please Tony, please." The tone of his voice was positively heart wrenching. 

Stark got out of bed and looked around for his shoes. "Promise you'll leave the window open?" 

He could practically hear the smile and excitement of the younger man as he gasped a little and moved from the bed to the window. 

"It's open now, I wanna see you. I miss you."

Tony blushed as he grabbed a hoodie that was lying in his drawer, he never really wore them, but Peter once got him as a present and he wanted to be quick. 

"I miss you too," Tony replied as he grabbed his keys. "Be there so soon, keep the bed warm for me."

"I will, I'm so happy you're coming over."

"So am I, I can't talk and drive, so I'm gonna hang up and I'll text you when I'm there." Tony told him as he exited down the elevator.

"Can I talk to you? You can put me on speaker? You don't have to answer." Peter really didn't want to be left alone, he felt so safe talking to Tony, it's about the only time he did feel safe.

"Of course, I'm just getting in the car. You talk, I'll listen." Tony said as he got in, locking the door and setting the phone on speaker, setting it on his knees. 

"I don't like being home, it doesn't feel like home." Peter told him quietly. "You feel like home. Not to be weird, god, you probably think I'm some weird little kid who has an obsession with you, I'm not, I just look up to you a lot you know?" 

Tony grinned, focusing on the road. Maybe there wasn't such a big leap to being what they were to being in love? Maybe it could work out. He just needed to let Peter figure it out, because Tony would wait forever for someone that special.

"Anyway, you just mean a lot to me and I want to mean a lot to you, and I hope I do, and uh, are you nearly here? I miss you."

Tony chuckled in a low voice. "Just pulling up, I'll be at your window in two minutes, open it up."

He parked the car and climbed the ladders up to the little ledge outside Peter's window. As he reached it, he looked in to see a very happy Peter, next to an open window, in boxers and one of Tony's shirts, wrapped in a blanket, waiting for him.

"Hey," Tony shot him a charming smile, "Can I come in?" 

Peter giggled and nodded, "Please." 

The older man carefully climbed inside and closed the window, stepping down to Peter. "Hey kiddo," he smiled. Peter immediately wrapped himself around Tony and snuggled into his chest. 

Tony held him back, "Oh, Pete. Let's lie down, I'm so tired." 

The younger man pulled away and took his hand, leading him to the bed and lying down. They snuggled into each other, face to face so they could whisper. Peter's arms against his chest and Tony's around Peter's waist. 

Their foreheads were inches apart, breathing softly into each other. "I can't believe you came." Peter smiled.

"Always. You're my person, remember?" Tony replied back, licking his lips. 

"I don't deserve you." The younger man whispered. "You're just wonderful. Why do I feel so safe with you?"

"Beats me," Tony whispered back. "Maybe because I'm the coolest, most handsome person you've ever met." A grin crawled over his face. 

Peter giggled, "You are." He smiled. "You make me feel good." 

The older man blushed, letting his inhabitants go and falling into the moment. He wanted this to be real, he needed to feel this, and he had to go for broke. "Pete," he whispered. "You make me feel good too. So good." He smiled, looking into his eyes and pulling his body close against his.

"I didn't want you to go." He admitted, "I wanted you to say."

Peter blushed, "Me too. Why did you make me leave?" 

"Because," Tony breathed. "I'm not your family. They can look after you better, I'm, uh, not the best person for you."

Peter shook his head, "You are though. Tony, you're my person."

The older man looked deep into his eyes, feeling Peter's breath against his, his heart beating fast. He raised one hand to softly caress Peter's face as he made the choice to go all in. 

"And you, Mr. Parker, are mine." 

With that, he leaned forward and touched his lips against the younger man's and kissed him. Peter froze against him, not moving away, but not kissing him back either. Tony held him close and moved his lips gently, tempting the other man into the kiss. Peter took a few moments before he melted into it, his fingers gently grazing the skin against Tony's neck. 

Tony moaned softly against him, kissing him slowly and lovingly. Peter was the one to open up the kiss, pressing in close as his chest rose to press against Tony's. He felt the older man's hands grasp into his shirt as he pulled Peter's legs against his. 

Peter let himself be kissed, and kissed some more. It was just as perfect as the first time, and every part of Tony was coming alive. His arm didn't hurt, his mind didn't attack him, it was just the sweet touch of Peter.

Tony pressed forward against him, holding his hip. Peter moaned as he was being kissed harder, feeling the makings of Tony getting hard against him.

The younger man placed his hands on Tony's chest and pulled away, his lips open and glistening, cheeks flushed. He shook his head, looking into Tony's eyes. "No," he whispered. "I can't."

Tony's face dropped, he looked ashamed and embarrassed, completely heartbroken. "Okay," he nodded, pulling back. 

"It's not that I don't… it's because… you're so," Peter tried to figure out what to say and how to say it. "I'm sorry, I just can't."

Tony swallowed and clenched his jaw, nodding before looking down. "Yeah, no, that's fine. I get it." He cleared his throat. "You're not… why would you be?" Tony cursed himself, retreating. 

Peter grabbed his wrist before he could pull his hand away. "Don't leave me." Peter whispered, eyes begging him. "The nightmares."

Tony nodded, eyes filling up. "Okay, kiddo. But tomorrow, we need to start sleeping apart." 

Peter frowned, moving forward and snuggling into him. "No." He whispered. "No."

Tony didn't know what to say or how to say it, he just got rejected by the first man he had ever loved. The first person who was good and pure to enter his life. Why would Peter want him? Especially after the whole bathroom incident, Tony considered himself lucky he didn't push Peter away.

"You know," Tony whispered, cuddling into him. "You're too good for me anyway."

  
  



	10. Reset

When the sun crept through the windows and May knocked on his bedroom door, Peter regained consciousness and stretched out, hoping to find Tony there to cuddle into. But there was nothing, just an empty space. He hadn't woken up alone in a while, and he hated not seeing Stark's face beside him. He grimaced and sat up, his hands smoothing over the space where Tony was sleeping.

What happened last night? The entire thing was insane? Right? Tony kissing him,  _ wanting _ to kiss him, wanting MORE TO HAPPEN? Was the older man into him?

Another knock at the door. "Honey, are you awake?"

Peter rubbed his eyes. "Uh. Yeah. I am."

May walked in and sat down on the bed, "How you feeling?"

Peter shrugged. "Okay, I guess. All things considered. I uh, I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't want you back."

May smiled warmly, "It's okay pickle, come with me, Happy cooked us a huge breakfast, and we have presents for you."

Peter agreed to get some clothes on and meet them in the living room. As he grabbed his pajama trousers, he noticed a piece of paper sitting on his desk. He picked it up and sat down on the bed, reading it slowly. 

_ 'Peter,  _

_ I'm sorry, we shouldn't have got as close as we did. I think it confused me. I'm sorry I kissed you, I've been reading things wrong. I think because I'm used to people treating me horribly, that I've hooked myself onto the first person who showed me human decency. _

_ You really are special, and you deserve better than hanging around an old, broken man like me.  _

_ I'm gonna take some time away. I think I need to figure out what the fuck I'm doing with my life, now that I have it back.  _

_ Stay safe, stay perfect, stay you.  _

_ Tony.'  _

Peter stared blankly at the page. He felt as though any and all hope of doing okay again flew out the window. He made his entire life about getting closer to Tony, about being in his life. That's all Peter wanted, was to matter to Tony, to be accepted by Tony. And now, the man was pulling away?! 

That can't happen?! What was he going to do without his mentor? How was he going to sleep? Who was he going to look forward to seeing? Who was he going to make proud? 

What did he do wrong?! Was it because he didn't sleep with him last night?! Surely Tony didn't actually want to? Not with him! Tony was straight… he was straight? Right?

God, this was all way too confusing! 

Peter got out his phone and tried to call Tony, but he wasn't answering. May knocked on the door and ushered him out for breakfast. Things were  _ not _ going to go well.

\----

For the next four days, Tony hardly slept. In fact, he kept himself awake and on the couch, watching a show that Peter recommended. He had no idea how long he'd been watching Grey's Anatomy, but he felt like he knew the characters. 

With bottles of drink on the table and a never ending drink in his hands, his eyes were red and his clothes baggy. He couldn't be bothered.

What was the use of anything anymore? Pepper; his abusive ex who keeps around to make sure his insecurities are high and his self-worth is low. The industry, which is doing fine but hasn't come up with anything new in the longest of times due to lack of inspiration. 

Also there's his "friends" who never turned up to see him anymore. That was awful, it made him feel completely unloved. 

Maybe Peter was right? Love was the thing that was missing. The thing that had always been missing most in his life, his family, his friends and relationships. He wondered if growing up with normal loving parents and less money would have made for a healthier and happier life with better life choices. 

But then, he wouldn't be the Tony Stark he is today, and he never would have met Peter.

Ah Peter. That beautiful, angelic, gorgeous young man with the big smile and bigger heart. What a cutie. Who doesn't want the world's sweetest man to be in love with them? 

And now Tony had gone and fucked it all. He had kept his phone off the last few days, he wasn't supposed to be back in office for another week, so he had the time. 

He needed to figure out who he was now, how he was going to live, what he was going to do with his life, his company, his heart. But now he knew that he was in love with Peter, it was going to take some time to mend. Falling out of love with people was hard and horrible, especially when you haven't been in such a wonderful feeling for the longest time. 

It felt so nice and magical to be in love. He adored how his heart filled up when Peter smiled at him. That was worth the pain for a little while.

He had hoped the letter he left Peter was clear enough for him to understand. It was a difficult situation, but things had to change.

But what if the world didn't want it to?

It was probably around 2pm when Friday told him that he should get up and eat something. He growled and pulled his laptop next to him so he could get food online like Peter taught him too. As he opened it, he got messages saying that Happy had been trying to contact him.

He clicked call back, and within twelve seconds he was face to face with a tired looking Happy. Tony rubbed his eyes and sat forward.

"Hey, you okay?" Tony asked him.

Happy shook his head, "Not really. Hold on, let me move somewhere." He was using his phone so it wasn't hard for him to walk away. He motioned to May that he was talking to Tony, and walked out the front door of the apartment.

"Okay, I'm back." Happy said, sitting down on the top stair. 

"What's going on?" Tony furrowed his eyebrows. 

Happy sighed, leaning against the wall. "We can't cope, Tony. This is really hard. He won't sleep, he won't eat, he spends his nights crying. He hasn't washed since he came here, it's like he's terrified of the bathroom." He scrunched his face up and yawned, "I don't know what to do."

Stark closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. The kid needed him just as much as he needed the kid. Maybe, living together wasn't such a bad thing? Maybe they could be roommates? 

Oh my god, they could be roommates! And Tony could see him all the time. And come home to him. And snuggle into him at night. And see his face. 

"Does he… does he ask about me?" Tony asked him, hopefully. 

Happy shrugged, "Sometimes. The rest of the time he cries if we bring up your name."

Stark nodded, "Okay. What do you and May think about… the possibility of him, maybe, moving in with me?"

"Honestly? Whatever he needs at this point. He was doing well with you right? You guys were happy and sleeping? He was eating?"

Tony nodded. "Yes. Things were good."

"Hold on, let me talk to May." 

Tony was put on hold as Happy slid his phone into his pocket and walked into the apartment. As he did so, Tony slapped himself in the face to wake up a little. He looked around at the mess he made, this wouldn't do if Peter was coming home, I mean,back. 

Stark got up and started to gather up everything and put it away as he waited for Happy's return. 

Not three minutes later they were face to face again. 

"May says, whatever it takes to put a smile back on her baby's face." He told him. 

Tony nodded, smiling a little. Sure he was going to try to stay away so his heart could heal, but fuck it. Peter needed him and he needed Peter.

"I'll be there soon. Don't tell him, I'll surprise him." Tony told him. 

Happy smiled, letting out a happy sigh of relief. "Ah god, thank you so much! I can't wait to sleep, you're the best."

"Anytime. I loved him being here. Can you get out some extra luggage and stuff so I can bring all his stuff? I don't need his furniture, just everything else." 

Happy nodded. "Got it. That's fine, I'll see you soon okay??"

Tony said goodbye and hung up, jumping to his feet. He finished cleaning up after himself, and downed a bottle of water before heading into Peter's room to pick up the leftover bags. He had to admit it, the moment he thought Peter could be coming home, uh… back, it was like electricity surging through him. He had to protect Peter again, and he wanted to.

Within forty minutes Tony was knocking at the Parker residence. The door flew open almost immediately, and he was greeted by a tired looking May. 

"Come on in, I'll make you food, do you need help with those bags?." She smiled. 

"It's okay, they're empty." Tony walked into the apartment, holding all the empty bags. He placed them down by the sofa and looked at the both of his friends. "Where is he?"

Happy pointed at Peter's closed bedroom door. All they could hear coming from his room was a theme song of a 90s show, loudly. Tony nodded, turning towards it. 

"I'll be back," he told them before knocking. He faintly heard Peter say something, but he couldn't tell what it was.

"Peter? It's me!" Tony called out. Within two seconds there was a shuffle and footsteps, the door swung open and he was faced with a tired looking Peter, grinning up at him with swollen, red eyes. 

"Hey you," Tony smiled warmly. Peter jumped into his arms, legs around his waist and arms around his neck. Tony chuckled and hugged him back. "Miss me?"

Peter nodded. Of course, the kid stunk, he really needed to wash, which would be the first protocol when they got back. "I did. Are you staying for dinner? Can you stay over?" Peter grinned as he climbed off of the man and stood in front of him. 

Tony looked at him blankly, "Why would I stay over here?" He said, watching Peter's face drop. The smile wiping away from his lips.

Then Tony told him, a grin playing over his own face, "When you're moving in with me right now?"

Peter's face lit up, he jumped up and down, a huge beam on his face. "Really?!" He asked excitedly, "Really really?! I'm moving in with you?!"

Tony chuckled and nodded. "Yes, really. Now, let's get everything packed up, we'll come back to mine… well, ours. And we'll get you settled in."

"Ours?!?" Peter squealed, jumping up and down again, he giggled and turned to go into his room. "I need to pack!" 

Tony turned to May and smiled, "I guess, we'll see how it goes." 

She nodded, "Thanks Tony. I'll help you guys pack, Happy's gonna make us food." She kissed Happy on the cheek and went to get her cases of luggage.

So Tony and May sat with Peter, collecting everything the younger man needed. Clothes, books, collectibles, private things, shoes, basically everything the man needed. Obviously the furniture stayed, and the bedside lamp, because he already had one at Tony's. The bedding stayed too for if he ever came home to visit. 

Soon enough, they were saying goodbye and driving back towards the penthouse. 

"Thank you, Tony." Peter smiled as he got into the car. "You're just what I needed."

\---

Tony and Peter carried everything up to the penthouse, which took a few trips. They dumped it inside Peter's room. 

Peter sat down on the bed, nervous as he looked around the room. "So." He sighed.

"So." Tony replied, standing up beside him. 

"Can we talk?" He asked the older man, peering up at him.

Tony nodded, "Yes, but first, Peter." Tony said, standing up. "You need to shower."

Peter's eyes widened. He shook his head as he stammered, "Uh,, I can't, I, if I, I don't want to," he slouched on the bed, bringing his knees up to his chest.

Tony sat down on the floor in front of him, gently touching his leg. "Why can't you?" He asked softly.

Peter looked up at him. "I'm scared." He whispered. "I… I keep, uh, thinking about that night… you know."

The older man suddenly understood. He had terrified Peter so much he never wanted to go into the bathroom alone, because the last time he did he found Tony self harming. He horrified the kid. And he knew if he let it take him over right now, it would plague his little spider mind for ages.

"Pete, I'm so sorry." He looked up at him sadly. "This is all my fault."

Peter closed his eyes. "I just see you lying there… and it's so hard, it's like, I just can't do it."

Tony touched his hand gently. "Do you want me to come with you? We can do it together?"

Peter nodded. "Yes please," he whispered. "I'm sorry, I'm being pathetic. Apparently everything's catching up with me."

Tony stood up and held out his hand, "Not pathetic. Normal. Come on, we'll do it together."

Peter stood up too, taking his hand. They walked into the hallway. "Okay, I know you don't want to but we have to do this in my bathroom, because we need to get you over the fear."

Peter clenched his hand tight, eyes worried. "Are you sure? What if I panic?"

Tony nodded, "Deadly, and if you panic, I'll be right here. Now, bath or shower?" He asked as they walked into the older man's bedroom. 

Peter slowly followed close by him, chewing his bottom lip. "Which one will you take with me?" He whispered. 

Tony turned to him, "I don't think we should be taking them together anymore. I can sit with you, for reassurance." he suggested, although he hated the fact of not being in the water with him, they needed to keep a bit of distance. 

Peter's eyes looked sad, "Then I don't want to go in."

"Peter, come on, it's going to be okay." Tony tried to comfort him. Peter shook his head and cuddled into his chest. "Please."

The older man took a deep breath in and sighed, giving in completely. "Okay. You sit on the bed, I'll run the bath, and then we'll get in together. I haven't had a wash in a while either." 

Peter nodded and sat on the bed, patiently waiting as Tony entered into the bathroom and started running the bath, adding bubbles and salts to it. He looked around the room, feeling calmer now he was in the place he missed so much. He focused on his breathing, trying not to think about that horrid night.

The water was turned off after a few minutes and Tony came back through, "Okay, bath's ready. We're going to do this slowly, eyes closed, so you don't panic, so get undressed." He told Peter as he took his own shirt off. 

Now, Tony wanted nothing more than to watch Peter undress, but this time wasn't about his feelings, this was about managing the trauma he inflicted on the younger man. He wasn't a mental health professional, but if anyone was going to help Peter through this, it was gonna be him. 

Of course, Tony desired Peter's body, the first man's body he ever desired, and he was in love with the man. But he couldn't let himself think about that now. 

Peter slipped out of his clothing, and as did Tony, keeping his boxers on. "Ready?" Tony asked him, holding out his hand, not looking lower than the man's chin.

"Ready." Peter took his hand. 

"Close your eyes and walk with me, it's okay." The younger man did as he was told, slowly stepping forward and into the bathroom. He could smell the bath salts in the air as his feet touched the floor tiles.

"You're doing so well," Tony said to him, guiding him to the tub. "I'm super proud of you," 

Peter felt himself blushing slightly as he held onto Tony's hand tightly, reaching the tub. 

"In you get," Tony said to him, "Leg up." He helped maneuver the younger man into the water, lowering him down. Peter said in the hot water, holding onto the side. 

"Are you coming in?" Peter asked, eyes still closed as he stretched out his legs. 

"Yeah uh, sure. I'll need to have a shower after this." He said to himself.

"Why? You're having a bath with me," Peter retorted. 

Tony chuckled, "Yeah, but with underwear on. I need to actually wash myself," he smiled, dipping his foot into the water behind Peter's back.

Peter shrugged, "Take them off then."

Tony froze. "Uh," he said, pulling his foot back and standing up.  _ What the fuck. _ Peter… and Tony… naked in the tub… PLATONICALLY?!

There is no fucking way that Peter doesn't like him in some way. He initiated the kiss, he asked to be his person, HE said I love you first. Maybe the younger man was just slow at figuring things out?

"Pete, are you comfortable with that? I don't want to -"

"Just get in already. I miss you." Peter said to him, clenching his eyes shut. 

Tony had no idea what was going on but he just went with it. He decided not to over think it, this was just what he wanted and needed. He dropped his underwear and climbed in behind Peter, putting his legs around him. Peter leaned back against him, holding onto Tony's hands and pulling them around his waist. 

The older man closed his eyes, his head softly laying in Peter's hair. Peter's body never felt so amazing, completely against his body. Peter was so soft, gorgeous, pretty. No one had touched him like this in forever. He had to try his best not to think about how his cock was nuzzled against Peter's perfect ass. 

He gently let his thumbs smooth against Peter's hips, kissing his head gently. Peter held onto him softly. 

"You can open your eyes now," Tony whispered. 

As Peter slowly opened them, Tony held onto Peter's hand, entwining their fingers together, breathing with him. He could feel a small rush of breathing changes in the younger man, so he held him closer. "It's okay, I'm here."

Peter leaned his head back against the older man's chest. "Why did you kiss me?" 

Tony was silent, his eyes still closed. He breathed heavily, as he held Peter close. "Hmmm…" he thought. "I was drunk?" He offered in a joking tone.

Peter shook his head, "That's not it. Tell me."

"Ahhh, Pete. Why do we have to talk about it, huh? I mean, it's not like you wanted it. I'm sorry I did that to you." He explained sadly.

"Did it make you happy?" Peter asked him.

"Very," he whispered in reply. "I guess, I just felt like it was the right thing to do in that moment?" Tony told him. "I just felt so lost without you, and when I saw you again, I just felt I needed to."

Peter licked his lips, "Okay," he smiled. "It was a good kiss." 

"It was." Tony agreed, reaching for the sponge. "Now, let's get cleaned up and get some food. Then it's early to bed, because we are both exhausted."

Peter agreed, and they both got themselves washed and ready for bed.

That night they cuddled up in Tony's bed, clean, fed and sleeping softly against the sheets, finally a nightmare-less dream. Tony, with a smile on his face, would awaken in the arms of the man he loved, hoping that something may happen, and knowing that right now, life was good.


	11. Back To Normal

Waking up in each other's arms was perfect, they ended up sleeping in until nearly midday. It was what they really both needed, a nice long dreams without toxic thoughts slipping through. 

Tony had woken up first and spent a half hour watching him sleep. He thought about how he was going to get Peter back to his normal self, they had to practice doing things alone, and Peter needed to overcome his anxieties. 

It shouldn't be too hard, although Tony was yet to overcome all of his own anxieties, they were kind of ingrained in his soul by this point. He figured that they could still sleep in the same bed together and shower together, but every other point they should be working on space.

The day began well, they got washed and dressed, and Tony decided that they had had too many takeouts and tv time, so he made them a nutritious meal. 

"What sort of things do you like to do, Peter? When we aren't stuck in front of the tv?"

Peter smiled as he sat down by the kitchen island as he watched his mentor make food. "I'm into a few different things, I'm creative."

Tony nodded, smiling. "That I know," he looked up at him. "But give me specifics here, do you like to sing, dance, draw? It'll help me when it comes to birthdays for presents."

Peter giggled, "Tony, you don't HAVE to get me anything, you know."

"I don't have to, but I  _ want _ to. If that's alright with you. So tell me everything," 

The younger man nervously let his fingers trace across the table, smiling and blushing as he thought about it. "Okay… so there is something I like to do. I'm kinda good at it? I guess…"

"Yeah?" Tony smiled as he moved to grab a wooden spoon. "Tell me,"

"Uh… well, I like to draw. They're not, like, amazing or anything, but they're okay. May's framed a few."

Stark raised an eyebrow, smiling with intrigue, "I didn't know that! Go get your work, show me your stuff!"

Peter shook his head, "Nope! Nuhuh, you can't see them. They aren't good enough, they need to be amazing before you can see them."

Tony chuckled, "You need to quit trying to impress me by being whatever you think is perfect. I like you the way you are so just show me your damn work." He looked up to see Peter wide eyed, "What?"

"Just uh," Peter laughed in embarrassment. "You're Tony Stark, Iron Man. And you like me the way I am? That's so… unexpected."

"Are cool, rich, gorgeous men like myself not allowed to like their friends? I'm offended!" The older man laughed as he put some vegetables into a pot. 

Peter shrugged, "It's just because I'm a freak. You and Aunt May are the only ones who don't think so. It's just kinda cool that you think I'm worth being friends with."

Tony held up his spoon and pointed it at Peter, "Never call yourself a freak again. I love you, no homo or whatever."

Peter smiled, "I love you too. So what are we gonna do for the rest of the day?"

"Well, we can't just sit about and do nothing. I've got to go back to work next week, so I have some files I have to look over, and a book I want to read. We need to get you sorted too, you ever thought about college?" He asked him.

Peter sighed deeply and leaned forward on the table, his arms under him. "I guess. I want to of course, but the only thing I want to do after college is work here."

Tony paused, looking up at him in surprise. "You actually want to work with me? Here? For a career?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?"

Tony left the food to cook as he walked around the table and stood near Peter. "You do realise that you'll be living with me  _ and _ working with me? I mean, it's not a problem. I can hook you up with a job here, no college needed. But do you really want to be around me for that long?"

He leaned his back against the table and crossed his arms over his chest. Peter looked up at him, sitting up straight.

"I do." He told Stark. "Plus, it's not just about you. I love the company, I love what you've built. I want to help you keep it going."

"Well, hopefully working and living with you will be better than it was with Pepper." Tony stood up and headed towards the other room to collect something. 

He came back minutes later with a stack of files and his laptop, sitting them on the coffee table as he sat down in his chair. "Think about it, Pete. If you want to, I'll give you a job here. But you have to be sure." He explained as he set up his little work station. 

Peter watched him, "Would you mind if I sat with you? I'll be quiet. I think I'm going to draw."

The older man grinned up at him, "Can I see it when you're done?" He picked up his reading glasses and put them on.

"Of course," Peter smiled. "Just don't judge me, I'm not amazing."

"Get your drawing stuff and join me."

The two of them sat around the coffee table doing their own thing. As Tony flicked through some files and made notes, Peter stretched out on the sofa with a sketch pad. It felt really comfortable for them both. 

From time to time, Tony would look over at the younger man, sometimes for a few minutes before he got back to work. Peter did this thing when he was concentrating, his face got all serious and his tongue would flick out. Sometimes his eyebrows would furrow and he would tilt his head to better understand his own work. It was really fucking adorable.

To Tony, Peter was like one of those drawings of a bunny with a knife. He could be serious and try his hardest to be badass, but in Stark's eyes he would always be adorable. 

40 minutes into their silence, Tony huffed as he scanned a document. "So apparently, Pepper still technically works for the company. Her name is on a lot of things. Plus, somehow she is still getting paid."

Peter looked over his sketchpad. "So what do we do?"

Tony smiled at him warmly. "We?" 

The younger man looked worried, "Uh, sorry, you, what, uh, what are you gonna do?"

Stark shook his head. "'We' is fine, I don't know though, she's not allowed in the building which you made sure of, thank you for that."

Peter nodded, "You're welcome."

"So I guess," Tony carried on. "We pay her off? Sound good?"

Peter shrugged, "Technically you're still the authority right? So you can fire her, cut the pay, cut the privileges and change the partnership."

Turns out Peter was pretty level headed about this, which he could not be more thankful for. "Perfect, I just need to figure out  _ how _ to fire her. You know. Without any damage."

"You can do it, Tony. Don't let her walk all over you, you're stronger than that."

Tony leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. "I don't know about that, but I need to do it. Would you… would you come with me?" He looked hopefully to the younger man. 

Peter nodded enthusiastically, "Yes! Of course, I was going to offer anyway, and we can get security there if need be. Then we can block all of her accounts, keys etc. All the codes are changed anyway, and then she's gone. And you're free of her."

Tony rubbed his jaw as he thought. "Yeah, but I'm going to need someone to join me as a partner. I don't feel mentally that I can do this alone right now." 

"Right…" Peter sat up, putting his elbow on the arm of the chair and thinking about it. Tony watched him as he thought hard, looking into the room. "So you need someone hard working… who gets your vision… who can talk to people… and understands the business."

Just then, Tony had a wonderful idea. Okay, maybe it could go either way, but it could work. 

"Any names come to mind there, Pete?" He smirked, watching him as he went through a list in his head. 

"I don't know, I mean, Happy is really good but I think he enjoys where he is. There's always that lady who does -"

"I have an idea." Tony interrupted him.

Peter looked up with a smile, "Yeah? Who?"

"Well, he's pretty damned spectacular. I just don't know whether he would accept the role, you know, considering he's so young and has never gone to college."

Peter took a moment before he realised what he was saying. He looked confused while he thought about who he could mean. Then it dawned on him, and his face lit up, beaming.

"Me?!" Peter asked excitedly. 

Tony nodded in reply, "Up for it? You'll get an office." 

"Oh my god, yes! Yes!" Peter exclaimed as he grabbed onto a pillow and hugged it. "That would be amazing, I'd love that. Are you serious?"

"Very." Tony told him, grinning widely "I'll sort that out for you then. Welcome to the business." 

Peter jumped off the sofa and pulled his phone out of his pocket, "I have to tell mom and dad, holy shit this is insane!" He exclaimed as he skipped off into the other room, putting his phone to his ear. 

Tony felt amazing, watching Peter get so excited over this. He loved how much this meant to Peter, and now much Peter's happiness meant to him. As he looked back at where Peter sat, he noticed the sketchbook. Did he have enough time to look at it? He hoped so. 

He moved to sit down on the sofa and picked it up, turning over the page. 

"Oh my god," he whispered to himself. Peter had been drawing a portrait of him as he worked. And it was really great, almost at professional level. Tony's breath was taken away as he studied the artwork in his hands. Peter had the nerve to say he wasn't any good!

He couldn't take his eyes off of it. This was the first time anyone had ever done something like this for him. He could hear Peter returning so he put the sketchbook back down and moved back to his armchair. 

"Mom and dad are so excited for me!" Peter skipped through, sitting down on the sofa. "But they said I have to go to therapy before I sign anything, they don't want me having panic attacks during work, which is totally fine by me."

Peter explained as he sat back down on the couch, picking up his book. 

\---

The rest of the day was normal and happy, they lived around each other as roommates did. And when it came to bedtime, they knew their routine. 

The next day however, Tony decided to take a little further with their space. He took his work down to the lab, leaving Peter upstairs to get settled in. It seemed to work for a good hour before Peter was calling him and getting Friday to send him up. When Tony got back to the penthouse, Peter ran up to him and refused to let go for ages. 

At least it was a little progress. 

Shopping was the hardest thing to do. He had to first convince Peter to come with him, which proved hard, but Tony promised he would be by his side. They drove together to the store, and Peter was practically glued to Tony's side the entire time. Peter was given trolley duty as Tony walked beside him, talking him through it.

"You're doing amazing," Tony whispered as they walked through the aisles, placing his hand on Peter's back. "Just keep calm."

Unfortunately there were a lot of people, some of them looked like thugs, but a lot of them were sweet little kids and families who wanted to see Iron Man, so they stopped a good twelve times in the store. Peter was clasping on as tight as he could to the trolley, keeping his eyes on his mentor.

"I'm so proud of you, you're doing so well."

Every so often, Tony would look back at him, giving him a smile and a wink, letting him know he was okay. The whole ordeal took a good hour, but afterwards, Tony rewarded Peter by buying him his favourite snacks. 

When they got back to the penthouse, they both put everything away together. "I'm so proud of you, Peter. You're doing great getting over these little things. Soon enough you'll be back to normal."

Peter blushed, "It's because of you." 

"Thank you, but you're one strong man. Anyway, tomorrow, we are firing Pepper, and then it's back to work for me because someone has to be there. I've called a therapist to come in a few days for you, if that's okay?"

Peter put bottles into the fridge as he listened. "Uh, yeah, that sounds good." He said absentmindedly. 

"You do want to, don't you?" Tony asked him, touching his back as he came up behind him, putting the butter into the fridge.

"I do," Peter said as he felt Tony's hand linger before his body was gone completely. "I'm just scared. Let's just do things day by day? Today we went shopping, and I'll deal with tomorrow then."

"Good plan, Spiderman." Stark told him as he filled up a cupboard. "This cupboard is yours, it has all your unhealthy young man crap in it. Don't let me eat too much, I've got to keep myself gorgeous." He laughed as he closed the door over. 

Peter stood at the fridge, watching Tony carry on with the shopping. He saw how beautiful Stark was inside and out, and if he was truly honest, he knew exactly how he felt. But he knew it couldn't be, and Peter had his own reasons. The one thing he didn't know was how the hell Tony felt. There was no way an important, wonderful man such as he, could ever have feelings towards Peter. No way. 

They finished off the day with a sense of accomplishment in both of them. However when it came to night time, Tony started to worry. 

He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Peter was lying beside him looking at his profile, "What's wrong?" He asked him.

Tony was silent for a few minutes. "If I'm completely honest with you, I'm scared. Pepper scares me, Peter. It's stupid."

Peter sat up, "It's far from stupid!" He exclaimed, moving to sit cross legged as he watched Tony's face. "Tony, you were abused. She is a vile, disgusting woman. But you are  _ not _ going to be alone. I'll be there, and security will be there."

Tony felt a lump grow in his throat as he nodded, reaching out to grab Peter's hand, still looking up to the ceiling. "I know. I'm… I'm being pathetic. I just don't want to end up hurting myself again, and I don't want you to get hurt."

Peter brought his hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly. This brought Tony's attention away from the rest of the room and towards the young man sitting next to him. He loved the way Peter calmed him. He couldn't help but wonder what a real relationship with this gorgeous young man would be like. 

"You're not going to hurt me," Peter told him, "I won't leave you alone for you to hurt yourself. I'm going to be here. You need to confront her, it's gonna be good for you."

"I hope you're right. I'm kind of glad I've finally got someone to talk to about this." Tony admitted, taking a deep breath in. "It was horrible."

Peter nodded. "I can see what it's done to you," he let his fingers move from the sofa towards Tony's arm, slowly tracing over the bandage. "It's going to take everything inside me not to kill her tomorrow."

Tony watched Peter's fingers slowly graze over his arm. "I don't understand why you didn't leave. I'm an old, broken man, I shouldn't be your safe space. Before long you're gonna find yourself a nice girl and move out, and you'll forget you ever knew me." He mused as his eyes kept in place.

Peter grimaced. "Why do you keep putting yourself down?" He asked him. Tony looked up at the younger man's slightly annoyed face. "No, I'm serious. Every other word out of your mouth whilst we are in private is self destructive, do you honestly not like yourself that much?"

Tony felt his heart pound as he swallowed, looking down from Peter's gaze. "Uh. Yeah. I guess I'm my own worst enemy."

Peter took a few moments before he moved closer, picking up both of Tony's hands and holding them in his. He looked softly into his mentor's eyes as he spoke. 

"Those aren't your words." Peter whispered. "Those are  _ her _ words… and she is so wrong. Tony… you're just, you're a genius, and you're kind and intelligent and brave, you're everything good in this world. Don't let her poison you, please."

Tony could feel his eyes starting to water as he nodded. He felt this urge inside him to tell Peter exactly how he felt, but he didn't know how. Soon. He had to tell him soon, before his heart exploded from an overload. 

"I'll try." Tony whispered, "I'm just, not the guy you thought I was."

Peter kissed his hand, "You're better. You can do this."

Tony half smiled, sighing and turning onto his side. "And you'll be by my side?"

Peter nodded, lying down beside him and pulling the covers over them both. "Of course, she'll never treat you like that again. Not while I'm around."


	12. Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW - abuse flashback.

It took a lot of prep talk before Tony felt like he could do this confidently. Peter and himself went into the office early, and made arrangements for Pepper to come in. She was due in a half hour, and Tony's anxieties were going crazy. His legs were shaky as he tapped away on the desk, feeling himself growing completely overwhelmed. 

He didn't want to have to see her. She was the face of his nightmares, the devil in his life. Other things, he could come to terms with at least a little. Afghanistan was years ago, it was over and there was no going back. Peter was alive, living with him and soon to be working with him, friends finally. 

But Pepper? Pepper was alive and local. She knew where he lived and could turn up at any given time on any given day she so wished. And she must have known the power that she has over him! Tony tried not to think about the times they had together, but the anxieties of seeing her again just got harder and harder.

_ Tony was getting out the shower after a long day at work, glad to be home again. All he wanted was to sleep, but apparently Pepper wanted another fight. The moment he stepped out of the bathroom, she was calling him down, acting as though he was nothing.  _

_ She had been blaming him for all the things that went wrong in her life, and told him that maybe he should have stayed dead. Tony couldn't help but retreat into himself, he hated being degraded, but he could never find it within himself to fight back.  _

_ "Oh you're going to go all quiet on me now? You selfish, useless prick!" She yelled at him as she walked closer to him.  _

_ He felt weak, like his soul was being destroyed. If this was love, he didn't want it. He never wanted to feel like this, but who was gonna save him?  _

_ "Will this make you talk to me?!" She shouted, backhanding him across the face. "Will it?!" _

Tony jumped out of his seat as the door opened, almost panicking. Peter popped his head in and looked over to him, "Tony, it's just me." He noticed immediately how out of character his mentor was and closed the door behind him.

"You're freaking out aren't you?" Peter asked him, walking over to him. Tony nodded, clenching his jaw, still shaking.

"I can't do this." He whispered. "She'll kill me."

Peter looked at his watch, "Okay, the security guards are outside the door, and will come in with her, we have a little while longer. What can I do to help you? Do you want more people in here? Do you need a drink?"

Tony shook his head and looked down at his shoes, he felt like pacing, he couldn't keep his head straight. "I don't know." His voice cracked. "I don't know, Peter. What do I do?" He looked into Peter's eyes, a broken man, begging for help. 

Peter sat back on the desk and gazed up at the older man. "I know we said this was not going to happen. But, would a kiss help?"

Tony was staring into his eyes, he felt scared and alone, and although he had hoped to kiss the younger man on happier occasions, maybe right now it was what he needed? Tony slowly nodded. "Yes please." He whispered.

Peter smiled and stood up, leaning back against the desk a little as he reached out to pull Tony closer. One of his hands rose up and gently caressed the side of Tony's jaw, and he watched as the older man's eyes fell shut, taking a deep breath in. 

Tony felt the younger man's fingers graze his skin, as his other hand lay on his chest. He, himself, let his hands slowly touch Peter's hips, gently smoothing them around his waist. He felt Peter lean up into him, connecting their chests.

Tony moved his head forward, his lips centimetres away from Peter's. Their noses grazed each other as the younger man tilted his head, gently pressing up against him. Tony lost himself in that moment. 

He held onto Peter as he began to kiss him softly, tasting him just like he dreamed about. His hands held on a little tighter as he pressed in more, kissing him a little harder. Peter let out a whimper under him, holding him tighter and pulling their bodies in closer together.

Tony let his instincts take over, guiding Peter off of the desk to a standing, his arms wrapping around Peter's back, holding him close as Peter's arms slid around his neck, moaning into the kiss as it deepend. Tony's heart raced, kissing him with everything he had, trying to tell him with his touch just how he felt. He  _ needed _ Peter to understand, he had to. 

The younger man was kissing him back with purpose, pressing into him. It was almost like he wanted this as much as Tony did, but he didn't want to stop and ask why it was so great. Right now, the anxieties were flying away. It was almost like he wasn't about to meet up with his biggest fear, but instead he was overwhelmed with love. 

Peter's hand gripped into Tony's hair, his tongue exploring the older man's mouth. The older man let out a low and attractive moan as he kissed him back harder. There was no way that Tony could come back from this now. 

There was a knock at the door, and they pulled their faces apart, still interlocked in each other's arms. Their cheeks were flushed, and their eyes were dilated. Tony smiled at him warmly, not letting go.

"Who is it?" He called out.

"Security." A man's voice came booming through the door. "Miss Potts is here."

Tony closed his eyes, clenching his hands in Peter's shirt as he took in a deep breath and nodded. "It's go time." Peter whispered, "You can do this."

They separated from each other as Tony took a seat in his huge fancy desk chair. Peter wanted to stand beside him, sitting down gave the idea to Pepper that they were equals, and if she made a move, he wanted to be there to catch it. 

"Bring her in." The doors opened and Peter placed his hand on Tony's shoulder, squeezing for support as two security guards walked in with Pepper. 

"Pepper." Tony spoke, clearing his throat. "Take a seat." 

Pepper rolled her eyes and sat down on a really uncomfortable metal chair that Peter insisted they put out for her. The guards stayed in the room and closed the door over. The office itself was pretty huge, with large glass windows down the side. 

"So what? Are you going to hand me the keys or do you have some sad story to tell me first." Pepper asked, crossing her legs over and looking to Tony with a glare. 

Peter squeezed his shoulder again as Tony looked down for a moment. Peter had this fantastic idea to make notes about what he wanted to say just in case his mind went blank, yes it was an old tactic, and he's the great Tony Stark didn't need them for any other reason. But talking to your abuser messes with your head, and he didn't want his mentor to fall flat.

"Pepper," he started, gathering up the strength to look her in the eyes. "As head of Stark Industries, you are fired. My… uh, lawyers are looking over the legal documents and I am changing the names of the company papers, turns out, I don't need your consent."

Pepper's eyebrows raised as if to say; _ oh, is that all? _

His face was red with nerves as he carried on; "Uh, as off today your pay has been cut off too. All your access to Stark Industries both the Towers and… uhm, the online systems have been revoked. The systems have your fingerprints and DNA so there's no… there's no way you can hack in. Basically, Pepper. You're screwed."

Pepper laughed at him, like he had just told a funny joke, she gave him an expression that said;  _ as if you could do this without me. _

"I give it a week before you come begging on your hands and knees." She spoke in coldy. "You'll drive this company into the ground, just like you did with your life."

Peter furrowed his eyebrows, gripping onto Tony's shoulder so he knew that he wasn't there alone. 

"Uh, furthermore. I'm getting a restraining order against you." He looked down to the desk and then back to her. She just sat there with a smug smile on her face. 

"You'll never be rid of me, Tony." Pepper spoke, "I'll always haunt you, and you know it. I assume that's why you brought your little pet with you? Hm?" She brought her eyes up to Peter, smirking before going back to her ex husband.

"I see you've been a stupid idiot again." She continued, pointing towards the bandage that was padding up his arm. "Did I do that to you Tony? Huh? Did you panic like a child when I came over?"

Peter clenched his jaw. He didn't want to be the one to let her have it. He needed Tony to break through that wall, to tell her exactly what he is thinking. He had to let it out so he could move on. As Peter looked down at him, he noticed how uncomfortable he looked. Tony's eyes were down at his hands and his leg was shaking slightly. 

Peter let his fingers smooth over his shoulder, trying to give him some comfort.

"I bet you did. I bet you pulled a 'tony' and ran away, cowering like you always do. You're such a pathetic man, and getting this  _ child _ to stand up for you."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't talk down to Peter." Tony finally spoke, licking his lips and taking a hasty breath in. "Or me for that matter.'

Pepper sniggered, "What? Did I  _ hurt  _ little Tony's feelings? Huh?"

Tony shakily stood up, glaring at her, with still a hint of fear inside him. "You don't get to hurt me anymore." He stated. 

Peter looked at him in awe. Finally! Tony was standing up to the one horror he couldn't shake, the one thing that tore away at his self worth and self confidence. And Peter couldn't be more proud. That's the man he knew, and that he knew was inside him all along. It was finally coming out again, and it was beautiful. 

"You have hurt me in every way possible, but no more. I… I won't let you. I'm… I'm worth being alive. And I'm loved. And… the success of this company will show you exactly how much I can do without you. Your words are poison. Get out of my life, because I have a new life to start, without you."

Pepper stood up, pursing her lips and looking him up and down with an unimpressed expression. She stood towards the desk, and as she did, the guards moved closer to her, taking her arms.

"There's still one way I can hurt you." 

With that, the guards escorted her out of the office and out of the building. Tony turned around, facing Peter, who was looking at him with such pride written in his face. Peter grinned at him, tears in his eyes. 

"You did it." Peter told him as he jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. "I'm so proud of you, Tony. You did it!"

Stark held him close, closing his eyes as his face rested in Peter's hair, breathing him in. "Thank you, Peter." Tony whispered. "Thank you so much."

\---

It wasn't until they got back to the penthouse that Tony decided he was going to tell him. He had to! He had all the adrenaline pumping through his body, and he was on top of the world. From now on, he would be safe from all the things he feared, they couldn't turn up to hurt him anymore. 

His confidence was bubbling up inside him and he felt it, he felt the good nerves, the good feeling in his stomach as he paced around the penthouse, trying to come up with the words. He was hyping himself up.

_ You can do this. No one kisses someone like that unless they love them. He's perfect. He's Peter. _

Tony paced a little more. Peter skipped down the hallway in his pj's and stopped to look at him. "Okay, I have just come up with a great idea for Stark Industries, you're going to LOVE IT!" Peter beamed.

Tony smiled widely at him, "I'm sure I will. But first, Peter. I have to talk to you about something."

The smile didn't leave Peter's face, "Okay! Do you want to sit down? Or maybe get a drink? Or we could -"

"I'm in love with you." Tony blurted out before he could let himself work it in a better way. 

Peter's mouth dropped open, his eyes surprised. He couldn't quite understand what was going on. He looked at Tony for a few moments.

"... you…  _ you're  _ in love with  _ me _ ?" Peter questioned him. 

Stark nodded, licking his lips. "Completely. I tried to fight it at first, but, it's not going away. Peter…" he smiled as he walked towards him. "You've shown me what happiness could be, what love could be." His hands gently rested on Peter's jaw, looking down at him lovingly. 

"Peter. I… I'm so in love with you." He smiled. "Let me love you."

Peter's eyes told a different story than the rest of him. All the younger man wanted to do was climb into his arms, but his brain wouldn't let him. He touched Tony's face and whispered back. 

"Tony… I can't. I'm sorry, this is all too much. The attack, the panic, moving around, Pepper, the business, you… I can't take much more right now."

Tony dropped his hand and his smile, taking a few steps back. "Why do you keep kissing me?" He asked, staring down at the floor. "Especially if you don't like me."

Peter's heart sank 50 feet underground. Didn't like him?! Surely Tony knew how he felt?! Everything Peter ever did was to make him happy or proud! He had to know how Peter felt. But he couldn't say it, because saying it made it real, and he had too much to lose.

"Tony…" Peter said quietly. "Don't take this the wrong way."

Tony laughed so he didn't cry, his body filling up with sadness and heartache. The most perfect, beautiful and loving person he ever knew, was rejecting him. 

"No, you're right. I'm not good enough for you, why would I be? I've got grey hairs and cuts on my arm, and look at you… you deserve perfection." Tony told him. His eyes betrayed him and let out some tears as he tried to stay strong, a lump in his throat. 

Peter shook his head, "Tony, it's not that, please don't put yourself down! It's my own problem."

Tony shook his head, staring down at his shoes. "That's just a line. I've used it before." He whispered. Tony licked his lips and stood up straight, "That's fine though… because I knew it would happen like this. Good things like you don't happen to broken people like me. I'm going to bed, try to sleep in yours tonight, I need time."

With that, Tony sadly brushed passed him and walked towards his room, shutting the door. Peter slowly walked after him, his heart hurt, his body felt like dropping to the ground and crying. How did Tony not understand what this all was about? He'd said it enough times. They had this conversation over and over again, dropping hints how he felt and why nothing happened. 

He paused outside Tony's door, standing there and listening to Tony sob. It broke his heart, but there was no way Peter was leaving him alone tonight. Tony needed comfort, especially after today. He went into his room for a while and dug out the portrait of Tony, finishing it up. 

Forty five minutes later, he put it into an envelope and wrote Tony's name on it, holding it in his hands. He softly made his way to Tony's bedroom, pushing the door open and stepping inside. Tony was cuddling into a pillow, the tears had stopped but he was still awake. He looked hopelessly up to Peter, who smiled sadly and walked towards the bed. He placed the envelope on the bedside table, and climbed into the bed, moving closer towards Tony's back and wrapping his arms around him. Peter closed his eyes as he cuddled into him from behind, resting his face into Tony's hair.

"Goodnight, Tony." He whispered. 

The older man let out a long sigh, "Goodnight, Peter."

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

PART ONE - The Fight

When Peter woke up, Tony wasn't in bed with him. He opened his eyes to realise that he was alone and he hated it. He groaned an annoyance at himself as he fell back into the pillows, clenching his eyes shut. The frustration inside him was almost too hard to handle. 

Why could he just be open and let this all be known? He had figured that Tony knew how he felt. How he'd always felt. But how the hell could he stay away from it now? He HAD to talk to him, try to make him understand. 

Peter got himself out of bed and walked down the hallway, looking around for him. He couldn't find him to start with, but soon he found him tiredly sitting in his armchair, which he had turned towards the glass so he could overlook the city. He had showered and got himself dressed up in a suit, but he didn't look in the all powerful mood the suits normally brought him.

"Tony?" Peter asked as he slowly made his way over to him. "Are you okay?"

Tony didn't say anything, he just continued to stare into the sky. Peter looked around, picking up a pillow from the sofa he made his way down to sit on the floor near Tony. He made sure to sit down in a place where the older man could still see him, but he wasn't in front of him. 

"Tony, I think we need to talk." He sighed, looking up at the man whose face was drained with tiredness and sadness. Peter felt fucking awful. The older man didn't say anything, he was resting his head against his hand as his elbow sat against the arm. 

"Okay, I'll talk." Peter told him, shifting on the floor to get comfortable.

"I don't really think that's necessary, kid." Tony spoke, his voice low. His eyes stayed on the view outside. 

"I do. And when did you start calling me kid again? The other day you called me "honey"." 

Tony breathed in deeply and then let it out, feeling it with his whole body. He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "Why do I keep letting myself do this?" 

Peter was confused, "What do you mean?"

The older man's arm dropped. "Letting myself care about people! This is exactly why I had all those fucking walls around me!"

"Tony, I -" 

"No!" Tony interjected. "I'm done! I'm done caring, this is why I kept you at an arm's length, this is why I act like I don't care about anyone, because then I end up trusting people, and loving people, and it fucking HURTS! Because no one will EVER care about me back!" he shouted, his face red, not with anger but in pain.

Peter could feel his body wanting to start crying without his consent, it was one of the worst feelings.

"Obadiah, Pepper. Basically everyone else." He sighed, "And now you."

"Excuse me?!" Peter exclaimed, standing up, "How are you liken me to them! I never once did anything even quarter as bad as what they did!"

Tony looked at the floor, miserable. "But it hurt just as much."

Peter didn't know what to say to him, he paused for a moment. "Tony… you can't just act like this every time someone hurts you."

The older man got out of his chair and started to walk back towards the open kitchen. 

"Don't walk away from me!" Peter shouted at him, "Actually talk to me instead of walking away!"

Tony stopped at the kitchen island, resting his hands on it. "I told you this would happen, that it would be hard to be around me. I'm not the hero you want me to be."

Peter followed him, but stopped a few feet away. "I like you just as much as I did yesterday, last week, last year. But I'm getting so annoyed at you!"

Tony spun around, "Why?! Huh?! Because you can't handle the fact that I'm broken, and I always have been broken! Everyone hurts me, Peter! Everyone tries. It doesn't matter how much money I have or how many fans love me - I DON'T LOVE ME! And maybe Pepper was right?! Maybe I don't deserve to be alive? It's not like anyone's ever going to love me!"

Peter's hands were in his own hair, pulling at it in frustration. His face was red with anger and his eyebrows were furrowed. 

"For the love of GOD, TONY!" He found himself shouting at the man for the first time in his life, really shouting at him. "YOU might be broken, but that doesn't mean you can't be fixed!"

Tony didn't reply, he sat back on the stool behind him slightly as he listened. 

"Those people who hurt you?! I'll fucking kill them, you don't deserve that! You never did! Pepper was FUCKING WRONG! And don't you EVER say anything like that to me again because I'm going to fucking lose it!" Peter told him off.

"What's the point, Peter?" He asked quietly. "You're the only one who wants me alive and you don't even want me."

Peter broke into tears as he kept telling him off, he was shaking, overwhelmed and he just needed a fucking hug. But he wasn't going to back down. "I'm not the only person who wants you around! And will you let me say what I came in here to say?!"

Tony shrugged. "Say whatever you want. I have a meeting to go to in twenty minutes anyway."

Peter shook his head as tears fell down his crimson cheeks. "Do you want to know why I rejected you?"

The older man's voice broke as he answered. "I don't think I can handle it."

"It's not because you're not good enough," Peter started, "And it's not because of your mental health. You're beautiful!" 

The things he was saying were sweet, but he was still shouting at him like it was a telling off. 

"You're so fucking perfect, Tony and you ALWAYS HAVE BEEN! Do you wanna know why I've always stuck around? Even when I was 15? Even when you HATED ME? Or when I found you in the bath?!"

The older man wiped his eyes as he peered up and nodded, sniffling as his body was shaking. 

"Because I want you!" Peter exclaimed. "I've ALWAYS wanted you! From the moment we FUCKING MET I've had feelings for you and it's never stopped growing!" 

Tony's mouth gaped open, "Buut… if you… want me then why… why do you keep rejecting me?"

Peter turned around and began to pace, his heart going a million miles a second, adrenaline just coursing through him, he had to move, he needed to let this shitty feeling out. He cried as he angrily explained. 

"Because… because the HARDEST things I've had to do is lose the people I love!" He sobbed as he turned back and walked Tony's way. "My mother, my father, my uncle! You!" He shouted.

"If I lose one more person I'm gonna lose myself! I just got you back!" He stopped and sobbed into his hands. "I don't want to get too close because I'm cursed. Everyone I touch dies, and I don't want you to die because of me."

Tony's heart fucking shattered, how the hell could happy little Peter be keeping all of this inside him for so long!? He wanted to stand up and pull Peter into his arms. But they both needed this outlet, they needed to just scream their feelings. He still wasn't sure how Peter felt about him, because  _ want  _ and  _ platonic love  _ weren't  _ in love. _

"So we are never going to happen?" Tony asked him, "Is that what you're telling me? Because you're afraid you're bad luck, you're going to stop both of us being happy?!" Tony stood up, knowing that he had to leave in a minute for his meeting. 

"Can't you just fucking understand what I'm saying?!" Peter shouted back. 

"YOU'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING PETER! You keep circling back and  _ expecting _ me to know but I'm not a fucking mind reader! I need to hear the words but I don't think you're able to say them yourself!"

Peter chin shook as he stood in place, crying, sobbing with his whole body. His chest was in pain, his eyes stung, everything about this moment made him want to fall to the ground and cry until he was dehydrated. 

"Until you can figure yourself out, Peter. We need to give each other some time, because I have NEVER felt this strongly towards another human being in my entire life. I've given you my lab, my house, my industry and my heart, and it seems to you that that means nothing." He wiped his eyes, sniffling as he stood tall. "I've got to head to my meeting. Clean yourself up and we'll have dinner tonight."

With that last statement, Tony walked past him, picking up his keys and leaving to go to work. 

Peter sobbed loudly, letting his cries fill up the apartment. It was like nothing could make his life worse. He just lost his safe space, his charger, his hero. And now it was just him, with no one to hug him better. 

\---

PART TWO - The Battle

Peter used all of his energy to crawl into Tony's bedroom and cover himself in the sheets. He snuggled himself in and cried some more, hugging Tony's pillow and feeling bad for himself. He felt safe surrounded by the scent of the older man, it protected him. If Tony was alive then Peter could at least have a reason to be happy. 

He was swiping on his phone, looking at pictures of them both together. From the very start, to the other day. It was so obvious to him now how Tony's feelings grew and changed, but Peter had always looked at him the same. It never changed. How did Tony not notice?

As if by some horrid turn of fate, the moment that he was finally drifting off into a sleep, Friday's alarms started to go off, loud and booming, alerting him and making him jump.

"Initiating lockdown procedures, Mr. Parker, which room are you in?" 

Peter shot up, "Uh, Tony's bedroom. Friday?! What's going on?!"

"There is a break in. Seven men are infiltrating the building. Your room is secure." She alerted him.

Without missing a cue, Peter started to panic, his body temperature rising as he suddenly forgot how to breathe. Why did Tony have to be out now!? Peter breathing was all over the place as he looked around the room. He couldn't hide in the bathroom, not without Tony. So he took a hold of the duvet and pulled it off of the bed and dragged it with him underneath, trying to keep himself as hidden as possible, he didn't know what was going to happen, but he hoped it would be quick.

Peter put the phone to his ear, trying to call Tony, but it just rang out. "Fuuuck," he cried to himself. Now was not the time to start screening his calls! He understood it was business and that Tony was hurt, but if Peter dies because Tony purposely ignored his calls, it would kill him.

He rang again and again, crying and hyperventilating as he started to hear smashing noises around the apartment. They had gotten in, and they were coming for him.

"HEEERE PETIE!" A strange voice called through the halls.

Peter texted Tony as fast as he could.

**PP -** _ "SOS break in please hurry," _

He put his phone on silent and hid under the covers, under the bed, trying to tell himself it was going to be okay. The footsteps were coming closer to his bedroom door, each room being searched and wrecked. His body was shaking, as he tried to find his happy place.

Peter clenched his eyes shut, trying to keep himself quiet. Seven men… christ he hoped they weren't the people he fought before. Now, as Spiderman he could have gone out and fought them, but Tony told him never to take on that many people alone again. 

So instead he curled up and cried, calling Tony over and over as the enemies got closer.

"I know you're here!" A man called out as he searched the penthouse. "Come on little Spiderman…"

\---

Over in the offices, Tony could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he needed to pay attention to the meeting. It wasn't that he didn't care, it was that right now, he needed work as a distraction to keep him from breaking down again. 

The men he was talking to, seemed nice enough, but they just talked and talked for ages. They knew what they wanted and Tony had no problem doing business with them, but he couldn't keep his mind in it. 

After a while, one of them suggested they stopped for a coffee break. So Tony pulled out his phone. 

27 missed calls from Peter. 15 alerts from Friday. 7 texts that started with SOS.

"Fuck," Tony stood up immediately. He looked over at the men and stammered, "I uh,... I apologise… turns out I, uh, I have to go. Let's rearrange." With that, he flew out the door as fast as he could.

\---

Peter clenched his eyes shut and prayed for a quick death, hoping that May knew how much he loved her. He thought about the times he was happiest, and surprisingly they mostly had to do with Tony. Remembering them kept him calm, the feel of the older man's arms wrapped around him, the way his skin felt against his, his scent, his laugh, his everything.

Why was Peter so scared to admit how he felt?

-

_ "I was uh wondering… maybe… and you totally don't have to… but… well… would you like to be my person?" Peter immediately covered his face in embarrassment, he was sure Tony was going to laugh at him and say no.  _

_ "Peter." Tony smiled, licking his lips. "I would be honoured to be your person. If you would be mine as well." _

_ - _

Suddenly his phone started to vibrate in his hands. He got brought out of his thoughts as he looked at the screen. Tony was calling him.

"T...Tony?" He whispered, biting his lip.

"Honey, what's going on, are you okay?" A concerned voice came through. Tony still cared.

Peter cried, speaking as quietly as he could, "People are here… they… they want to kill me."

Tony went into protective mode the second he heard that, "Are you safe? Do they know where you are?" He wasn't going to let anything happen to his Peter. Never.

"Friday locked me in your room. They're looking for me." Peter whispered, his voice was shaking with fear. There was a loud smash in the room next door to him. "They're breaking things!"

"It's gonna be okay, I'm coming. Stay quiet, can you do that for me?" He said softly into the phone. 

Peter nodded, "Y...yes. Tony I -"

"No time, stay safe. I'm coming." Tony told him, hanging up the phone. 

Within 20 seconds there was a banging on the door, "I know you're in there Peter!" A voice called through, "And I'm coming for you!"

The younger man cuddled into himself tighter, hoping Tony would save him.

The villains continued to try to bash down the door, each whack terrifying Peter. Suddenly, he heard a scream coming from the other side of the penthouse. 

Tony was here.

\---

Tony had geared up in his suit, entering his penthouse and sneaking up behind the first guy. 

"Looking for something?" He spoke behind the bulky man, emptying his cupboard. 

The man spun around, but before he could make a move, Tony snapped his neck, throwing him out of the already smashed window. The scream came from the second man, who came across the scene. He held up a gun and shot a few bullets at Iron Man, but they did nothing but chip a little paint. 

Tony stormed towards him, but before he could get to him the man ran towards the stairs to the roof. He was calling out for the other five men to follow suit, but one did not. The one hid himself away as Tony chased them to the roof.

-

Peter could hear the screams from the men above, and Tony swearing at them as he killed them off. However, the one man that stayed inside was hammering away at Tony's door again.

"I'm gonna get you Petie… you're not safe forever!" 

After the screaming and thuds above them had stopped, it was silence apart from the man whacking his way into the bedroom. Peter shook and cried, wishing he had told Tony how he felt. 

-

Tony stood and watched as the man tried to get into his bedroom, but that was not gonna happen. 

"I'm right here." Tony spoke, startling the man and making him turn around. This man was about 6 feet 2, and extremely strong. He caught Tony's eyeline and shot him an evil smile.

"We're not here for you, Tin Man. We're here to destroy your heart, what we should have done weeks ago."

Tony couldn't control his anger, "It was YOU!? YOU hurt Peter?!" He shouted, his face had never been so furious, it caught the man off guard slightly.

"And I'm here to finish the job."

Iron Man sped towards him, picking him up and throwing him down the hallway, furthest away from his bedroom. As the man tried to get up, Tony grabbed him by the neck and held him up against the wall. 

"Who sent you?" Tony growled at him, his face close enough to intimidate the man. 

"Not telling." He spat back. 

Tony clenched his iron fist tighter around his neck. "TELL ME WHO SENT YOU!"

The man's face started to turn red as Tony choked him. He listened to him struggle for a few moments before he loosened his hand a little.

"Pepper!" The man confessed. Tony fucking lost it. Pepper was behind all of this from the very start, hurting Peter. 

HURTING HIS PETER?

Tony picked the man up and stormed towards the open window, still mostly holding him by his neck, he threw him out into the open air to fall to his death. 

Looking around he breathed in, looking at the mess. For a moment he thought about everything that had just happened, and then he turned back towards his room. Peter must be terrified, he needed to know how safe he was.

Stepping out of the suit, Tony raced towards his bedroom and knocked on the door. "Peter! Pete! It's me! It's safe!" 

"Are you sure?" A small scared voice came from the other side. 

"Yes, Friday! Lift the lockdown." Tony called out as he held onto the handle. 

"Done, Sir." Friday reported. 

Tony swung the door open and rushed inside. He was met by Peter standing with the duvet around him, tear stained cheeks, shaking, scared and alone. Stark's face fell, moving forward and scooping Peter up in his arms. Peter pulled tightly against him. 

"You're okay," Tony whispered, "It's okay, you're safe. Baby, you're safe." his face rested in Peter's hair as he felt relief wash over his body.

"You saved me," Peter whispered against him. "You're my hero."

Tony smiled, closing his eyes and holding him as lovingly as he could. "Am I? Maybe I'm still good for something."

Peter breathed him in, "Please, don't leave me, don't make me go home."

"I'd never do that. It doesn't matter about before, I just want you to be safe."

"Promise me," Peter told him. "Promise me I'll be yours forever."

Tony kissed his hair, "We both know where we stand on that."

Peter licked his lips, preparing himself as he looked up, arms slowly sliding up Tony's body to his neck. "Tony…" he whispered, his lip still shaking as he peered up at the older man. 

"What's wrong?" Tony asked him, his arms completely wrapped around him. He watched as Peter tried to find the words, opening his mouth and looking hopelessly into his eyes. 

"I want to… I have to… tell you…"

Tony shook his head slowly, smiling. "Don't." He whispered, letting his fingers gently touch Peter's angelic face. "You're just scared, you don't mean it."

Peter's eyes fell shut, "But… what if I do?"

Tony leaned forward and gently kissed his forehead. "Then tell me when there isn't a disaster. Hm?"

The younger man cuddled into his chest, breathing him in. "Thank you for saving me."

"Anytime,"


	14. The Courtroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, more to follow soon.

They didn't talk for a while. Peter curled up on Tony's armchair as the older man called people to help him clear up the mess. It took hours, and a fuck ton of money, but eventually everything was back to normal. There were at least twenty people hired to fix the window and clean up the broken glass. 

If it was any other scenario, Stark would have been extremely enraged over the state of his penthouse, but all that mattered to him was that Peter was safe and unharmed. Emotional? Yes, very. Terrified? Of course. But safe and alive, so Tony could relax. 

He advised people what to do in the penthouse, getting everything sorted, on the outside he looked very well together, like nothing that had happened in the past few months actually occurred, but inside things were a mess. 

Why was Pepper doing this? Why did Tony not realise? And how the hell could they stop her from doing worse than what she's already done?

Luckily for him, Peter had a little chip up his sleeve, but Tony had no idea about it. 

Happy and May had rushed over too, and brought them food. They spent as long as they could there, to make sure they were okay. Happy helped Tony out as May sat with Peter. 

It was a huge shock that this had all happened, but as soon as everything was back to normal, and our two men were left alone.

Peter watched as Tony said goodbye to the last workers leaving, thanking them and walking them to the elevator. When he returned, he stood behind the sofa, looking down at Peter who was falling asleep in his armchair. 

"Hey, sleepyhead." He said in a soothing voice as he walked over to him, crouching down to his level. 

Peter opened his eyes and smiled. He looked so sleepy and adorable, his hair was a complete mess. "Hey," he whispered. "Everyone gone yet?" 

Tony nodded. "Yes. The window's been replaced and everything, we're gonna be okay." He explained in a soft voice. "How are you holding up?"

Peter shrugged, pulling his blanket over him and gazing at Tony through tired eyes. "I'm just glad it's over. I was so scared that you wouldn't get to me on time."

Tony smiled, shaking his head slowly. His fingers gently touched Peter's jaw. "I'll always be there. Always." He whispered. "Now, let's get you to bed."

Peter nodded, moving to stand up. "Tony… do you know why they were coming to kill me?" He asked as he yawned, walking towards the bedroom. 

"I do, but let's not talk about it now." Tony followed him in and got ready for bed, sliding into the sheets and waiting for Peter to climb in too. 

As the younger man did so, he cuddled in close to Tony and snuggled into his chest. "Tell me," Peter whispered. 

"Well," Tony started, kissing his forehead. "It turns out, they were sent here by Pepper. She's behind it all. I don't really know how to handle this."

Peter looked up at him, "Tony… I think you need to press charges against her." 

The older man's eyes widened. "Pete… I can't do that. If everyone finds out… you don't understand."

"I understand completely. Which is why we don't have to do it via the press. We will do it privately, make sure the press stay away."

Tony sighed and lay on his back, putting his hand on his forehead. He breathed in heavily and grimaced. "I can't." He whispered. "Look how hard it was for me to tell you, and then even so, who's going to believe me?"

Peter sat up cross legged. "I believe you. And I'm sure Friday has footage as proof. I overheard your fight, remember? Also, there's something I should have told you."

Tony raised an eyebrow and turned his face to look at him. "What is it?"

"I uh, bugged the office." Peter admitted. "When we kissed, I put one under the desk, so I have audio of the way she talks to you."

The older man gaped, he was so emotional right now. He never in his life thought he would be able to speak about what happened, and he never thought anyone would believe him. Peter really cared about his well-being, which was amazing. But Tony was still scared. 

He was Iron Man for fuck's sake! He wasn't supposed to be broken and abused. As far as the world knew, he was confident and happy, living a cushy life, sleeping with different 20 year old girls every night. But it was so much different than that. If he did go forward and press charges, he would have to admit to a large room full of people that he was abused. And that really hit his ego, his pride, his self worth. 

But he knew Peter would be beside him. And woah, Peter thought this through and bugged the office? Tony should have been more annoyed at that but he wasn't.

"You… you did?" He asked.

"Yeah… you know, just in case." 

Tony smiled up at him. "You're perfect." He turned onto his side so he could watch Peter's face turn into a blush. "Do you really think I should do it?"

Peter nodded, "I really do." He told him, "I think that it'll be good for you. And when she goes to prison, you won't have to worry again. Tony… you have a chance to be what you've always wanted to be."

"And what's that?" Tony asked quietly. 

"Free. And loved." Peter lay down across from him. "I know you, Tony. I've known you for years. Fuck Obadiah, fuck Pepper, fuck bucky and all the other people that have hurt you. You're Iron Man, let yourself be happy. You deserve it more than anyone."

Tony closed his eyes as he listened to the words, his hand reaching forward and entwining themselves with Peter's. He pulled Peter closer to him and snuggled in close. "I do want to be happy, Peter. I want to be so happy. I just, I don't know if I can." He spoke sadly and quietly.

Peter kissed his jaw, "You can. And you will." He whispered, "Because as long as I'm alive, you will never have to go through anything alone."

\---

For the next few days, they ignored their feelings. It wasn't something they needed to discuss right now. Of course, Tony just wanted to kiss him and tell him to give them a shot, but it wasn't the right time. Peter suggested that they needed to get this case going as soon as possible before Tony freaked out and left it. He wasn't going to settle until Tony felt safe enough to let himself be happy. 

The first thing Peter had Tony do, was to tell Happy about all of this. It was hard, and horrible, and Happy cried, but it was necessary. They sat and talked for a few hours, discussing it in detail. Peter wasn't really a part of the conversation, but he was taking notes of everything so he could build a case up  against her.

As Tony went to work, Peter sat at the older man's home office, working with Friday to pull as much evidence as needed, from the audio in the office to footage of what happened between the 'not so happy' married couple. He also managed to get audio and video of the man confessing it was Pepper. It was all really hard for Peter to watch, in fact, he spent the full time crying.

Pepper had thrown things at him. Made Tony bleed a few times. Once she smashed a plate on him, and even punched him when he refused her. She degraded him, mocked him, stole his things, refused to give him food. 

This was probably the hardest thing he had ever seen. Tony Stark was this charismatic, god of a man, and to know that this was what was happening behind all of the fortune and fame… it was disgusting. Peter felt sick, like he could never eat again. He didn't want to, after seeing her insult and poison the man against himself, he just wanted her gone.

When Tony came back from work that night, he made them both dinner and they ate in the home office. Tony sat on the couch and talked to Peter as he worked, with one ear phone in. 

"You know you can take a break?" Tony offered to him.

"Not for a second." Peter told him, picking up his fork and taking a bite of his food as he kept his eyes on the screen. "I'm gonna be here all night if that's what it takes."

Tony was watching him in admiration. He didn't know what to say except how much he loved the man. They ate their food in silence as Peter kept working on collecting data, and Tony ended up falling asleep right there. 

It took a few days before Peter was happy with what he had, knowing full well that Pepper was going down. All he had to work on was making Tony feel comfortable enough to tell people everything that had happened. He contacted a lawyer, and told him that this needed to be kept between lawyers and the judge, that if the press found out, Tony would sue whoever leaked it.

Soon, the court was dated, and Pepper had been arrested. She came in with her lawyer, and stood tall against Tony and his. The only people in the room were them, the lawyers, the judge, Peter, Happy and May. Tony needed the support, but he knew that he was going to be okay. Peter was beside him every step of the way, and he made sure that Tony knew that.

It wasn't a long case like they thought it would be. It was hard though, really hard. To stand in front of your abuser and say; "You attacked me. You broke me. You broke into my house and tried to kill the one I love." It certainly wasn't an easy task! But he got through it without it getting out, and he had never felt more proud of himself.

Even though Pepper fake cried, and called sabotage, the judge was a pretty good one, and he sided with Tony all the way through. There was enough evidence to suggest that Pepper was an abusive partner, and that she did send the thugs over to kill Peter. 

Peter gave a statement too. Telling them all about the fight he had overheard, how upset and broken his mentor seemed. 

By the end of the three days, Pepper was found guilty and taken into prison. She got 25 years on the basis of domestic violence, conspiracy to commit murder, paying someone to commit murder, harassment and damages. 

The moment this was announced, Tony burst into tears, finally letting go of the fear. She wasn't going to be around to hurt him anymore, and he could live free of the evilness she brought. And with that, Peter would be safe and sound. 

That night they had a celebration, going out for dinner and eating fancy foods. It was a night to remember, and a night to be happy. Peter could feel it in his soul that the two of them were healing.

Peter's body healed up, and his anxieties had kind of faded away. He got so focused on saving Tony from his demons that his own slipped away, and suddenly things didn't hurt him as much. It was closure, for both of them. And although Tony seemed to be the same caring Tony he had been presenting himself to be with Peter, he got his swag back. His charm, and his importance started to flow inside him again.

They had fixed each other. 

Peter was made co-owner of the company a month later, and this, the press was allowed to know. It was probably the second best day of his entire life, as the first was still yet to come.


	15. Learning to Love Again

After the huge and fancy congratulatory party for Peter becoming partner, Tony and Peter headed back to the penthouse. They waltzed in, laughing and happy, just the way that they had always wanted to be. They were both dressed in suits, but Peter's tie had gone missing on the way home. They looked a happy mess. It felt great to just laugh and finally be themselves.

As Tony lay back on his armchair, he grinned handsomely, looking at Peter. "You know? I framed that picture you drew of me."

"You did?!" Peter asked happily, laying down on the sofa. "That's so cool, where is it?"

"In my office." Tony told him, "I love it. Along with my notebook."

Peter blushed, "You still have it? I assumed you would have thrown it out."

"Of course I have it!" the older man confirmed. "I told you, the best gift I've ever received, apart from your artwork." Tony said in a matter of fact way.

"I'm glad you like them," Peter told him. "But now I'm getting money I can get you whatever you so desire."

Tony chuckled and shook his head, "No, I want the from the heart gifts. Fuck money, I've got enough." He tapped his hand on the side of the armchair, "So uh, that MJ girl at the party tonight?"

Peter looked up at him. "What about her?"

The older man focused on his fingers, trying to keep himself from acting too jealous. 

"She's very pretty." Tony spoke flatly.

The younger man raised an eyebrow and looked amused. "Is she? You want her number?"

"Oh god no," Tony spoke fast, "I mean, no, that's okay… I mean… She was all over you." He stated, "I think she likes you."

The younger man watched his face, noticing how Tony seemed to completely change. Like this was the worst subject to talk about.

"Yeah. Yeah she was. I wasn't left alone for a minute," Peter confirmed. 

Tony grimaced, clenching his jaw. "Yeah. I noticed." 

Peter sighed, lying back and rubbing his forehead. "She asked me out tonight actually." 

Tony's eyes shot up to Peter's, "She did? What did you say?" He looked worried, like, seriously worried that Peter was going to tell him that they were now dating. And that MJ was going to be here all the time, and that Tony had to deal with it. If he had to sit in his house and watch Peter make out with  _ her _ then he was going to blow.

Peter scrunched up his face. "She's not really my type, Tony. I told her no, I mean, she was gutted but I think we're cool." 

Tony let out a sigh of relief, relaxing into the chair. He smiled to himself as he bit down on his lip, thinking about Peter being his. 

"So uh, what's… what's your type?" Tony asked him, leaning on his elbow. 

Peter smirked, blushing. "Uhm. God, okay, so I've only ever really had a crush on one person." He confessed, sitting up. "I don't have a type… I have a person."

Tony could feel his face flush as he tried to hide it, hoping, knowing that the person was going to be him. The nerves were too high, but in the best way. He paused for a second, smiling to himself.

"Who is it?"

"Do you want to dance?"

They both spoke at the same time. Tony looked at him in confusion, as Peter giggled. "Sorry, but uh, do you want to dance?"

The older man found himself nodding, "Yes, I'd love to." He found himself utterly enchanted as he watched Peter stand up and walk over to Tony, holding out his soft and elegant hand for the older man to take. 

As Tony stood up, he was led into the center of the room, and Peter pulled him close, looking up into his eyes. 

"Friday," Peter spoke up, "Play 'Arms' by Christina Perri."

( **AUTHORS NOTE - PLAY SONG)**

The song began to softly play, as Peter looked up into Tony's beautiful hazel eyes. His arms softly rose up his chest and met at the back of his neck. He could feel Tony take in a nervous breath as he stepped in close. 

The older man couldn't understand what was about to happen, but he went along with it. He felt his body warm up and his heart race as he saw the sparkle in the younger man's eyes.

Tony's hands slipped around Peter's waist slowly, holding his body against his. Peter felt so warm against him, and smelled so amazing.

Their faces were inches away from each other as they slowly began to move around the room. The older man took the lead, slowly lowering his head, not to kiss him, but to get that nearly kissing feeling. It was magical. 

Their faces so close together as Tony took one of Peter's hands in his, slowly linking their fingers together. They fit perfectly, like their hands were meant to be held by each other's. 

He began to take advantage of the wide space and travel around the room, his eyes never leaving that of Peter's. God he loved that man. From the way his lips curved up into a smile, to the way his eyebrow was always out of place. Peter was enchanting, and surely he knew it. 

Feet moving, chests together, eyes locked on each other. It was like nothing in the world could ever come between them again.

He didn't feel guilty, which the old Tony would have for being this happy. But woah, was Tony happy. Like he had all of a sudden grown a new heart and learned to smile truly within himself for the first time. He spun Peter around the room, smiling warmly as Peter beamed up at him, both enjoying every single movement. 

"When did you learn how to dance?" Peter giggled as Tony spun them both around, bodies pressed up against each other. 

"I've always known, I just never get the opportunity." Tony smirked at him before biting his lip and looking over Peter's face. 

They began to slow down as the song continued, Tony's fingers gently tracing Peter's jaw, watching as the younger man reacted. His pupils were dilated, and his breathing changed. 

Dare he hope? 

"Pete…" Tony whispered, "I've never stopped loving you."

He watched as Peter blushed, grinning as his eyes lit up. The younger man stopped dancing, letting his hands hold onto him tightly. 

"Tony Stark… I have loved you from the moment we met, all those years ago. And I  _ never _ want to be without you again. I'm in love with you." Peter finally confessed, his eyes swimming with emotion. 

Tony's face was a picture, his eyes welled up as he smiled, looking completely overwhelmed by Peter's long awaited confession. 

"You mean it?" Tony's voice cracked as he spoke. Peter nodded, his eyes flicking from Tony's eyes to his lips. 

"I'm sorry it took me so long," Peter whispered, stroking the man's jaw. "I was so scared of falling in love and losing you, that I didn't realise how much worse it would be if I lost you and didn't love you."

Tony's smile was wide and beautiful, "Do you want to make this work? Please tell me that -"

"I do." Peter interjected, "I want to make us work so badly, I'll do anything to prove it."

"Not necessary," Tony whispered, slowly shaking his head. "The only thing you need to do... is kiss me. Kiss me slow… kiss me so long that we forget everything that happened. And then stay with me, move into my bedroom, and let me love you from every angle."

Peter blushed heavily as his fingers gripped themselves in Tony's shirt. "How long have you been planning that little speech?" He grinned, his tongue darting out and sliding over his bottom lip. 

"Mmmm, for a very long time." Tony smiled softly, "So, are you going to make me beg for it… or…?"

Peter giggled, moving his head so their noses rubbed together, his lips hovering over that of the older man. Their hot breaths mixed together as their eyes looked lovingly into each other. "Beg for it." Peter whispered. 

Tony let out a low chuckle, letting his hands smooth over Peter's sides, and gently sat at the small of his back. "Please, Peter?" He whispered against his lips. "Please kiss me, I miss you."

"You'll never miss me again," Peter replied. 

With that, he leaned up and touched his sweet lips against Tony's. The very second they collided, they both melted into each other's touch. All the tension they might have carried faded away. Tony felt like his soul was flying, he missed this taste so much, the beautiful taste of the one he loved. To feel those lips against his again and having it mean something was like all the happiness he had missed out on, coming back to him. 

As they nibbled at each other's lips, Peter's hands slid up to the back of Tony's neck, letting his fingers touch the older man's hair. 

Stark's hands pulled Peter's hips against himself, letting his tongue softly open up the kiss. Peter moaned sweetly as he let Tony's tongue explore his mouth, letting his join in. The older man's fingers tightened in his shirt, as Peter pressed against him, fitting their bodies completely together. 

The kiss was tantalising, and all of Peter's senses were heightening. He had desired the older man so much for so long, that knowing where this could lead, made him almost shake with nerves. 

Tony groaned as he felt the younger man cuddle into him as they kissed. He could feel his body warming up, his mind filling up with fireworks and love. 

Peter stroked his chin lovingly as he slowly pulled back. "Tony…" he smiled, his face flushed and his lips glistening as he smiled dreamily. "Take me to bed," 

The older man's face was a mixture of hope, happiness and love. Those words that he had been waiting for so long to be said to him, and oh god he didn't want to disappoint. 

"It would be my pleasure," he moved back, holding Peter's hand in his. "I want to make this perfect for you."

Peter blushed, "You make it perfect. What did you have in mind?" 

"I thought maybe… hm, music? Candles? You… stark naked on my bed, me, making you moan over and over again?" Tony asked seductively, a smirk playing on his face as he watched Peter. 

"I'd love that. Yes please," Peter beamed, stepping forward. "Have you ever… been with a guy before?"

Tony shook his head. "'Fraid not, no idea what I'm doing. I've not even slept with anyone since… god. I don't want to think about it. I've got some bad memories." He sighed, staring down at his feet, "I'm afraid I'm still a little messed up over it." He shrugged. 

Peter stepped into his space and kissed his cheek, "I have nothing to go on." He whispered, "So whatever happens… we'll do it together, and work it out. Because one touch from you is better than being with anyone else, and hopefully, there's a way I can make you feel better… and feel loved."

Tony blushed, head still down as he smiled like a lovesick puppy. His eyes looked up to Peter, "God, I love you. I'm going to go make our room ready, I want this to be everything we've dreamed of."

"I love you too, I'm going into my room to make myself all pretty." Peter grinned. 

They both started to walk down the hallway hand in hand, "Don't you mean… your old room?" Tony smirked as he kissed Peter's forehead before parting and walking towards the master bedroom. 

Peter closed the door to his room and spun around in a circle, squealing to himself. He was so giddy, for the first time he was going to have sex… but it wasn't JUST sex… this was sex with the most handsome, sexually attractive man he had ever seen, who loved him. Really and truly. 

He fell on the bed, biting his lip as he smiled. Not long now and he was going to hopefully sinking down on Iron Man's cock. Fuck… this had been on his mind for so long. He wanted to get off with him in the bath… okay, so he shouldn't have crossed the line by asking the older man to take off his boxers, but when Tony did… christ. 

Peter began to look around for his cherry lip balm and for some body lotion. He wanted to be smooth and perfect. Luckily for him, his fear of razors had slowly faded out, so he jumped in his bathroom to make himself feel attractive. 

When he came out, he put on one of Tony's long band t-shirts, which just looked enchanting on him, and he waited for Tony. He could hear the older man scuttling about, putting music on softly, and swearing when he accidentally burned himself on the lighter. Peter giggled, listening in. 

"It has to be perfect…" Tony spoke to himself. "Candles, check… music, check… uh… chocolate… protection… lube… check, check, check. Uh… shit what else… wait, he likes me in my shirt. Where'd I leave that?"

Peter grinned, standing against the door, listening to his… boyfriend? Getting ready. It was so sweet how he wanted it to be perfect for him. Of course, Peter wanted it to be just as great an experience for the older man too, but he had no idea what to do to make it so.

He figured Tony needed more of an emotional connection and support than Peter did, whereas Peter still needed that, but just having Tony there, touching him, loving him… that was what he always needed.

The door opened and Tony walked out to see Peter waiting for him. He smiled, holding out his hand and looking at him adoringly. "Whenever you're ready,"

Peter was so excited, he nearly skipped over to the older man, taking his hand. He let himself be pulled into the room. The moment he stepped in, the scent of lavender hit him. The lights were off but the glow of the candles lit up the room. The bed sheets had been changed, and there was chocolates and red wine sitting on the bedside table. Music softly played in the background. 

Peter could have cried when he saw the room, and yes, Tony was wearing that shirt he loved. It was a button up shirt, because Peter wanted to slowly undress him, and make it into something sensual. 

Tony looked slightly nervous, "Uh… is it okay for you?"

The younger man grinned, his eyes filled with love. "It's perfect. You... You are perfect." He slowly walked up to the older man and stood against him, their eyes never leaving each other. 

Peter nervously raised his hands and let them sit on Tony's chest, "I can't believe this is happening." He whispered, gently unbuttoning the top of Tony's shirt. He felt that Tony was just as nervous as him, watching as the shirt was gently taken apart. 

"Pete… uhm, wait a second." Tony whispered, touching the younger man's hand and holding it gently. "Can we talk first?"

He nodded in reply, eyes looking worried. "Of course, let's uh, sit down." 

They both took a seat on the bed next to each other, close enough that their legs were touching. Both of them terrified of this step, of how this was going to play out.

"Before we do this… you have to know, Peter." Tony said quietly, taking the elegant hand in his. "She used to make fun of my scars. And tell me I had a horrible body." He whispered sadly, "I don't know if I'll be good enough to make you happy."

Peter's eyes welled up as he stood up slowly, his hands and eyes on Tony as he kneeled down between his legs.

"You know," Peter whispered, leaning forward and kissing Tony softly. "Every seven years… every single cell in your body is replaced… which means there isn't a part of this gorgeous body… that she's touched."

Tony could feel a lump in his throat, god that was such a relief to hear. He only wanted this body to be Peter's and his… she was in the past, and now he could let himself be loved again… feel loved again.

"I am so in love with you," he whispered as he let his hands go back to unbuttoning Tony's shirt. 

"And I think your body is gorgeous." He leaned up and began to softly kiss the skin he was uncovering. Tony watched him with a love filled gaze as Peter gently stripped him of his shirt, letting it fall off his shoulders. His lips trailed over his body slowly, his hot breath tickling the older man's skin. Tony closed his eyes as he felt a sweet wet heat around his nipple, sucking at it. 

"Fuuuck," Tony moaned, leaning back on his hands as Peter transferred his lips to the other nipple. "I like that," 

Peter pulled back, "I… I think I can cum a lot tonight. What about you?" 

Tony smiled, "I think a few times. I hope so. What do you want to do?"

Peter sat high on his knees in between Tony's legs, his hands smoothing over the older man's gorgeous thighs. "I… I want to suck you off… and then… maybe you could do the same to me? And then I want you to be inside me."

Tony opened his legs wider, steadying himself as he watched Peter with want and desire. "Yes please… oh god, please. I haven't had one in so long."

"How long?" Peter whispered, lowering his lips to touch upon Tony's thigh. The older man's eyes fell shut as he felt Peter's lips trailed along his warm soft skin. 

Tony breathed in, "Since… oh god since me and her first got together."

Peter peppered kisses all over Tony's thighs, massaging them softly. His face slid up to the man's crotch, rubbing over his cock as it hardened under him. Tony moaned as Peter breathed in, rubbing his cock with his face. "I'm so excited," Peter whispered, letting his hot breath kiss the sensitive skin above Tony's boxers. "You smell so good," 

Peter's fingertips gently rolled down Tony's boxers, the older man moving his hips to help him. As his large cock was revealed, Peter gasped, feeling more turned on than he had ever been before. 

"Holy shit." He said to himself, taking a moment to look Tony up and down. When he caught Tony's eyes he realised how self conscious he seemed. "Tony." He smirked, his eyes swimming with desire. "You're such a fucking god."

The man in question blushed, "Really?"

Peter readied himself between Tony's thighs, letting his hand trail around his back and pulled the older man closer by his ass. "Really, oh god…" Peter eyed up his cock, begging to be touched. He let his tongue slide over his bottom lip as he moved down to kiss the sensitive skin around it. 

"I want to make you moan," Peter whispered, his hand coming around to wrap his long fingers around Tony's cock. 

"Shit." Tony reacted, leaning back on his hands for stability. He watched Peter. The younger man's eyes were in wonder over Tony's cock as he started to jerk him off, and when they flicked up to the older man's eyes, Tony noticed how turned on he was.

"Fuck Pete… baby, that feels so good." He let his mouth hang open as his angel touched him finally. 

"It's about to get so much better." Peter smirked, opening his mouth. He leaned forward and let his tongue slowly swipe over the slit of Tony's cock, keeping his eyes against his loves. 

"Ooh!" Tony moaned a little louder, almost in surprise. Peter trailed kisses up the side of his shaft, one hand holding his hip as the other was on his thigh. The younger man began to lick his way around it before opening his mouth and letting his lips surround Tony's cock.

"Baby!" Tony moaned, his head falling back as he felt the feeling he had missed so much. Fuck, it had never felt this good or meant this much before. Peter tried his best to get him all in, his pink lips stretching around Tony's cock, sucking as hard as he could as he bobbed his head. 

"Oh… baby, you… oh you're so good…"

He felt Tony's fingers thread in his curly hair as he bucked his hips up. Saliva dribbled down his lips, sliding down the man's balls. Peter pulled back slightly, focusing on the head as his hand wrapped around the base. As the other hand gently massaged Tony's balls, he worked as hard as he could to get the older man to cum.

"That's it! Oh, oh fuck!... Peter! Baby!  _ Jesusfuckingchrist! Just like that!"  _ Tony moaned loudly as he could feel his orgasm rise up inside him, his body heating up as he looked down to see Peter trying his best. 

"God yes!" Tony moaned, thrusting up into Peter's sweet mouth. "Fuck… nearly there baby, nearly- ooohhh!" 

Peter hummed around his cock, moaning and making obscene noises. He opened his eyes and looked up at Tony, who looked dishevelled, flushed and out of breath. The moment they locked eyes, Tony came hard down the younger man's throat.

"Ah fuck - I'M CUMMING FOR YOU PETER!" He cried as he exploded in his mouth. He watched shakily as Peter drank down every single drop, not moving his mouth away until he had finished. 

Moments later, Peter pulled away, looking up to the older man with his lips glistening and plump, his eyes darkened with lust. "Uh… how was that?" He whispered with a laugh. 

"Come here. Right now." Tony commaned, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him onto the bed. Their lips connected together in a steamy kiss as Peter was pulled into his arms. Tony turned them over and pressed the younger man into the bed. 

"I love you." Tony growled as he began to kiss down Peter's perfect jaw, trailing his lips towards his neck. He sucked hard at the skin until it became bruised. 

"Nngghh… fuck, I love you too!" Peter moaned as he writhed under him. Tony's lips were too good to be true, they drove him crazy. As his lover's strong hands slid up his body, they caressed his body, flicking over his nipples and playing with them.

"Fuckkkk," Peter moaned, as his shirt was being pulled up. He felt the older man pull away so he could pull the shirt off of him. As soon as he was topless, Tony's magical lips reattached themselves on Peter's body, this time on his clavicle, spreading kisses down his body towards his nipples.

"Tony… oh, please…"

Tony sucked on his nipple as his hands smoothed over his body. The younger man was whimpering under him, thrusting up to get friction. "Please… please I need to be touched!"

The older man sucked the other nipple as his hand slid up the inside of Peter's leg, letting his hand palm his clothed cock.

"God!" Peter exclaimed, thrusting up, letting his head fall back on the pillow as he let himself be adored. 

Tony's hand slipped inside his boxers, gripping his dick for the first time. Peter moaned loudly, his mouth open. "Fucking finally!" He exclaimed as Tony began to jerk him off, those talented hands that knew how to do it so well, holding him in a way that made Peter feel so overwhelmed. 

"Like that baby?" Tony asked, kissing down his body. "Huh? You like my hands on you?"

Peter nodded, "Uh huh!" He moaned as his hand travelled to push his boxers down. Tony chuckled against his skin and helped him, leaning backwards to look over the younger man's body. 

"Baby, oh Peter… you're so fucking beautiful." He told him as he licked his lips. Peter blushed under him, his cock pulsing, just begging to be touched again.

"You mean it?" Peter asked, his hair a mess against the pillow as his body lay across the fresh sheets beneath Tony.

"I promise," Tony smirked as his hands smoothed over Peter's milky thighs, leaning down to kiss his abdomen. 

"Tony…" Peter moaned as he watched him, one hand gently touching the older man's hair, and the other grasping in the sheet beneath him, preparing himself. 

The older man's tongue began to lay a trial over his skin, predating himself for something he'd never thought about doing until recently. He kissed the base of his cock and looked to Peter. 

"Tell me what to do," Tony whispered, "Please." 

Peter licked his lips, "Uh… try and get me all in… suck me down, pay attention to the head… shit, try and do what I did." He suggested as he shifted in his space, pushing his hips up.

"Can you do something for me?" Tony asked, bending down to lay an open mouthed kiss on his balls. 

" _ Ohmygod! -  _ Yes?" Peter breathed out, his eyes clenching shut. 

"I don't know if this is stupid… tell me if it is… no one's ever agreed before… can you call me… daddy?"

Peter blushed and grinned, "Of course, daddy," he wiggled his hips some more. "Please daddy, please!" 

Tony felt his heart combust, suddenly he was allowed to be the person he wanted to be, he had freedom to act how he wanted to act. Peter was really healing him in every way.

Without a second thought, Tony wrapped his lips around Peter's cock, sinking down and taking him in whole. It didn't even feel weird like he thought it would, he actually enjoyed the taste of Peter. 

"NGghhhh!" Peter moaned, "Daddy please!" 

Tony began to suck as hard as he could, bobbing his head and sucking hard. He loved the little noises and squeaks the younger man was making. Tony picked up Peter's thighs and wrapped his legs around his head, moving his head faster. 

"Oh fuck! Fuck yeah! Oh! Oh harder - you're so, fuuuuckk, daddy! Daddy I'm gonna cum! Can I cum?!" Peter cried out, his fingers gripping in tighter into Tony's hair. Peter thrust up, his entire body shaking in want and the desire to cum. His body was sweating, turning red and heating up as the other hand clasped tightly against the sheets. 

"Daddy! Tony! Ah fuck!" His back arched as he tried to look down, watching Iron Man such him off as if it were his purpose in life was the hottest fucking thing he could have imagined. 

"TONY!" he finally cried out as he fell over the edge, cumming hard inside Tony's mouth. 

The older man moaned in pleasure as he drank him down while Peter shook out his orgasm. Pulling back, he crawled up to cuddle up beside his younger lover, eyes searching over Peter's face. He was flushed, grinning as he breathed heavily. 

"How'd I do?" Tony asked, gently moving the hair sticking to Peter's face. 

"Fucking amazing." Peter whispered, biting his bottom lip and reveling in the moment. "You're… you're just perfect." He turned to his side to press his body against Tony's. 

The older man's arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him close, letting his hand go down and caress Peter's ass. "That's a really nice ass, baby. I've been wanting to grab it for a long time."

Peter giggled, "You can do whatever you want to it. Kiss it, smack it, bite it. It's yours." He kissed Tony's cheek softly. "Before we have sex, I want to do something."

Tony looked quizzical, raising one eyebrow. "Will I enjoy it?" He smirked. 

Peter leaned forward and rubbed their noses together, "Close your eyes and let me do this."

Tony nodded and lay on his back, staying quiet as he waited for what Peter was going to do next. Peter sat up, looking over his body, his fingertips gently touching Tony's shoulder and down his chest to his hip. 

He felt Tony shiver slightly. Peter eyed up the scar on his chest. He let his finger softly trace around it before leaning down gently and laying a soft kiss against it 

When he pulled back, he noticed how Tony was looking up at him, innocent and self conscious. Peter smiled warmly down at him, leaning back down to touch his lips against another one of Tony's scars.

"What are you doing, baby?" Tony asked softly. His hand gently resting against Peter's cheek.

"I'm adoring you." Was the man's reply. "Every part of you." He slowly reached out for Tony's arm and brought his hand up to his face. He kissed Tony's wrist and then spoke again. "From the good parts, to the bad parts…"

Tony watched with teary eyes as Peter looked over the healing scars on his arm, and kissed them slowly. The older man's heart had never loved this much in his life. All he wanted was to be adored, and everything that came to him was in the wrong way… but this was worth waiting for. Peter was worth going through a lifetime of hardship, just to be in this moment, together. 

Peter continued to kiss over his scars, moving over his arm. "I love you so much." He whispered, hovering his body over Tony's, bringing their lips together.

"I love you too," Tony kissed him back, his hand sitting on Peter's waist and the other in his curls. He turned them over so he was on top, smiling into the kiss. 

"So… do you want to?" Tony asked him, "You don't have to." 

Peter gently touched his cheek, "I want to. I really want to. I know you've never done this with a man before, but I've not done this at all, so maybe… can you take the lead?"

Tony nodded, smiling. "Of course, baby. We'll do this together." He reached over to the bedside table and picked up a bottle of lube. "How… uh, how do you want to do this?"

Peter shrugged, "I guess, just like this. Take it slow to start with."

"Sir, yes sir." Tony smirked as he leaned down for another kiss. They kissed each other softly as Tony opened the lube and squirted some on his fingers. He lathered up his fingers before letting his hand drop between Peter's legs. 

The younger man instinctively opened his legs wider, biting down on Tony's lip as he pulled away, looking up lovingly into the older man's eyes. Tony let one of his fingers gently touch against Peter's pink hole, pushing it in gently. He watched the younger man's face as his eyes widened a little. 

Peter was nervous, but happy, it was a little uncomfortable to begin with, but as Tony slipped his full finger in and out a few times, it started to feel really good. "Fucck," Peter whispered to Tony. The older man smiled down at him as he slipped in another finger. 

"Does that feel good, baby?" Tony asked him, kissing his face. "You're doing such a good job."

Peter bit down on his lip as he felt Tony's finger push in further, stretching him out. "Oh god… more."

"You are so pretty, Peter… you feel so tight. I can't wait to be inside you."

The older man moved his hand a little faster, playing with a third finger. He could feel Peter hard against him again. Just watching Peter come undone made him more turned on than before. 

"Am I a good boy?" Peter asked him, holding onto Tony's back as he leaned over him. 

"Such a good boy," Tony kissed his neck. "My good boy, I'm so proud of you…" he let a third digit fully insert inside the younger man, curling up to graze over his prostate. 

"OH FUCK!" Peter moaned, his head falling back into the pillow. "Tony… shit, tony, please,"

The older man removed his hand, touching Peter's face with his clean hand and kissing him softly. "Beautiful.

Peter blushed under him as he grabbed a condom from the shelf. The younger man touched his hand and stopped him. As Tony looked at Peter, he began to whisper. "I want to feel you, Tony. Make me yours."

"But baby, we need to be safe." Tony reminded him, kissing his nose. 

"I know, but this is my first time. And you haven't had sex in a long time… please? Make it special? Claim me, daddy." Peter said in the most seductive voice. 

Tony dropped the condom and kissed Peter hard, lathering himself up. Peter's hands were in his hair as he pressed up against him. Tony moved Peter's legs around him again, positioning himself. 

Before he pushed himself in, he looked into Peter's eyes lovingly. "You make me feel complete again." He whispered. 

The younger man teared up as he pulled Tony in for a loving kiss. Slowly, the older man pushed himself inside of Peter. 

Peter closed his eyes and just let go, letting the sensations fill up his senses, take him over in a way nothing ever did. It was so much better than he had spent his time imagining it would feel. Tony's large cock slowly filled him up, stretching him out a little more. "Ohmygod!"

The older man had never felt something this amazing before, he groaned as he closed his eyes, head dropping to Peter's neck. "Fuuuuckk, you're so tight, baby."

Peter's hands held onto the back of Tony's shoulders as they held each other close. Tony was so big inside him, he didn't know if he could take it, but oh god he wanted to try. "Please, daddy, fuck me!" Peter urged him. 

Tony pulled out halfway and pushed back into him, both of them moaning and gasping as they set a rhythm, holding on tight. Peter's mouth hung open against Tony's ear, moaning into him at every movement. Tony felt more like himself than ever, gripping onto Peter's hips and moving faster. 

"Oh! Oh fuck! Tony… daddy!" Peter cried out, his nails digging into Tony's back. 

"Baby… fuck, you're so amazing, fuck honey, such a good boy!"

He pounded deeper into the younger man, letting his hand fell between them and wrap around Peter's dick, making him moan even louder. They weren't going to last much longer. 

Their bodies were glistening with sweat as he moved passionately against each other. 

Tony's thumb swiped over the head of Peter's cock, jerking him off furiously as he pounded into him. 

"Tony! Tony! Fuck, Tony! I'm gonna cum, just Tony!" Peter cried out, scratching down Tony's back and grabbing his ass. 

Tony bit down on his neck, moving harder as he pulled back to kiss him. "Cum for me baby," he encouraged him, "Cum all over us, fuck you're so beautiful, cum for me!" 

"Tell me I'm yours!" Peter exclaimed.

"You're all mine, baby, all mine forever, I fucking love you, cum for me, Peter!" Tony thrust up thrice more before Peter came hard between them, shooting strings of white liquid all over his chest. 

"I'm c-OMING! TONY!" Peter screamed as he did so.

The muscles inside his ass spasmed around Tony's cock, milking him as he came hard inside Peter. His large load spilled inside him, filling him up. 

"Oh, my - PETER!" Tony cried out. They rode out their orgasm together, collapsing on the bed together, completely breathless.

Both of them lay side by side, listening to each other breathe. Tony leaned over him and began to lick up Peter's cum from his chest, making hungry noises as he cleaned him up. 

Peter was tired now, dreamily smiling at his partner as they lay down beside each other. Peter snuggled into his arms and kissed his chest. Tony smiled, wrapping his arms around him.

"Peter… you're so perfect." He whispered against his hair. "I'm so glad things went the way they did,"

Peter sleepily lay against him, "Me too. I love you so much, Iron Man. And there's no getting rid of me now. And don't worry, you'll never be sad again… I'll always keep that smile on your face."

Tony kissed his hair, "And I, you Spiderman. Never leave me, because I need you around. Sleep well, baby. Our new life begins tomorrow."

And with that, our two lovers fell asleep in each other's arms, dreaming good dreams. Now the nightmares had been chased away, and there were no monsters in their path to happiness. They could finally let themselves be happy, and help each other to grow. They said goodbye to the horrors of the past, and never again let them come between them again. 

Tomorrow would be a new opportunity, to relive their lives as they were always meant to. Side by side. Learning to love again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the readers who stayed with me, you all deserve the best. I really appreciate and love the comments, and this chapter is a love letter to our characters, and from me to you all, it's what we all deserve.
> 
> Be kind to yourselves, I love you all.  
> @theanyathea - twitter   
> @brianmaysgirl - insta


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